Omg please help!

That's completely incorrect. There's no evidence that learning earlier leads to better outcomes, and children taught before they are ready is actually detrimental to their progress, hence why in a lot of countries they start learning at age 7.

I was assessed at 6 and found to have a reading age of 17. I didn't learn to read until I started school.

hes probably frustrated waiting on you to start the day. Let him get up and go downstairs and have a proper breakfast not a drink of milk.

But if a child is developmentally ready before 3 years old but still stuck in a cot in a nappy that will impact on their learning. Seems things have changed in the decade and half since mine were little but I remember other mums couldn't wait to get their kids out of nappies.

This is a very odd dilemma.

The way we do it. 2 year old in bed, gets up and takes themself to the loo if they need a wee immediately. All go down in PJs, they can v confidently walk up and down and have been doing so for well over a year. They play while we get breakfast bits ready. Drink given with breakfast, unless they're thirsty and ask for one beforehand. Teeth and dressed (downstairs) after breakfast. They do their own teeth and dressing, with a bit of guidance. We then do a quicker second brush to make sure they've had a proper brush done!

It's good to foster some independence early, and they usually enjoy it too.

Could you leave a few toys, books for him to look at together with the milk?

OP what do you mean by 2 percentile legs?
My response would be to distract , whether that's by pretending to see a lion in the garden, or doing something to make him laugh, or taking him downstairs where it's different.
Please come back tomorrow and tell us how it went, whatever you decide to do.

DS did a couple of tantrums around this age he was removed immediately and put in his bedroom and ignored. it didn’t last long, he is in his early twenties now and is fine. We did tea in bed with toddlers not sure why people are calling them lazy drinks, it’s just a drink.

It sounds to me that your current routine simply isn't working for you - and you need to change it. People have given ideas/suggestions, but only you will know what will work best! For example, my 3.5 DD isn't very hungry in the morning and is a complete dawdler, so we do brushing teeth, toilet and getting dressed etc. as soon as she wakes up and then she doesn't need to go upstairs again in the morning. Maybe the screaming is because the toddler know it gets results and perhaps there might be morning panic that they're picking up on the: who is going to get them the drink? It sounds unnecessarily stressful and so you need to make some tweaks to how you start your mornings to cut the screaming habit out!

Does your DH expect a drink in bed?

I’m struggling to get my head around why you would go downstairs and bring drinks back up every morning.

I would understand it maybe once in a blue moon if you’re tired and want to stay in bed for a bit longer but doing it everyday seems more faff than it’s worth.

Go downstairs in your PJs and get his milk/have breakfast whilst down there.

and the stairs? he will work out a way to get up and down, he will never learn if you keep babying him

@Toddlerhelpplease123 some of the things being talked about are because of a recent report that has come out because many parents are not helping their children achieve the development points they should be at when they start school, one of which was not being able to manage stairs.

On the face of reading your initial posts it is possible to conclude that you are not changing some of your behaviour as your toddler develops (which is what is reflected on parenting behaviour in that report)

How is he going to learn to use steps if you don't let him? My son is nearly three and he holds onto the banister when we go down together.

@Ilovemyshed i inverted the stat and didn't change the response to negative. Only 44% of parents believe children should know how to use a book before school, 56% of parents don't believe that- it's that stat that astounds me. Also how they define knowing how to use a book appears to be turning pages instead of tapping and swiping.

However if they exhibit my lack of proof reading it's possible some just read it wrong 🙈

everyone does the morning routine that works for you, unfortunately, where toddlers are concerned, you sometimes have to pivot unexpectedly around their needs/demands (within reason)

you're not doing anything wrong, and i don't think you're babying him at all.. i think people are being ridiculous quite frankly. he's not even 3, and not doing anything developmentally inappropriate.

Asking for advice on how to handle the screaming is perfectly reasonable.

It takes a couple of minutes max to go to the toilet and brush your teeth.

When he starts crying, take it in turns to get up and give him to the other parent whilst you go toilet and brush your teeth and then take him downstairs and get his drink and breakfast and have it in the kitchen/front room.
You can be in your dressing gown for this.

The other parent can get up more slowly and come down when they’re ready for their breakfast and then alternate.

You need to get into the routine of going downstairs for breakfast etc once he needs to get ready for school so you might as well start now.

The majority of parents don’t do what you do because it’s just unnecessary and it’s extra work.

How large are the stairs? Just walk in front of him. Why can't you take him downstairs and give him a drink and breakfast whilst dad gets dressed and brushes his teeth? And then switch? Why do the three of you have to do everything together? I have a 1 1/2 year old and I give her breakfast and a cup of water in the morning and later on a cup of milk. If things are taking so long in the morning then just shower the night before.

I think you maybe have rigid expectations of his behaviour though. It’s a balance between having a routine and rules and letting your child become independent and express how they are feeling. Your child is not a machine. Getting up and going downstairs together with. 3 year old is a pretty normal thing to be doing. It’s different to screaming for an icecream. Best wishes.

It's not a mumsnet classic

Get him in a bed and put a stair gate on room.
Id imagine he’s very frustrated.

Get your kid a bed!

And move somewhere with stairs he can use

Toddlers are a whirlwind to figure out OP!
One thing I’ll add on to help you, console an upset child absolutely but don’t console a tantrum. I’d advise to distract a tantrum.
If you’d prefer to stay in the bedroom, you could start a game of hide and seek or something similar to give your son something else to focus on x

oh and 3 year olds can easily walk up and down the stairs !! you are treating him like a 6 month old!!

You're doing your best OP! And that's all anyone can ask.
Easier second time round. At least you will know what doesn't work!

Almost and actually into being 3 can have vast differences developmentally, at that age they come on in almost overnight leaps and bounds. Even 2-3 months can signal vast differences in capability.