Wish I said something at the time

My DCs wouldn't have ever just joined someone running.

I would try and explain boundaries a bit to her, she didn't do anything wrong but you don't want her just running off at random.

...while the kid who pushes and screams at everyone else is I'm sure just a delight to have in the classroom. And I'm also sure that when the parents just shrug every one on here would accept that their child was the one to blame and reprimand them as such. Get over yourselves.

I'm a primary teacher and have to say that you are showing the signs of being the Mum we all dread.....

I'm not going to rein her up at every event unless she gives valid reason to

A valid reason like running off around a corner out of your sight in pursuit of a stranger she wanted to make friends with?

You describe her as wanting to make friends with a brick wall - combine the two things, running away and being friendly towards everybody whilst you also have a baby to take care of makes her a perfect example of exactly why reins are a good idea for safeguarding toddlers and preschoolers.

I don't believe you have. I've read all your posts and can't see where you've said what you believe you should have said at the time.

You haven't even been clear whether you mean something to the child or the parents.

Absolutely this and obv have parent bias. The other child may be ND for all you know.

It’s similar to how dog owners get angry when ppl get pissed off that their dog has bounded over and scared their kids - they assume everyone knows Rex is ‘soft as fuckin tripe - what’s their problem?!’

I hope you've woken up with a different perspective this morning.

Yesterday you came across as being THAT parent with a perfect, angel child. If you carry on with the same outlook that your daughter is a perfect victim who can do no wrong you won't be doing either of you any favours in the long run.

No, it's best not to say anything. I know it's frustrating to see one's child slighted or seemingly picked on by another child, but in your case you did the right thing by not saying anything. Although your DD had good intentions by running alongside, it's possible the other child felt chased or threatened in some way which is why she reacted like that.
I usually handle situations like that by talking it through with my DCs and say how unkind it was that's all - or if my DC seemed affected by it I'd role play what happened and again highlight how unkind the other child was and how behaving like that isn't ideal. However, for a 2-year-old she is likely not even going to remember what happened while you're still feeling from all of this. It's important not to project your own adult sensitivities on to your DD. Your role is to help her navigate feelings and the world around her, but it seems as though you're projecting an adult interaction and reaction on two very young children.

yeh its you.

You really need to start getting used to this. You can't control other people's kids. You can't even control your own kid 100% of the time (no one can). Sometimes things will happen. Sometimes your kid will be the innocent one, sometimes she won't. You need to learn how to deal with it all , teach her whatever lesson she needs to learn and move on without making a massive drama of it.

She will meet all kinds of children, some will actually be nasty and for longer than 20 seconds.

I think everyone knows who the actual "mean girl" is

There's nothing more tedious than other people's "sociable" children. It's like when people have dogs off lead and let them run up to other people saying "it's ok! He's friendly!"

Yeah well, I'm not. My children are ASD and have always hated being approached by random children trying to force them to play. Next time keep your child under control, problem solved.

@Shannon9955 I'd log off Mumsnet now and rest ASSURED that if the other parents post a thread on here saying 'our DD pushed a smaller child - we feel that was totally justified and no apology was due as she was just expressing her boundaries' they will get their asses handed to them by the exact same posters here saying that it's not OK to allow children to use force, even if they're annoyed.

You can't, and you won't, win. Some people just like to be superior and an anonymous forum is the perfect outlet for that.

"When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now"

Perhaps it's because that's what you said?

For all you know, your DD pushed first while you couldn’t see her.

my child is autistic. If your child got in his personal space he would find that very distressing, and might push her away. And no I wouldn’t apologise to you when your child was the one getting in his space.

In a few years OP will be wishing she understood the importance of encouraging her child from an early age to protect their boundaries by saying No when they are not comfortable with a situation, just like this child was doing.

I can't believe there is a full 10 page thread about such a complete none issue! (Yes I am aware I am contributing 😆).
I can't believe OP is thinking about this hours after the event, I can only assume she lives a very sheltered life with her child.

@Shannon9955 oh, I've been there too! I understand perfectly the sense of even sadness that your little child has been "mistreated". It's intense!
Now that I'm past the toddler phase, and my girl would be the one doing the pushing maybe 😬, I have some perspective on it.
I remember being in the park with my enthusiastic 2 year old, who was very interested in older kids, and thinking "who could not love her?!". But then when she grew up, I understood that all are phases.
Neither your sweet little one nor the other older girl were doing nothing wrong: they were being children.
As long as your toddler was fine (and I'm sure she was), you don't have to worry. You can say something like "oops, it seems this girl needs space/doesn't want to play now, let's go play ourselves" or something similar. And also say something like "best without pushing, because she is still little and just wanted to play" (or similar age appropiate thing to the other child, so that you also make it clear to your dd that it's not okay for her to be pushed!).

It's just horrible for a grown adult to call a little innocent child "nasty".

That child could have been overwhelmed, frightened being chased, have SEN. Pushing is not acceptable but they're far too young for that sort of emotional regulation.

You're making out the kid is a budding serial killer and the parents should have been profusely apologetic - that's nasty.

There maybe a parent somewhere wishing they’d dealt with a situation differently and asked their child to apologise, they did at least tell her off for pushing so aren’t entirely irresponsible. She maybe didn’t want to be raced/followed and lashed out. She shouldn’t have but sadly your daughter will learn that not everyone is sociable and wants to play. Hopefully she hasn’t let it upset her.

Sounds like both kids behaved- like kids. The child that pushed yours wasn’t ‘nasty’, any more than your child was ‘badly behaved for running off’. Kids get excited and run off, and kids will push other kids when they’re annoyed/upset- they haven’t anywhere near learnt to regulate their emotions yet, its many years of good parenting (plus them simply growing and developing) that will teach them how to do this. All sounds normal- except your reaction, calling this other child nasty, and dwelling on this all day. Fine to say to your child ‘You shouldn’t run off, and maybe that little girl didn’t want to play, but she shouldn’t have pushed you, I heard her mum/dad tell her that. Are you ok? Cool, let’s go and pay for this toy….’ Literally could have been the end of it.

Agreed, the parents should have not let their daughter run loose if they knew she was a mean girl (but then they probably wanted 5 mins away from her!)

Hey OP i haven't read all of the replies but I read the OP i completely understand, it's heartbreaking when you beautiful happy innocent child first gets a taste of bullying or mean behaviour, when she is a bit older you can begin to teach her that unfortunately about 50% of humans are bad and that's life (mumsnet is a shining example)

I can see why you felt a bit sad @Shannon9955. Your little DD was getting a special treat and excited. Then she ended up being pushed away.

But other little kids don’t always know how to be polite. Kids who aren’t used to younger kids can find them annoyingly babyish. I wouldn’t describe a young child as nasty. They’re just still learning how to behave. And her parents told her to stop. They perhaps should have apologised to your DD or you, but were maybe a bit embarrassed.

Does your DD go to nursery or anywhere without you? If so, she’ll be used to dealing with other kids. If not, she will soon enough. For a confident, friendly child as your DD seems to be, other kids being less friendly is water off a duck’s back.