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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wish I said something at the time

284 replies

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

OP posts:
tilypu · 02/02/2025 00:09

This makes no sense to me.

The girl was miles ahead of her parents, yet you caught up in two seconds and the parents had caught up with their child first?

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:08

Tobycarvery11 · 02/02/2025 00:05

Nobody is saying that is what happened because we weren't there, but neither were you and you have to be open to the idea that your child might not have been as innocent as you believe they were. Hey they may well have done nothing, but you don't seem to be able to accept the possibility it was retaliation.

You really are pushing the narrative of my 2 year old being a monster aren't you. You really are continuing to make me seem an incompetent parent for the 3 seconds I wasn't in eye shot of my child

OP posts:
TotalDramarama24 · 02/02/2025 00:07

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:33

I'll inform my child from tomorrow to apologise for thinking she was in a race in a toy shop and got carried away and ran alongside someone. I'll make sure she understands this and says sorry for just running

Why would she even think she was in a race in a toy shop just because a complete stranger was running though? So yes you do need to teach her that not everyone is her friend or will welcome her joining in with whatever they are doing. But as far as today goes, it was a non event and no need to overthink it. When kids go to nursery they get pushed all the time.

peachystormy · 02/02/2025 00:06

IrritableVowel · 01/02/2025 21:56

It is 2 little girls being 2 little girls.

Their little girl shouldn't have run off
Your little girl shouldn't have run off
Both sets of parent should have had them by the hand
The other girl shouldn't have pushed yours
Her parents should have told her not to (they did)
You should have told yours not to run off (you did)
There is no harm done.

There will be a day in soft play or nursery when your little girl sends someone flying. You'll tell her not to, explain it's not nice. You won't appreciate the other mother calling her nasty.

They are all just learning.

Most sensible comment on this whole thread

purpleme12 · 02/02/2025 00:05

@Shannon9955 There are many people who haven't agreed with you but also haven't made any comments about your daughter chasing or running or that she did something to be pushed or any of that. And have been more progmatic.

Sometimes you have to filter out the posts on here.

(But that doesn't mean only listening to ones who 100 per cent agree with what you're saying)

Tobycarvery11 · 02/02/2025 00:05

Nobody is saying that is what happened because we weren't there, but neither were you and you have to be open to the idea that your child might not have been as innocent as you believe they were. Hey they may well have done nothing, but you don't seem to be able to accept the possibility it was retaliation.

Stravaig · 02/02/2025 00:05

OP, What you should have/could have/I'd have said to the other parents, as you caught up is — 'Sorry! This one's mine, she escaped, I hope your wee one wasn't too scared at being chased.' Then start telling DD off for chasing the other girl, and for running away from you, as you led her away. No big deal, just everyday parent stuff.

No-one here is bothered by what the 2 year olds were doing. Both escaped, yours chased, the other pushed; they're being normal toddlers. Almost everyone is bothered by your reaction: your focus is on the wrong things.

Rugs1 · 02/02/2025 00:04

explain to your daughter about running away and trying to play with someone who doesn’t want to play.

don’t call the other child ‘nasty’. She was protecting her boundaries and her parents shouldn’t have to deal with that.

i have toddler twins and i wouldn’t let them run away or get in someone’s space like that, I don’t think they are perfect, so I tell them to walk and stay beside me, and I watch them carefully

DressOrSkirt · 02/02/2025 00:04

YABU
What do you have said? That you're child deserves to stomp on bounties?

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:03

The other child was allowed to run in the shop, the other child was allowed to push. But god forbid my child ran for all of 10 seconds

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:02

@hideawayforever agree! They are all trying to make it look like my daughter chased and then did something to be pushed. People need to get a grip

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:00

latetothefisting · 01/02/2025 23:56

"my daughter was being harmless"
how do you know when you were 'round the corner' when she caught up to the other girl? For all you know your dd could have pushed her first and you didn't see it!

