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AIBU?

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Original poster

If you were meeting someone in a cafe and your baby was asleep…

190 replies

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:06

And the relative wanted a cuddle, would you get a sleeping baby out of the pram and risk waking them up for this- they’re in a bit of a phase of fighting daytime naps and rarely have a non contact nap, but the family member hasn’t seen baby in a few weeks and is sad about it

We have different opinions so I’d just be interested to know what the consensus is!

OP posts:
Noodge · 01/02/2025 16:56

Babies need more sleep than adults or older children, for a reason! No, I'd not wake them. And I've never even had a baby! Common sense surely. Relative can hold them next time.

heyhopotato · 01/02/2025 16:55

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:10

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

Show quote history

I'd turn up at their house in the middle of the night and get into bed with them asking for a cuddle.

WorkCleanRepeat · 01/02/2025 16:52

It depends how old the baby is for me. Under 3/4 months. I'd say just to lift them.

There isn't a hope I'd wake a sleeping 9 month old.

pastapeteliketoeat · 01/02/2025 16:50

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/02/2025 16:13

If they looked disappointed I would think fair enough and do nothing at all. If they asked "can I hold" I would say "Are you insane? She is sleeping."

This!!

No way. Wake a sleeping baby just so someone can have a go at holding them? No.

Baby is a human being, not a toy.

AxolotlEars · 01/02/2025 16:50

I would never pick up a baby, that wasn't my own, if they were asleep UNLESS the parent was happy with it. As an aside, and missing the point, I always woke my babies to feed them 🤣

coxesorangepippin · 01/02/2025 16:47

What Mike said

coxesorangepippin · 01/02/2025 16:47

No

Chance

MikeRafone · 01/02/2025 16:47

Never wake a sleeping baby, wait until the baby wakes and then after mum has sorted the baby and baby is awake - then a cuddle is permissible with mums consent

Decafflatteplease · 01/02/2025 16:46

As a mother of 4....no way! Enjoy the peace while little one sleeps!

GreylingsSkin · 01/02/2025 16:46

Is your relative my mother in law? She’d asked to hold the baby when they were sleeping, I’d say no, then she’d put her head over their crib and shriek and talk loudly on purpose so they’d wake up and it would completely fuck her sleep routine. Because of this she will never spend anytime alone with my daughter because I know she can’t put a child’s needs before her own wants.

Helpmebestylish · 01/02/2025 16:45

No. Not a chance would I move a sleeping baby in a pram unless it was essential.
They can be disappointed all they like. I take it the relative is an adult.
My ds would never sleep in the pram so on the rare occasion he did wherever I was would have to be on fire before I would move him.
I'm sure if you did move your baby and they woke and started screaming the place down baby would be handed back quick smart for you to settle.
Your relative will get over it. Plenty of opportunities for cuddles when baby is awake at another time

Endofyear · 01/02/2025 16:45

Absolutely not. If relative is disappointed, tough. You don't wake a sleeping baby!

Tarantella6 · 01/02/2025 16:44

Depends how old the baby is - under 3 months probably, they tend to stay asleep better while being transferred.

As you've said you're well out of that stage then no I wouldn't want a grumpy baby for the rest of the day. I'd explain it though, I'd say sorry it will just ruin the rest of the day I can't face 4 hours of whinging.

BitOutOfPractice · 01/02/2025 16:43

Never. Wake. A. Sleeping. Baby.

Never.

Don’t even risk it!

Thats the actual law!

Marchitectmummy · 01/02/2025 16:43

I would wake them up, 5 daughters and often did wake them up as needed to be honest. But they did all sleep through the might from quite young so maybe I was lucky.

Caterina99 · 01/02/2025 16:42

Definitely not! They can have a cuddle when baby wakes up, or possibly if you have to wake and feed baby before you leave because of timings and transport etc.

I’d absolutely wake my sleeping baby who was due a feed if I had a long journey home or other plans afterwards. Otherwise it’s the baby law that they wake up as soon as you leave the cafe and scream the entire time while you're trying to drive/get the bus home!

midnightblackcat · 01/02/2025 16:41

Embarrassinglyuseless · 01/02/2025 16:39

Now is a good time to flex your not-people-pleasing muscles - there’s going to be a long road ahead where you’ll need to get used to putting your children’s needs + welfare above the unanalysed feelings of friends and relations!

100% this!

Devilsmommy · 01/02/2025 16:41

Hell no! Never ever ever wake a sleeping baby. Especially for something as useless as a cuddle. It's really crappy to expect someone to do this

Londonrach1 · 01/02/2025 16:40

No....let sleeping babies sleep unless it's 4pm and they had 2 hours and you need them to sleep through the night and they sleeping longer than normal.....age dependant here...new born you never wake...baby coming up to being a toddler at 1 yes you do at 4pm if unusual and baby not unwell

pinkroses79 · 01/02/2025 16:39

No I wouldn't wake them or pick them up. None of my relatives would have expected me to. Even my closest relatives didn't see my son's eyes open for at least three weeks because he was always asleep in the day time.

Embarrassinglyuseless · 01/02/2025 16:39

Now is a good time to flex your not-people-pleasing muscles - there’s going to be a long road ahead where you’ll need to get used to putting your children’s needs + welfare above the unanalysed feelings of friends and relations!

category12 · 01/02/2025 16:38

"When she wakes up".

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 16:35

No

romdowa · 01/02/2025 16:34

jhar · 01/02/2025 16:30

Absolutely not.
My sister used to say "if you wake him you take him"

This was my saying too . I had a child who hated sleep and was a demon without it. If you woke him then he was yours !

TheVeryAudacity · 01/02/2025 16:33

Absolutely not in a million years. The relative will just have to deal with the disappointment like a grown up.