Omg please help!

I personally wouldn't start taking him down. It sounds like you have a nice morning setup where you all wake up together in the morning with your drinks upstairs, nice and cosy. It's a gentle way of starting the day, and I'm all for that!

3 year olds do need watching over when climbing up and down stairs. It will be difficult for the person carrying the drinks to do that if your little one is now tagging along.

I would hold out and keep reminding him about patience and manners and why it's difficult for mummy/daddy to take him. It will pass. Otherwise he might think screaming his head off gets him what he wants!

Fucking marvellous for you. Did you get a medal when you won parent of the year?

Not every child is the same you know, and a nearly three year old boy being totally dry - or actually dry at all - is not the end of the world you’re making it out to be.

@Livelaughlurgy looks like Bookstart is still around. This is some more research about reading with little ones. Can make depressing reading

www.booktrust.org.uk/what-we-do/impact-and-research/Research/childrens-reading-habits-in-the-early-years/

I do think a child can adapt to what's in front of them. If they have to do stairs they will. If they have to go downstairs for milk they will. Just let them do things for themselves as much as possible.

When I was under 3 my mum had to lie flat in bed for months as she was pregnant with my brother and nearly lost him. Apparently I could make squash and bring up a tray for her with biscuits on that my dad had got ready before he went to work. Seems odd now. Apparently though they felt me getting busy with a kettle and making a cup of tea for her was a step too far...😆😆😆

What a bizarre carry on , just all get up and go downstairs for drinks / breakfast and then come back up to get showered / washed and clean teeth . All this fuss for a cup of tea/ coffee in bed is ridiculous , if you don’t have a downstairs toilet have a quick wee first .

@fourplusfour I think the issue is many people (including myself) rarely wait 30 minutes before brushing teeth after breakfast, as usually in a rush to get to school, work etc, so actually more harm done then, so better to brush before

everyone has their own milestones.. bear in mind my son was later diagnosed with severe Dyspraxia, Autism and ADHD, but he wasn't potty trained by start of school (nearly but not quite there), but could already read a little and use a book appropriately because i read to him at minimum twice a day. He could climb stairs but not dress/undress himself.

Why do you believe kids shouldn't be able to read before going to school?

Basic letters and numbers by 2/3 is perfectly possible and so is reading well by 4. The sooner they start the faster they learn.

By 5 years old I was reading books aimed at 2 or 3 years older, I had to go to the library in the junior rather than infant school.

My mum taught me.

This shouldn't degenerate into a 'my kids were fully potty trained by 18 months', but... I've five kids, boys and girls. They were ALL (even the SEN one) dry day and night by 2.5. Most of them by 2. They had a potty in their room if they needed a wee in the night, or they would come and get one of us if they needed a poo (usually, but let's gloss over that for now...). I understand kids with SEN taking longer to train but, really? Has it become common now for children to still be in nappies day and night at school start? My kids are adults now, but I remember all of us parents starting potty training at around age 2, because they weren't ALLOWED to start PLAYGROUP in those days unless they were out of nappies.

Maybe I'm behind the times but I don't believe children have changed so hugely developmentally in twenty odd years. And mine were all in beds by 2 (although to be honest this was mostly because the cot was needed for the next baby).

Exactly this. How big can their house be if neighbours can hear!

I think your son might be ready to move around and start the day. Take him downstairs, a change of scenery may well stop the tantrums.
Also, as others have said, he might need be involved in housework etc, try not delivering the drink to him but involve him in the preparation of it.
He could get the spoon for your drinks, open the fridge etc

Why is it better to brush before breakfast? My dentist told me you should avoid eating for 30 mins after brushing so surely it's better to eat first?

THIS!

Our child was in cot bed (with sides removed so like a mini bed rather than a cot) til 4.5years - as were many of his friends. I don't think that's a problem at all (and is helpful in small bedrooms) - but the sides do need to be removed so the child can go to the toilet independently at night. Maybe OPs child isn't quite at that stage yet 🤷‍♀️

I haven’t read the whole thread but I’m baffled. Why can’t you all just go downstairs together? He’s probably hungry/thirsty? No matter how “big” your house is, it can’t be too much of an effort to all go down and then come upstairs again? Even in a mansion. Baffled.

And 2-3 is ripe tantrum age – he’s having a tantrum over a drink, that’s it and it’s developmentally normal.

He can climb up and down the stairs but needs to be supervised because he is 2 percentile height – he literally says that so read the thread. My DD was 4 percentile height and also needed help navigating stairs at that age because if they can’t reach the handrail then it’s unsafe.

Stop scaremongering.

A 3 year old's strongest attachment is to his people. He loves his parents more than he knows whether he is hungry or thirsty. It's also a big age for separation anxiety. His vocabulary hasn't caught up with his desires yet, which is frustrating for him. But if he is shouting "milk!" there's a big chance what he means is more like "I want to go with you to get my milk!" not "hurry up and go and get my milk and bring it back to me!". You disappearing to get the milk is probably not what he's asking for. Take him with you. Yes in your pyjamas, yes you have to hold his hand down the stairs, but take him. Keep it cheery. "Woohoo, great idea, let's go and get your milk!"

I'm another who associates 3 years old with getting themselves of bed (not cot), via toilet (if wanted), down stairs (long, steep), then playing quietly with toys or putting the TV on to kids channel. All by themselves. Either there's already an adult down there, who got up at dawn with the baby; else they stop by parents bedroom to collect one for company and breakfast making 😆

I appreciate that kids vary widely, but it does like yours is quite babied. He may just be massively frustrated, has no idea why he feels the way he does, much less how to express it, and would thrive if encouraged to be more independent.

To be able to.understand that a book is read and pages turn? Yes.

I still don't get why the OP wouldn't just get everyone downstairs for drinks and breakfast. If someone wants a lie in then take it in turns.

What'll happen when the poor child is at school? Will they still be sat around in bed drinking lattes as the school bell goes?

When they get big enough to climb out of a cot you take the side off if you don't want to buy a toddler bed.

@Didimum not believe - I missed the not. It's said only 44% of parents believed their children should know how to use a book (in Astrix they said turning pages and not tapping/swiping)

@crumblingschools I'm actually shocked by that stat. I understand poverty and neglect but it's so high a number. Do all parents not have access to free hours in a Montessori or childcare? And libraries?

That is just so bizarre. Of course they are not night trained as they have no opportunity to learn. Not a boast, just description, DS was 100% out of nappies day and night before 2, DD before 18 months. There were a few accidents initially, but you could count them on one hand. You are holding back their development by trapping them in a cot.

Go and get the drinks before you get him out of the cot?

Or just take him downstairs once you're awake?

This whole "going downstairs to make morning drinks" seems a strange set-up?

Lazy drinks in bed just isn't a thing you can easily do when you have an active toddler.

Also, almost-3 is too old to be in a cot really. Both of mine were well established in toddler beds by that age.

That was always my fear. At least when mine fell out they weren't in a sleeping bag.

So bring him downstairs and give him some bloody milk!
So much drama for nothing