Omg please help!

Nowhere does OP say she expects to or does lounge in bed with drinks til 8:30.

I always thought the peak adult reading age was 16? As in a 17 year old or a 32 year old should be able to read the same as a ‘normal’ 16 year old?

This thread is really bizarre. OP I live in a very old wonky cottage with perceived general hazards. My smallest has been in his own bed since before three and can navigate the stairs just fine because he is used to them. Stick him in his dressing gown and go downstairs as soon as he wakes (well, after the toilet if you don’t have one down there). He shouldn’t be cleaning his teeth then having milk straight away anyway.

Your son is letting you know he no longer likes your routine so adjust it a little. Let him have some freedom and make some choices, he is three. If he can’t handle the stairs himself then he has to go down with one of you. He can help make drinks and have his straight away. Worry about everything else once he is settled.

He's nearly three. No need to cuddle him while telling him to stop. Mixed signals. Just use the special voice and say please stop this straight away. Unless he's in pain it's bad manners and needs nipping in the bud firmly. For his own sake. There's nothing wrong with using a firm or stern voice with a child selectively.

And I'm not sure you're going against the general consensus on this thread!

put a bottle of milk and a banana in reach, tell him it’s breakfast and he’s a big boy he can start when wake up.
Or Get him involved he go downstairs and collect his yoghurt or croissant or banana and take it upstairs
we use these sho bottles for our kids

we briefly had that with our 2yo and gave them their job - when you wake up go get a Snack. They felt grown up and busy and it distracted from the screaming

My husband and I take it in turns getting dressed in the morning after sitting for a bit with coffee together and giving our 18 month old his breakfast, no meed to ferry him between rooms if you give yourselves a bit of time each to get dressed?

I agree with this.

When they are babies you can get away with lounging in bed in the mornings.

Toddlers do not allow you that luxury.

You say you have high expectations but they’re unreasonable.

Your expectations need to be age specific.

A toddler is not going to watch to laze about in bed and talk about the day ahead.

Get him downstairs asap, don’t get changed.
Give him his breakfast and then turn on some cartoons whilst you have yours.
You and DH can them get yourselves ready and take in turns getting DS ready.

For the future you can get a floor bed and have some toys in his room.
When he wakes up he may play with his toys for a bit, so you and DH can have a lie in.

When you have kids your lives need to adapt to them, more than them adapting to yours.

I think it was 17 and 5 months. The school got a psychologist because they thought I was "gifted" so he did all kinds of tests and I had a very fun afternoon, and that was the stat that stuck with me. Somehow missed the raging ADHD, but I think the diagnostic criteria were different then. I'd have been called "twice exceptional" nowadays.

My DD is thankfully not exceptional from what we can tell, just a normal, bright, happy kid. She also learned to read at school and is doing very well, a couple of book bands above expectations.

How big is your house?

I have honestly never brushed my teeth before breakfast in my own house, you are treating your house like a hotel where one must be quite rightly, slightly presentable before arriving in the breakfast room. You are inventing issues and barriers where there are none. Toddler is a big boy now, we go downstairs for breakfast.

I will go against the general consensus here, he is nearly 3 and therefore is old enough to be told really firmly that the screaming stops. When he screams cuddle him and tell him to stop, if he wont put him back in the cot and tell him you will come back and get him when he stops screaming. If you give into his screaming now then he will know how to get his own way. Sometimes children need to know that their parent is not happy with their behaviour, you can't always use a smiley sing song voice sometimes the hard voice needs to be used and this is one of those times.

He can climb up and down stairs. Read the thread.

Really that's your response to this thread?

Honestly start taking some of this advice seriously. It may benefit your DC.

Some PPs are exasperated as it's your approach that seems pretty mad.

Not you railing – but many, many others.

Here’s the full study.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945718305707

17? 😂 was that a typo or do you really mean 17? That’s so specific 😂

If he is anything like ds when he was a toddler they are up and raring to go from the minute they wake.

He doesn't want to lounge about in bed chatting and discussing how his sleep was he wants food and he wants to be stimulated, downstairs helping get his breakfast ready and starting his day with a bang.

I think the lazy mornings and drinks in bed era has come to an end! Don't worry, you'll get them back when they hit their teens and it takes a crowbar to get them out of bed at all! 😉

This thread is baffling.

You have very high expectations of your mornings if you're expecting to both lay around in bed till 8.30am drinking hot cups of drinks, with children as young as yours.

Take the 3 year old downstairs in your PJs and yes, of course you'll have to supervise him up and down the stairs if he struggles with them!

You said you're being accused of babying your child and that you actually have high expectations of him. It sounds like your expectations are just wildly out generally.

My twins were potty trained at 2. One was dry at night at 2, the other 4. Both slept in a cot til 3. Potty training is neither here nor there.

Absolutely not railing, just surprised. I don't find the research particularly convincing though maybe that is the lack of depth in the Mirror's reporting.

It means his leg length is in the 2nd percentile – 98% of children his age have longer legs than he does. He’s very short. My DD was 4th percentile and couldn’t reach the hand rail until she was around 4.

I confess I'm surprised at an almost 3yo being happy sleeping in a cot.

It’s still beneficial to keep them in a cot so long as they are safe sleeping there up until 3. Since the majority of children aren’t dry at night til 3-5, that a smaller proportion ‘might’ be ready earlier isn’t compelling enough to remove the cot with no evidence of this.

My DS was dry at night from 2, he was in a cot til 3. He simply woke up, I went to get him and then he’d go use the potty. At 2, while he as an individual kid was dry at night, he didn’t have the skills to potty by himself in the middle of the night. Another kid might be climbing out their cot and completely able to toilet alone in the pitch dark.

Posters railing against OP about cot sleeping and having none of this information is completely pointless and getting insulting at this point.

I haven't rtft, but have you tried, in a calm moment, after he's had his milk, asking him about what's wrong in the mornings? A 3 year old should be able to have a conversation about it, I would think.

For what it's worth, 3 was the only age at which any of mine had any tantrums. It was a stage that passed quickly.

And, yeah, I'm with the posters who say just whisk him downstairs asap, no faffing around with teeth brushing and drinks. You can do that after.

A 3 year old in a cot?? That’s mad. My DS was out of a cot at 18 months.. DD never slept in one but that’s another story.

Your child is growing up, he’s a little boy now not a baby. Just put a baby gate at the top of the stairs and give him some independence.

This post is so bizarre, if my child was regularly screaming as you have described I would be out of bed in a flash and take him downstairs to resolve the issue.
Unless I have missed something what time does your child actual wake, are you using this drinks method upstairs to have a lie in yourselves?