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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you were meeting someone in a cafe and your baby was asleep…

190 replies

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:06

And the relative wanted a cuddle, would you get a sleeping baby out of the pram and risk waking them up for this- they’re in a bit of a phase of fighting daytime naps and rarely have a non contact nap, but the family member hasn’t seen baby in a few weeks and is sad about it

We have different opinions so I’d just be interested to know what the consensus is!

OP posts:
godmum56 · 01/02/2025 17:59

Nope. Babies are not toys.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 01/02/2025 17:59

While I'd love to cuddle the baby, I wouldn't want them to wake up just for me. I'd prefer them to get their much-needed sleep. Relative is selfish.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 01/02/2025 17:57

Hwi · 01/02/2025 17:45

I would have not dragged my baby to a cafe to meet anyone. I met people on my own.

That's nice. So when exclusively breastfeeding shall I just be a pariah?!

AllEndeavour · 01/02/2025 17:56

I wish people wouldn't treat babies like toys. There is no difference between waking an adult so you can see them or waking a baby. Both would be terribly selfish.

CatCaretaker · 01/02/2025 17:55

Definitely would not wake baby. I gave a 'sleepy' newborn, but that sleeping is mostly in my arms. If she's sleeping somewhere else there is no way I'm waking her.

I would just tell relative outright, if they're disappointed so be it 🙄

Nanny0gg · 01/02/2025 17:48

Is it your mum?

healthybychristmas · 01/02/2025 17:48

No I would tell the relative to grow up! Just because they want to cuddle doesn't mean they can have a cuddle.

Hwi · 01/02/2025 17:45

I would have not dragged my baby to a cafe to meet anyone. I met people on my own.

Auldlang · 01/02/2025 17:43

hahahahaha NO.

Let sleeping babies lie.

MumWifeOther · 01/02/2025 17:43

Absolutely not!

OwlInTheOak · 01/02/2025 17:41

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:10

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

Show quote history

"He struggles with naps so would be grumpy for ages if I woke him, hopefully he wakes up before we leave and is in a good enough mood for a cuddle!" Then move onto a different topic

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 01/02/2025 17:39

Not a chance and said relative is a rude CF if they expect someone to wake a sleeping baby for their own selfish needs

BeaAndBen · 01/02/2025 17:39

Only an idiot wakes a sleeping baby deliberately. The person wanting to hold the baby waits until he/she wakes up, or learns to live with disappointment.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 17:38

Fuck no

When mine were little I was obsessed with their routine because it’s what kept me sane. Anyone trying to wake my sleeping baby would have been, by sheer maternal reflexes and therefore no fault of my own, roundhoused in the face.

Lilactimes · 01/02/2025 17:36

When they wake up - would never wake my baby for someone to cuddle her x

pizzaHeart · 01/02/2025 17:35

No.
Suggest they cuddle you?

JoyeuxNarwhal · 01/02/2025 17:34

Seriously though the answer to "can I hold?" is clearly, no, not at the moment, maybe when they wake if they're not grouchy.

avocadotofu · 01/02/2025 17:34

Absolutely not!!

JoyeuxNarwhal · 01/02/2025 17:33

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:10

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

Show quote history

I'd ask them if they'd like me to come and lift them out of their bed when they're sleeping Grin

EternalSunshine19 · 01/02/2025 17:32

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:10

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

Show quote history

Say "the baby is sleeping right now, but when she wakes up you can hold her".
If your baby doesn't wake up by the time you're leaving the cafe then tough! They can hold the baby next time.

Musicofthespiers · 01/02/2025 17:31

Definitely not.

Zone2NorthLondon · 01/02/2025 17:30

No
i would decline saying baby is asleep, maybe next time, thanks for understanding

Nonaynevernomore · 01/02/2025 17:24

Nope

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 01/02/2025 17:21

@parttimeworks no way! let sleeping babies sleep!

witmum · 01/02/2025 17:20

No. Is a full sentence.

Your job as mum is to support your babies growth and development and they do that by sleeping. Therefore never feel bad for advocating for your child 🥰