Omg please help!

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I missed a "not" which I massively regret because I've been tagged 5 million times, I'm shocked 56% of parents don't think their child should be able to use a book by the time they go to school.

My son who is a similar age has started doing this. I have to carry him around on my hip while I make their breakfasts. It’s a nightmare but he won’t be put down.

Derailing the thread but about your comment about milk alongside breakfast. Is that needed? My 1 year old doesn’t! She just has milk and bedtime but she does have milk inside her cereal. Is that ok?

Why don’t you leave a cup of milk by his cot overnight? It won’t go off and then it’s there as soon as he wakes up

What do you mean? Use a book means use a book not READ a book. My 1 year old can use a book correctly turning the pages and looking at the pictures. There's children apparently starting school attempting to "swipe" books!!
Edit: I meant pointing at the pictures not looking

Yes it's weird. He's quite plainly hungry - I can see that he really doesn't want to sit on a bed having a conversation about his day. He just wants to eat! I only started being able to have coffee in my room when my kids were much much older. You just scoop them up and take them downstairs and then after that go back upstairs to dress, do teeth etc.

I would say that at nearly 3, he probably shouldn't be given milk before food in the morning, but alongside it.

If someone else’s child was screaming through the walls at 6am, I’d be pretty fucked off.

A regular tantrum that wakes the neighbours is not acceptable and shouldn't just be tolerated. It needs dealing with, which the OP is going to do.

Firstly, babies are babies, of course a baby can cope more easily with this than a 3yo - 3yos have a developing sense of self and agency.

I think he might be screaming because your routine is too rigid and uncompromising.

Pretty much every response has been 'take him downstairs'. He wants to go downstairs, there is no good reason not to.

How about at wake-up time, one of you goes immediately downstairs for milk and the other gets him from the cot and plays with him? I think he senses potential abandonment from the person who gets him from the cot and then goes away.

Except for our first morning cuppa and to feed the cats, we get dressed before going downstairs for breakfast too. I can't stand all this lounging about in jamas and dressing gowns. Even when I had days old babies I got dressed first thing.

@Toddlerhelpplease123 Even if you have a ''large house'' - stairs are stairs in every sized house {Unless a bungalow} -Teach your son to navigate stairs safely, or use a stair gate.

Keeping him trapped in a baby bed {Cot} is probably a reason that he's screaming.
It's surprising that he hasn't learned to vault over the side at his age.

It's like he's being kept like a baby - cot and milk.

Also the number one thing you should do is teach him how to go down the stairs safely.

Show him this over and over again every day, because one day you will be somewhere and see him swaying at the top of a stairs after escaping away from you, and you will be glad you have taught him to turn around and come down safety.

Jeez you're getting a lot of aggro!! Personally, your morning routine sounds like a dream. Hot drinks in bed and leisurely chat about the day... ? I'd be doing all I could to keep that as long as possible ! (I have a 3yo and 1yo, who instantly demand to go downstairs and watch TV 🙄) ...having said that, I think you might be giving the tantrum too much attention. I would probably just say "daddy's getting your milk, let's wait here" or "daddy's getting your milk, shall we go down and join him?" Whatever is best for you. And other than that continue doing what you're doing eg carry on reading their story as if they weren't having a tantrum, etc. It sounds like it's just the start of toddler tantrums, and I've found the best way is to give love but not indulge... and all the stairs stuff is crazy! When mine was just 3 he wasn't climbing the stairs alone (he's short too!) He was able, but it's not worth the risk? Sorry you're getting all this heat OP, sounds like you're doing a great job ! I'd just worry a little less about tantrums, they can be extremely OTT but they do pass.

Yes

Don’t you have a downstairs toilet? Let him do all the stuff downstairs.

Yes???!!!

Why don't you just take him downstairs with you?

Not much advice but solidarity on the stairs thing. People don’t get it but it’s not about age, it’s about size! My three year old has only just grown out of 1.5-2 trousers, despite being age 4 in T-shirts. They’re not showing any developmental issues at all with the exception of stairs, they’re still not steady enough I’d leave them to it. We have deep stairs and with their tiny legs there’s not a lot that can be done. And at 3 they don’t want to crawl like babies so it’s a lot of wobbling!

It’s only been a week but my worry would be if you don’t change the routine that was working but now isn’t, it’ll become a ‘thing’ that is then harder to stop.

Break the last weeks screech-fest by one or both of you getting up with him, go to loo, wash hands then downstairs for breakfast with accompanying cup of milk.

He should be able to get downstairs slowly. I used to bump down some on my bum as I was (still am) very small. He is getting towards the age where kids start nursery, if they’re not going already, so going downstairs for breakfast is a good step away from an upstairs early morning bottle/cup of milk, to a more ‘grown up’ start to the day. To those saying a 6am start is unacceptable, for many many families it might not be fun, but it’s very usual.

I have no idea why it would be beneficial to keep children in a cot until they're 3. Mine outgrew cots when they were 2 and could climb over the sides before then.

Why are you getting dressed before going into your own kitchen? It's not a hotel!

He’s hungry / thirsty and wants his milk, so throws a paddy. He’s 3 - it’s fine.

If he’s generally well behaved I’d just buy a thermos / mini fridge and have it there ready for him when he wakes. My mum used to do this and it was lovely to get a drink straight from waking.

My children were potty trained by 3 , it would have stopped them getting up to the loo.
So I keep them in a cot in pull ups instead?

No plus even on the bottom rung mine were tall enough to climb out which is more dangerous.
At 3 a small child is desperate to do things not have them done for them, they can't always express this though.
I think it's a result of Covid but also larger age gaps that children aren't learning independence appropriately as they used to.

Plus the HV/Mil/ everyone can fuck off type attitudes which seem prevalent.

I’m jealous of this! I want to be the person who gets up early and has quiet time before being attacked by small children, but I’m not sleeping well and need those few extra chunks in the morning currrntly. I used to be an early riser to go for walks and stuff. I look forward to those calm moments of early morning peace getting things organised again one day!

You have a very, very loose definition of the word "derogatory" if you really think calling a situation bizarre is offensive and rude.

I assume it makes you feel better to pick at people though, so you crack on.