Omg please help!

Okay, her almost 3 year old screams for milk and can’t go down or climb up the stairs, which is quite ridiculous and clearly detrimental to the child’s development.
When you’ve worked in Reception, the “babyed” children stick out like a sore thumb against the rest.
Everyone on this thread has been trying to suggest to OP all the ways she can change to help the situation and they’ve mostly been ignored.

Yeah, there's a lot of he's 3, why isn't he popping to the shops and making breakfast on the stove for everyone, mine were doing that by 18 months. Stop treating him like a 3-year-old him or he will turn into a courgette and will never drive himself to school by the time he starts year 1. Oh the humanity.

What about the OP and her child makes you think she shouldn’t have children?

oh and yes of course I'd say if you keep screaming, then noooo milk no way.

Blimmin isn't

DS moved out of a cot the day he somehow managed to climb out of it in his sleeping bag and fell on the floor with a loud thump (I was downstairs when I heard the thud and came upstairs to see a stunned DS sitting by his cot not quite realising what had happened)

It’s shown to be beneficial for children to sleep in cots til 3. They don’t necessarily need to use the toilet independently as the majority won’t be night trained.

Well I know exactly what I'd do. This business of having to stay upstairs while whoever goes downstairs to get the milk - I would ditch that straight up. I'd pick him up and take him down with me the second he starts screeching, I'd get him to help getting out the milk etc and maybe pouring a tiny bit from one cup to another. I'd involve and distract him. I would no way sit upstairs with him screaming, telling him to stop. I'm so sorry you've been through that with him. At this age distraction and engagement is usually a great way to break the scream mid-holler.

Just tell him if he can’t wait nicely for his milk he’ll have to go back to bed till he’s calmer. He’s 3! Show him what is expected so he can get on with his day. It isn’t at all kind to behave as you are.

Well then, that's a good reason to get a bed - nothing to do with age. Mine never tried to climb out so every family is different.

Same here, but of course this is Mumsnet where people are piling on the OP about a 2-3yr old not being ‘school ready’. My twins were in a cot til 3, one still has milk now at 6. They could also write their names, count to 20 and were potty trained by 2.5 🙄

If a kid is in a cot until 3, are the bars up all around? Or is it essentially a toddler bed with no raised bars? How on earth are they getting to the loo independently? This makes no sense to me. I get that beds, mattresses are expensive, but this seem developmentally unsound.

A three year old can easily climb out of a cot. Mine started climbing out at 2. It was when there was a massive thump from upstairs when they slipped off the side that the benefits of a bed became apparent....

@Livelaughlurgy sadly there are children in this country who don’t have access to books. DC now late teens, there was a scheme when they were little where they got free books at certain ages (bookstart?).

Another reason funding for 2 year olds was introduced to enable children in certain areas to have access to childcare so their development needs would be met.

There are young children who don’t understand books and that is not because they are being read to via a kindle

You have to keep adapting as your child grows and his needs change. He’s now letting you know that his needs have changed. Let him practice going up and down stairs, and then let him come down with you when one of you goes down first thing. Then play it by ear whether you’re both going back up to the parent still in bed with drinks for a cuddle and a chat, or if he’s too full of energy and needs to be somewhere more interesting instead, one of you has drinks & breakfast downstairs with the toddler and the other one sorts themselves out.

You can’t both expect a relaxing morning in bed every day when you have a toddler. It sounds like you’re expecting life to be how it was when he was a baby forever and it’s time to accept that isn’t the case.

You basically have bizarre rules you've created that you now need to change to accommodate your growing child

At age 3 mine were getting out of their beds (not cots) and coming in our room to wake us. We'd then go down for drinks/breakfast. In fact at three, I think they'd sometimes go down with their older siblings and could easily navigate the stairs. They'd go and put the tv on!

If your child has developmental issues then maybe things are different but this all seems rather bizarre to me, he's not a baby.

Her ‘3yr old’ is 2, almost 3, so they will be starting school next September. That’s over a year and half away so chill your boots.

I don't have much to add apart from ignore those saying 3 is too old for morning milk. My 5 year old has a mug of milk first thing - milk is good for kids!

Also he was in his cot bed till about age 3.3. He liked it and it kept him safe and contained so why change unless you need to (I had to eventually as was too heavy lifting in and out as I was pregnant and had back issues....fwiw was a nightmare for a while once he knew he could get out of bed)!

Urm yes of course

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

We will be up and downstairs for hours in the morning!

I'll get up and go downstairs with the kids about 6.30am, playing and watching TV, having milk and breakfast, and at about 8am onwards we start to get organised to go out.

I do not think your setup is bizarre- DH and I drink coffee and tea in bed, why wouldn’t your DC drink milk.

The screaming sounds like a terrible twos / seeing how far he can push it kind of thing, exacerbated by a baby in the house (if I got that right). My kids have an age gap of 2y and when DC2 started solids DC1, who had been eating independently with utensils since 11mo and had been baby led weaned before, suddenly demanded to be spoon fed for a few weeks. I think his logic was “baby sister opens mouth and spoon is inserted, nice noises made, mother’s attention given. i want those things so I will open my mouth and look helpless”.

But an almost 3 year old should definitely be able to navigate stairs. Going down backwards and on all fours both directions if not otherwise.

Another vote for taking him downstairs first thing. Sometimes you just have to change something. Toddlers are not rational at all. Him screaming for milk makes no sense, but it’s become a routine so change the routine. It’s not necessarily about doing one thing or another, just about doing something different to hopefully make him do something different.

What do you mean by ‘use a book’? Read it or open one and turn its pages? If the latter, absolutely yes.