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Original poster

Wish I said something at the time

284 replies

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

OP posts:
Phthia · 01/02/2025 22:29

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:04

@KilkennyCats I didn't want them to say anything to me, it wouldn't normally phase me. But it's okay for a child to push another child? Maybe I'm just thinking from my point of view because I'd like to think my child wouldn't push anyone with or without reason

Was this other child around the same age, i.e. 2/3? If so, whilst ideally no-one wants it, it really isn't at all unusual for them to push another child who is intruding into their space. You need to think about teaching your child that not every child wants to play with her and she needs to respect that.

GoldenGail · 01/02/2025 22:28

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:16

So my child can't be herself is what everyone is trying to say? I'll have to tell my TWO year old that not everyone wants to be friends. Which I do, in the park if she wants to play with other children who don't, I say ask nicely and if they say no that's okay. But again, she's 2. Do you think she fully understands boundaries? But does she really deserve to be pushed? No im sorry she doesn't.

If we all have two year olds we fully control in a toy shop of all places, im open to your tips and tricks

But you are saying the other child can’t be herself and protect her boundaries that another child invades, possibly giving her a fright??? The parents told her to stop. If any apology is necessary I think it should come from YOU for allowing this to happen to the other child but in the adult world you all just say “no harm done’ and move on and forget

Bringonchristmas36 · 01/02/2025 22:28

OP you have over thought this. You’re in for a shock when it comes to playground antics at school

Summerbay23 · 01/02/2025 22:28

I’m another one who wouldn’t be letting my child run around in a shop. Sorry but in this instance this is your issue.

scotstars · 01/02/2025 22:27

This sounds like a non event. What exactly is it you think you should have said? The parents told her to stop and if your child is at a stage of running off I would have them in a buggy or a trolley until they understand

Zippidydoodah · 01/02/2025 22:26

Your child shouldn’t have been running off in a shop.

Sunshine1500 · 01/02/2025 22:25

Honestly you’re overthinking this.
don’t even bring it up to a 2 year old to discuss, just forget about it and concentrate on her enjoying her new toy.

TaliaTalia · 01/02/2025 22:24

I think you need to give the other kid the same grace you’re giving yours.
Your child is social.
The other child may not be.
Your child wanted to run with the other child.
The other child didn’t like that.
Shoving isn’t ideal but toddler shove and the parents told the child to stop it. Job done. She’s not nasty she’s holding a boundary the only way she knows how.

I have a shy, introverted and easily overwhelmed child. I HATE it when other parents assume she will want to engage with their little darlings because I know how that’s going to go. We’re working on it but in this instance, while I would absolutely tell her off for shoving, my instinct would not be to apologise to the parent of the other child or the other child, it would be to remove my own child from the situation that had upset her.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 01/02/2025 22:24

Oh, and the way you control a two-year-old in a shop is by picking her up or keeping her on reins until you can trust her not to run off.

TheGruffalochild · 01/02/2025 22:24

I think you’re very lucky if you have got to the age of two and this incident phases you. By the time dd was two she’d come home with a massive scratch down her face and bite marks from nursery and was actually shouted at by a grown male in a soft play for touching a toy. My ds, who was in the top 1 percentile from birth and was always taller/looks older, hasn’t stood a chance because kids and adults always thought he’s older and have treated him as such, with rough and tumble part of his daily encounters with older boys. On a scale of 0-10, this seems like a zero incident. I tend to “say something” at an 8 or above.

Cakeandusername · 01/02/2025 22:23

Yes you should have said something to your dc at time. I wouldn’t have been happy at dc running off. Mine did it once in shop as a toddler and she was told off and we came straight home. She never did it again.

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 22:23

Inyournewdress · 01/02/2025 22:18

I can see that it’s upsetting to see your daughter experience that when she is just being her friendly self, but I actually do find your reaction a bit upsetting in turn. To jump to thinking the child is ‘nasty’ is quite depressing when she be neurodiverse. Your highly social, trained in a week at two daughter is possibly a very different child to parent, and I think you were judgmental. It’s not nice for your daughter, but the reality of the world is that she won’t always be met with a pleasant reaction, whether for reasons of people having their own issues or of people being unkind. Now, of course you can’t really explain that to her now and I wouldn’t try to. I’d just say maybe the other girl was upset about something else or having a bad day and shrug it off. But while it’s not something your daughter can really understand at this time, I would have expected you as a adult to understand it without overreacting or judging.

We've been trying to potty train for 6 months, on and offs she most definitely wasn't trained in a week first try, I bloody wish. It just happened this week we've been really strict with it and somehow the penny has dropped for her and she's managed to do it. Hence why we were at the toy shop today getting her a well deserved reward

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2025 22:22

stayathomer · 01/02/2025 22:21

Idontjetwashthefucker

Can't actually believe you are obsessing over this complete non event hours later

that’s what parents do, and why mn exists- we’ve all done it!!