And the parents were right there in that 2 seconds. So id like to hope if that did happen they'd of said because then pushing back and fourth is a small fight in my eyes

OP posts:
PrettyFox · 01/02/2025 23:58

It’s upsetting when something like this happen but it’s not unusual for children to push, hit, bite etc as a way of reacting to frustration, anger etc they are not ‘nasty”, children cope differently and also go through phases. We had similar situations with my son. It’s important to validate their feelings but also try to explain the other side - “yeah, it’s not nice to be pushed and she shouldn’t have done that, but think she got scared that you are a bit too close to her and she didn’t like that.” I don’t think this unusual behaviour unfortunately

Butchyrestingface · 01/02/2025 23:58

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:30

Pushing someone is nasty, I stand by that. It my child pushed someone I would also say that's a nasty thing to do

It's not 'nasty'. It would be if it was an adult doing the pushing but these are little kids who don't understand the finer points of social mores that frequently baffle the rest of us.

hideawayforever · 01/02/2025 23:56

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 23:46

@hideawayforever exactly this!! Making out my child is a monster and was hurting the child to give reason to push. I've been called a rubbish parent, I haven't been doing my job. Absolutely pathetic. Also presuming the other child was sen. What an odd thing to suggest.

I hold my hands up and I probably shouldn't of used the word nasty. But in that moment I thought what a nasty thing to do by pushing

if you'd have come on here saying you were the parent of the other child, they'd have piled on you saying what an awful parent you are that your child pushes a 2 year old, you can't win, they love to make people feel shit on here.

latetothefisting · 01/02/2025 23:56

"my daughter was being harmless"
how do you know when you were 'round the corner' when she caught up to the other girl? For all you know your dd could have pushed her first and you didn't see it!

WhenTheyComeForYou · 01/02/2025 23:55

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 23:49

The parents of this child did do something about it, so I don’t know what the point of your post is?

Show quote history

Saying “stop it “ isn’t enough. That should be obvious. An apology was in order.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 01/02/2025 23:53

Despite what many MN posters say (who will argue the sky is green so long as it contradicts or embarrasses a poster), of course the other little girl was unkind by pushing and shouting at your daughter.

The other parents should have either apologised or gotten their child to apologise. A 2 year old running alongside a child is clearly not a threatening act and whether the other child wanted to play or not, violence and unkindness isn’t acceptable.

Many children lack manners now OP, because their parents do. You see it all the time. YANBU but you’ll never make the nay sayers admit that.

dannyufcfan · 01/02/2025 23:53

Sounds like a complete non event that I wouldn't give second thought to.

Mamabear300 · 01/02/2025 23:51

It's really tricky OP I've got two girls one tween and one teen now but they are polar opposite. One when younger especially was extremely social ran up to anyone and everyone sort of thing and the other not so much she was more keep herself to herself however both my girls have additional needs / neurodiverse conditions, my eldest would of happily played alongside another random child, my younger may well of reacted the same and gone into melt down as she cannot cope with being approached by unknown people of any kind and also doesn't like being 'touched' by people she doesnt know / deems strange and if there is anychance she feels they may attempt to lets say tap her shoulder or hold her hand then let the meltdown begin. I'm not saying its right for one child to push another just giving abit of insight from this side of the fence. 🙂 X

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 23:49

Lighteningstrikes · 01/02/2025 23:44

Yadnbu
The little girl obviously takes after her parents.

I’ve witnessed 2x 3 year old boys kick and spit on a 1 year old (two different incidents), and the parents didn’t do anything about it.

It’s a sad world we live in 💐

The parents of this child did do something about it, so I don’t know what the point of your post is?

VisitationRights · 01/02/2025 23:46

YABU and way over the top

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 23:46

@hideawayforever exactly this!! Making out my child is a monster and was hurting the child to give reason to push. I've been called a rubbish parent, I haven't been doing my job. Absolutely pathetic. Also presuming the other child was sen. What an odd thing to suggest.

I hold my hands up and I probably shouldn't of used the word nasty. But in that moment I thought what a nasty thing to do by pushing

OP posts:
hideawayforever · 01/02/2025 23:45

Ifellgretta · 01/02/2025 21:32

To be honest I think you should have apologised to them for allowing your daughter to run after the other little , who clearly didn't want to play.

fkn ridiculous

purpleme12 · 01/02/2025 23:45

apart from the fact that the parents clearly did say something...