Omg please help!

I think it’s hard to tell, unless you spend a lot of time with others with children of the same age, where you sit on the ‘babying’ spectrum!
I have 3 children, and the only one who I was still supervising up and down stairs/getting out of a cot in the morning etc is my youngest, who is autistic. My elder 2 would have got themselves up and gone to the toilet before coming to find us in the morning (we’d often be downstairs before they woke up, so they’d come and find us downstairs) and they’d also be playing between downstairs and their bedrooms so going up and down stairs regularly on their own. They’d wait until breakfast was made before having anything to eat/drink etc and would be dressing themselves (with some direction re suitable attire!).
My youngest is a different story 😁

You have referred to his height being on the shorter side of average

I am presuming that because he looks probably much younger than he is, you are treating him as you would a much younger child.

You need to look around at what 3 year olds or almost 3 year olds should be capable of doing (like getting themselves up and down the stairs) and having a basic conversation and start treating him as a 3 year old.

He's not irrationally screaming. He wants his milk.

This has to be one of the most bizarre self inflicted scenarios I've read on here.

Err... Yes?? Especially at weekends.

But yes basically, we all get up, have morning wees, go downstairs for breakfast, then we're all milling about, splitting getting ready and helping DS get ready etc.

Do you actually all stay upstairs until you're all up, had a drink, had showers and got dressed?? All 3 of you ? That's baffling to me, to be honest. Unless I'm missing something in your post which is quite possible!

@WinterBones He is almost 3 though. Most 2.5/3 yo are merrily climbing up anything. Even the most reluctant climber should be able to go up and down stairs without supervision at that age.

It's a balance isn't it. Not too strict so they behave perfectly but are timid and fearful to do wrong. But strict enough so they end up with a healthy respect for you and learn how to get on in the world without being a twat.

he isnt 3, he is still 2

Offering her son water or a “special sip” of squash is not trying to ease the behaviour.
Again, if you read the entire thread, she was absolutely bewildered by the screaming. She said it has been ongoing for over a week, the title of her post is literally “omg please help!”. Is that me being OTT and strange? No.
Screaming at the top of his lungs every single morning for a minimum of 7 days and all she’s thought to do is offer water or a sip of squash?
Quite hypocritical of you to call me strange and OTT for labelling for you to then label me a scaremonger and tell me to get a new hobby 😂 goodness me.

I'm hardly throwing out child genius achievements. If a child is in a position where it is 100% impossible to learn to be dry they are not going to be dry. If the child has a fighting chance of learning, they can learn. Each to his own, but a pre-school age child in a cot in a nappy unable to do stairs is surprising to me if their is no learning delay/ additional need etc. But we live and learn.

Your average 3 yo should be able to use a variety of climbing apparatus, most of which is more complex and difficult to navigate than a set of stairs. If your 3 yo still needs supervised on your stairs then you might need to have a word with your HV.

Why are you treating him like a baby?

He's developed and is changing, but the way you are around him is stuck in baby mode.

Knowing why children tantrum does not stop all their tantrums – if it did people wouldn’t find toddler tantrums challenging, would they?

OP has tried to ease the behaviour – she has offered alternative drinks. Just because she hasn’t tried every trick in the book before posting you label her ‘bewildered’? Strange and OTT labelling there. She finds it strange because her child isn’t acting like they want to go downstairs and is just communicating their want of the milk. The child may well carry on screaming even if they went downstairs – YOU have no idea if they will or won’t.

As I said, stop scaremongering about a 2-3 my old having a tantrum and get another hobby.

Toilet yes, teeth brushing no.

But he goes with the parent who's going downstairs!

Why is this complicated?

I couldn’t eat breakfast or drink coffee with minty toothpaste taste in my mouth 🤢, so we all have breakfast then wait 30 mins

Take him down with you, thats clearly why he is screaming?
why is he still in a cot at 3?
he doesnt need milk brought to him he is not a baby!

i know you've said you'd try it, so this isn't a pile on of same suggestion OP, more an explanation.

If its potentially the anticipation/waiting he can't cope with and is causing the screaming, taking him down and involving him in the process of getting the drinks might help provide an engaging distraction.

alternatively, part of me would suggest the minute he starts screaming you put him back in his cot and tell him no milk until he stops... but others might disagree.

Why does his milk need to be delivered to him in bed? He's not a baby.

Tell him cheerfully, it's time to get up now to make tea, you're going to help aren't you? Then take him down and get him involved in the process a bit so you are teaching him for when he gets his own. You could sing a silly song or something, to make it seem more fun?

If he screams then tell him he won't get his milk as only babies need to drink their milk in bed. And that it's naughty to scream and shout, and rude to the neighbours.

I don't mean to sound harsh op but you are treating him like a baby not a near pre school age child. He is nearly 3 he doesn't need milk first thing he needs food. He shouldn't be getting left on his own either upstairs. He wants to go downstairs with you so take him and give him breakfast. At that age milk is only just for drinking not a source of nutrition so kids need breakfast

I have a big house and have 3 kids. It's fairly normal for kids to come down stairs get breakfast in there pjs then go back to get dressed, teeth brushed etc. It means there pjs get food on them not there clothes.

Yes.Take the clothes doen with you, go to the loo downstairs.

Sorry I think you’re over complicating things a bit. Everyone gets up and goes downstairs together, have a drink and some breakfast together. Then either you or DH get DS really either upstairs or downstairs then the other parent takes over while the other one gets ready? Is this not pretty standard? At that age I’ve always lay the kids clothes for the day out the night before downstairs in the living room, then they can potter about after breakfast playing and then I just shove their clothes on eventually. No ferrying them up and downstairs required. Also at 3 can he not be left for 10 minutes on his own watching tv having some milk on the couch while you jump in the shower?

Brushing teeth before breakfast protects enamel from the acids and bacteria from eating. I know this, but won’t lord over it as I brush my teeth afterwards regardless!

I think being completely dry at 3 is early for boys. Good on you for getting that sorted. My youngest son wet the bed for years!!

2-3 is “ripe tantrum age” when needs aren’t being met.
Children of that age “tantrum” when they’re frustrated because they can’t yet communicate their needs effectively.
OP seems bewildered that her ALMOST 3yo is screaming at the top of his lungs but has tried absolutely nothing to change the behaviour.
She said the 3yo screams UNTIL his milk is given to him.
She found it strange the idea of going downstairs before being dressed/teeth brushed etc.
Have you read the entire thread?
Like I said, until you’ve worked day in, day out with “new to school” 4 year-olds, you won’t see the differences between children who have been taught to be independent and children who have been treated as babies.

Night training is not a learned skill, it’s a developmental one and linked to hormone development, usually occurring between the ages of 3-5.

I have twins, one was out of night nappies at 2, the other at 4. Your individual child has zero to do with what’s developmentally normal.

And it’s beneficial for children to sleep in a cot til age 3:

www.mirror.co.uk/news/health/important-reason-toddlers-should-sleep-13645778?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#google_vignette