Not all of us.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 01/02/2025 22:22

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:16

So my child can't be herself is what everyone is trying to say? I'll have to tell my TWO year old that not everyone wants to be friends. Which I do, in the park if she wants to play with other children who don't, I say ask nicely and if they say no that's okay. But again, she's 2. Do you think she fully understands boundaries? But does she really deserve to be pushed? No im sorry she doesn't.

If we all have two year olds we fully control in a toy shop of all places, im open to your tips and tricks

The other girl is little too. You are WELL overthinking this.

Both sets of parents should have stopped the running. It’s not really safe in a shop.

And as for the pushing, it’s just a means of communicating at that age. In another situation your daughter may well have done the same.

Saying something would have accomplished nothing. It’s all over now. Just forget it.

Inyournewdress · 01/02/2025 22:21

Incidentally if I were the other parent I definitely would have apologised, but I also wouldn’t have let my daughter race off either. She’s not easy to control but I would physically restrain her from racing round a shop yes.

stayathomer · 01/02/2025 22:21

Idontjetwashthefucker

Can't actually believe you are obsessing over this complete non event hours later

that’s what parents do, and why mn exists- we’ve all done it!!

Dunnoburt · 01/02/2025 22:21

Good luck with school and even worse when she starts to use your phone for "Whatsapp" group messaging.... this sort of thing is constant.... not everyone is a social butterfly....the other child should have been made to apologise for pushing but equally as your small person matures they need to learn how to respect others boundaries

Inyournewdress · 01/02/2025 22:18

I can see that it’s upsetting to see your daughter experience that when she is just being her friendly self, but I actually do find your reaction a bit upsetting in turn. To jump to thinking the child is ‘nasty’ is quite depressing when she be neurodiverse. Your highly social, trained in a week at two daughter is possibly a very different child to parent, and I think you were judgmental. It’s not nice for your daughter, but the reality of the world is that she won’t always be met with a pleasant reaction, whether for reasons of people having their own issues or of people being unkind. Now, of course you can’t really explain that to her now and I wouldn’t try to. I’d just say maybe the other girl was upset about something else or having a bad day and shrug it off. But while it’s not something your daughter can really understand at this time, I would have expected you as a adult to understand it without overreacting or judging.

3peassuit · 01/02/2025 22:17

The other little girl was chastised by her parents for pushing your child. There was nothing for you to say.

Hiccupsandteacups · 01/02/2025 22:15

You’ve got a lot of this coming down the road OP if you’re going to make a mountain out of a molehill each time

Tobycarvery11 · 01/02/2025 22:14

LittleTwiggy · 01/02/2025 22:10

Totally agree and can’t believe how far I had to scroll to find this. Do people seriously watch their kids push or hurt another child and not even ask them to apologise? Wow ok…

Show quote history

I actually do agree the other parent should have apologised, but at the end of the day they didn't. Either way it's done now and what would saying something have done? Shes blown it way out of proportion, with the added point that she only saw what the other child did and actually dosnt know if hers did anything first

Katemax82 · 01/02/2025 22:13

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:03

Your child may have been trying to join in, but the other child obviously didn’t want to be joined and make friends. What you see as harmless upset the other child. No the other child shouldn’t have pushed and she got told off for that, but your child also needs to learn that she can’t just join in with everyone and not every one will want to play with her. She definitely shouldn’t be running off from you in a shop so that you lose sight of her.

Edited

She is 2!

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2025 22:11

Your little girl thought the other girl was racing but how is the other girl supposed to know that? She may have thought your daughter was chasing her and so she reacted.

Your daughter shouldn't have ran off (toy shop or not) and yes, the other girl shouldn't have pushed her.

Kids will be kids.

JMSA · 01/02/2025 22:10

Aww, I have some sympathy because this reminds me of something that happened when my eldest daughter was 2.
A friend and I took our daughters (same age) to the supermarket and put them in a double-seated trolley. My daughter was looking at her friend in such a happy and excited way, absolutely thrilled to be riding beside her.
Unfortunately said friend didn't share the love Grin She was probably tired and cranky and started slapping my daughter. Her little face was so shocked and confused.
My daughter is 23 now and I have never forgotten this!

However, OP, you must try and forget about it. It's just kids, it's not personal and no big deal. And honestly, it won't be the last time something like this happens, so try to brace yourself! Flowers

LittleTwiggy · 01/02/2025 22:10

DarkHollowTree · 01/02/2025 21:13

Not sure wtf is up with everyone on this thread!!
I would have 100% made my child apologise if I saw them being less than kind to another kid, especially one younger. If not I'd have atleast said sorry on their behalf and probably left the shop mortified!

Totally agree and can’t believe how far I had to scroll to find this. Do people seriously watch their kids push or hurt another child and not even ask them to apologise? Wow ok…