To think the young are less interested in sex, relationships and children

Yes I always read similar on here but irl, vast majority of people I know are close to and rely on their family in some way. Ok, you see extended family at funerals and weddings...future generations will not even have that.

Moving in with a partner was the single stupidest thing I ever did.

Fortunately when we finally split up we were still renting & there were no kids involved, so it was a fairly easy clean break.

You don’t need to be related to the people you have in your life, though. I have loads of cousins. I never see any of them. DH’s mum is one of thirteen siblings, all but one with children, so he has something like 34 first cousins. He sees them at weddings and funerals. We’re both fond of our siblings but not close to them. It’s not a lack. We both have lots of close, longterm friendships.

Or maybe because it’s so easy to get sex via hookup sites these days that it’s lost its appeal.

I predict future generations will be very lonely....it's not just not having your own children. If your siblings, cousins, wider family also don't have children...then people won't have a wider, extended family. I know many people my age with multiple cousins...yet they have one child and their siblings have one child. Their future grand children will therefore only have a couple of cousins max.

This. It reminds me of growing up in the 80s. I was adamant that it would be cruel to bring children into such a terrible world, really sentencing them to something terrible. Reagan, Thatcher, wars famine drugs AIDs mad cow disease etc. it was irresponsible to have children in my opinion. I was born in 1969 for context. Of my friendship group of five all between 55 and sixty none of us have had children and we're all of the same mindset. The world feels very much like it was in the 80s and I guess certain young people feel like we did.

Broadly I agree with this and I think it’s great.

I was born in the early 70s and I hated the way girls of our generation were funneled into finding a man and that your inherent worth was so bound up in this.

Getting married or settling down young is so limiting, particularly for women and it’s great that young people today don’t universally see being a wife and mother as the be all and end all.

I think it’s really positive that they prioritize career over marriage.

Post-university, I don’t think I’ve ever been out with a group of women friends where any of us were routinely approached let alone pestered for dates by men. I remember feeling fairly cheated as a much younger woman, all those years of watching Sex and the City had given us a completely false impression that all we needed to do was sit in a bar and eligible bachelors would pick us out of the crowd and charm us with their wits 😂

Whereas in reality, men in groups at pubs and bars are out with their friends to socialise, not pick women up, as are women. Is it perhaps a smaller town thing where there aren’t that many organic opportunities to meet people other than the pubs in town and so they become a bit of a hunting ground?

Exactly...I think young people see someone matching with someone on an app as totally normal, but a man chatting you up in real life as being a weird thing to do.

My view is this is really damaging...it has created a generation of cowardly men with little charm, charisma or confidence to talk to women. Just sitting behind screens...it's cowardly and weak.

Does this not happen much anymore? I haven't been in a bar in years but you couldn't go 5 minutes without being chatted up/pestered by men (if out with other women). I'd still think it common that women on a night out would be chatted up, wanted or not, but are less receptive as they've got Tinder on speed dial and hundreds of matches.

I was watching a news report a year or so ago... about the dangers to young women from men...all very important I agree obviously. They were interviewing a youngish woman who was describing how she has been on nights out before and men she doesn't know have started talking to her...i mean, this is how we met our partners decades ago. The idea of being out in a club or bar and a man talking to you is totally normal to me...but I think the younger generation view it very differently. Obviously I'm not talking about pestering or creepy behaviour.

@Blue278 Tell them it’s easier to buy a property when there’s two of you in a relationship and earning money!!!

I think men didn't have porn as an outlet and didn't have all this stuff about consent and respect, not being too full on, following women around, forcing them to do things etc. Women know they don't have to do it now, more choices and freedom

Young women in the past could have children and be at the front of the housing list and get child/housing benefit. It was more incentivised. Less so with a housing crisis.

I mean look at how many threads of here where a poster will talk about an interaction with a friend, family member or colleague and the varied responses.

Young women - unlimited options on dating apps. The paradox of choice.

Young men - unlimited free pornography at the click of a button and for the good looking men unlimited options on dating apps. A lot of men unable to even get a match OLD either so the rise of incels as well.

@JLou08 your forgetting nuance and human nature, that's the complicated bit...Two people can witness the same event (nothing to do with sex) and have a different interpretation of what happened.

It's concerning that people working in the field find it so complicated. Just a simple 'is this okay?' can get consent without ruining the mood prior to and during sex. Are they participating? If not they don't want to do it. Sub/dom relationship then that needs detailed discussion and consent beforehand with a safe word. They say no/not in the mood/not sure/I don't like that then it's not consensual so stop and do not try again unless they initiate.

Yes it’s better than it was and is slowly getting there but nowhere near where it needs to be

Consent wasn't taught that way when I was young. It is now. Teenagers are taught to check for signs the person isn't happy. They are taught being coerced isn't consent.

@Kindling1970 my friend works in a similar area and would agree with you, we have had lots of discussions about it as we have similar aged dc.

I work with victims of sexual assault and consent is not straight forward and we need to stop teaching consent training like it is. For example that fucking cup of tea video. Women are often socialised to not make a fuss or cause trouble so may not feel ok saying no to sex they don’t want. We need to teach young men to look for the signs their sexual partner is uncomfortable/not in to what’s happening rather than wait for her to directly say no. I also work with perpetrators who you can tell didn’t realise what they were doing was wrong because we don’t teach consent in this way.

Consent isn't a minefield

Not sure I agree what that. How many times are you meant to ask, before every move? Reading some threads about it on here I do think I'm very glad I'm not young. I've never asked a man for consent before I kissed him
or touched him.

I think things are confusing for both sexes and there are a lot of mixed messages. One of my colleagues sons was sent some underwear pics from his sister's friend. They were all 17, son didn't know what to do as he wasn't interested but was scared of offending. Colleague told her son to report it to the safeguarding team which he did but it did lead to a bit of a fallout.

The young people I know are certainly into sex, most are in a relationship. With regard to having children most say they cant afford to or they're not interested because of quote: The horrible world we live in.

For many they are stuck in the endless loop of what I call the postponement of adulthood. Living at home, unable to afford to move out, or find a place to live, stuck in low paying hospitality, retail and distribution jobs. Contrary to what some politicians and others are saying most work their butts off, never knowing their hours/ shifts from week to week. Others are more lucky in that they have help from the bank of mum and dad, they are the exception though.

Apart from my jokey remark to them that at least they can swipe right for a shag, I'm glad I was 18 when I was (1980), because it's really tough for many young people out there.