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AIBU?

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If you were meeting someone in a cafe and your baby was asleep…

190 replies

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:06

And the relative wanted a cuddle, would you get a sleeping baby out of the pram and risk waking them up for this- they’re in a bit of a phase of fighting daytime naps and rarely have a non contact nap, but the family member hasn’t seen baby in a few weeks and is sad about it

We have different opinions so I’d just be interested to know what the consensus is!

OP posts:
Dobbyismyabsolutefav · 01/02/2025 23:51

BitOutOfPractice · 01/02/2025 16:43

Never. Wake. A. Sleeping. Baby.

Never.

Don’t even risk it!

Thats the actual law!

This.

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 23:39

Also, what's this thing about people wanting to hold other people's babies??? Confused

Unless it's the grandmother, or maybe the auntie, why does anybody want to hold anybody else's baby? Just for the sake of holding it!!!

And even then there is not really any reason to hold it unless the mother wants you to hold it for a minute while she goes to the loo. Then again, put the baby in its pram or cot or pushchair...?

Also, I actually know a few people who've had babies in the last couple of years ... As soon as I step within 8 feet of them, they're like 'here batchcookbabe. You can hold her/him!' And they shove this 14 pound baby right in my arms for me to stand there holding him. I think like, 'errr I do not want to stand here holding your baby. Thanks very much.' I usually hold them for about two minutes and give them straight back. I think some people just want to offload the babies onto anyone who will hold them, to be honest with you

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 23:33

Of course it's not OK!

Ask that relative (who wants to wake up the baby and give it a 'cuddle,') how SHE would feel if someone woke her up at 3.00am, in the middle of a deep sleep, and demanded a cuddle?! Hmm

SOME people are such thundering arsehats!

lovemetomybones · 01/02/2025 23:19

Sleeping babies are like sleeping lions let them lie!

100PercentFaithful · 01/02/2025 23:13

I would let them have a cuddle but I wouldn’t wake the baby up. Just take the baby out whilst asleep.

Neighboursnumber1fan · 01/02/2025 23:13

No way would I have woken up my children if they had finally gone to sleep (neither of them liked to nap or go to sleep at all!) just because a relative/ anyone wanted a cuddle. I don’t know why people are so obsessed with cuddling babies or feel they have a right to disturb them for their own enjoyment

Copperoliverbear · 01/02/2025 23:12

100% no. X

PeloMom · 01/02/2025 23:12

The phase doesn’t matter. It’s a no

Normallynumb · 01/02/2025 23:07

Absolutely not.

EerieSalamander · 01/02/2025 22:46

No. Sleep is so important. Selfish if your relative insists.

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 22:22

Not a chance!

Person1234 · 01/02/2025 22:21

No no no!!!!

Rachmorr57 · 01/02/2025 22:10

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Rachmorr57 · 01/02/2025 22:08

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AnnaQuayInTheUk · 01/02/2025 21:51

No

MissTrip82 · 01/02/2025 21:49

Nope.

The extremely mild non-event disappointment will be easy for an adult to recover from.

Vaxtable · 01/02/2025 21:43

No

JollyViper · 01/02/2025 21:19

mondaytosunday · 01/02/2025 18:52

No. I can easily spend an hour and a half at a cafe so inevitable baby would wake at some point! But in this instance no.
No @JollyViper of course you can wake a baby. I often did if sleeping too long during the day. But that's not the case here.

General rule, I didn't say never.
Of course you can wake a sleeping baby.
Your baby your choice.
Pointless nitpicking.

C152 · 01/02/2025 19:34

parttimeworks · 01/02/2025 16:10

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

If it was just a look, I would ignore it. If they said something, I would say that my baby isn't a toy (if I was pissed off with them) or that my baby needs her sleep (if I were feeling more forgiving towards the relative).

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 01/02/2025 19:33

MagnoliaGirlie · 01/02/2025 19:16

In my books we never, never, never wake a sleeping baby!!! Exactly because I only seem to make bad sleepers, so when they finally fucking sleep, I do not wake them up for all the money in the world! (Sorry, I'm triggered, I'm in the thick of it rn, my baby wakes me up hourly at nights these days 😭😭😭)

I sympathise! I had two like this! Arghhhhh

ItWasnaMeGuv · 01/02/2025 19:30

NO! Any decent, respectful relative or friend would not even ask, but wait until baby woke. If baby didn't wake they'd say "never mind, next time".

Lottie6712 · 01/02/2025 19:29

No!!

Surroundedbyfools · 01/02/2025 19:27

No ! Absolutely not nor would I ever expect anyone to
wake their sleeping baby for my sake !

EdithBond · 01/02/2025 19:18

Let sleeping babies lie.

Arrange meet ups at times they’re likely to be awake.

MagnoliaGirlie · 01/02/2025 19:16

In my books we never, never, never wake a sleeping baby!!! Exactly because I only seem to make bad sleepers, so when they finally fucking sleep, I do not wake them up for all the money in the world! (Sorry, I'm triggered, I'm in the thick of it rn, my baby wakes me up hourly at nights these days 😭😭😭)