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AIBU?

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Annoyed at being told to drive safe

114 replies

Tillybud81 · 01/02/2025 14:50

So I've got a male freind who I've only known a few months, we message a bit but nothing more than freinds. I've just been away on a bit of a trip in my car to visit family and he's sent messages telling me to drive safe, asking if I've arrived safely, telling me about the state of the roads, etc. He checked in asking if I had a nice day, and if I was ok, I messaged him to say I had a lovely time visiting my family and I'm heading back now, all he said was 'drive safe please'

Now I don't know if he's a worrier (doesn't seem to be in person), or if he's just being nice but it's starting to grate on me. I hate being told to 'drive safe' or 'be safe' as if I'm just driving around like a lunatic all the time. My mum has always said similar to me whenever I went out, but thats different, mums worry. Plus I've known this man all of 5 minutes really, it just seems OTT

Anyway does if grate on anyone else being told to be careful/safe when just goin about normal daily life?

OP posts:
TheNewSchmoo · 01/02/2025 16:37

Christ on a bike. I say this to people all the time. I best check I am not unwittingly pissing off those I care about

NotOlive · 01/02/2025 16:35

If it were just one message, YABU
BUT multiple messages? YANBU

NotOlive · 01/02/2025 16:34

YANBU He sounds a bit over the top.

And I’d be more annoyed by the shit grammar - it’s drive safeLY ffs.

Tillybud81 · 01/02/2025 16:34

Ok not sure where people have the offence thing from, I didn't say I was offended by it! And certainly don't feel it's a man V woman/misogyny thing (people really will see that anywhere won't they) Just irritated that it was literally the only thing he said to me when I'd responded to him about my nice time with my family.

Just drive safe please! Then followed-up by have you made it safely back? He's not actually asked me anything about my time away.

If it was a message followed by have a safe journey back it wouldn't be half as bad IMO. I don't think I've quite conveyed the amount of times he's said to be safe, drive safe, are you Ok?

It's obviously just me then

OP posts:
Onlyvisiting · 01/02/2025 16:33

It's just a phrase. Like sleep tight or have fun. Just an expression of good will, not an instruction.
Now it does sound like he is maybe trying to more involved/closer in your life than you want, but that's a separate issus

merryhouse · 01/02/2025 16:30

If it were just the one, as a sign-off, then I'd agree with other posters

... but the fact that he's sent several messages about safety, road conditions etc suggests to me that he thinks OP is in particular need of them. More than he is.

And why would that be?

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/02/2025 15:50

When my DP is going on a long drive I always say "please don't die."

We think that's funny.

Disturbia81 · 01/02/2025 15:45

I always say it, absolutely nothing to do with driving ability, it's just one of lifes niceties

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 01/02/2025 15:41

Top dollar unreasonable behaviour from you OP.

It's just a kindly phrase, like saying "have a safe flight".

I drive a lot for work, and DH always says drive safely. I do the same when he has a long drove.

It's caring and thoughtful.

CurlewKate · 01/02/2025 15:41

@FrannyScraps "Fuck,.you can't say anything now without folk getting offended"

Well, you can, actually. Loads and loads of things.

Sparkletastic · 01/02/2025 15:38

He's into you and this is his clumsy way of showing it.

MagpiePi · 01/02/2025 15:36

saveforthat · 01/02/2025 15:06

I thought you were going to say it irritates you because he should say drive safely. He's just being nice but I would correct his grammar.

I was going to say this!

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 15:35

Chemenger · 01/02/2025 15:11

It’s just an every day phrase that people say without any underlying thought. Like “have a nice day” or “see you soon” or the all time Mumsnet one “you look well”, which I now know is code for “you’re as fat as a walrus”- except it really doesn’t.

Fat as a walrus! 😂 Made me LOL that did!

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 15:34

Yeah, YABVU. People just say this to be nice. Be safe/look after yourself/ watch out for crazy drivers/text me when you're back!

No underhanded misogyny as you are implying @Tillybud81

CC222 · 01/02/2025 15:33

I say it all the time to people I care about if we're chatting right before they're about to drive.. can't see what's wrong with it! It's not a criticism of your driving, it's just a thoughtful term in my opinion...

Fedupwithteenagers24 · 01/02/2025 15:32

People today seem unable to cope with any human interaction - what on Earth is offensive about his comments?

User67556 · 01/02/2025 15:31

He obviously likes you as more than a friend but hopefully he'll move on because you sound a bit mean.

Stinksmum · 01/02/2025 15:30

I think some people dig really hard to find something to be offended about.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 01/02/2025 15:25

YABU

Bye, drive like an absolute idiot, hope you fuck your tyre in a pothole.

Not quite got the same ring to it does it 😁

Thirteenblackcat · 01/02/2025 15:21

Ermm, he’s being nice?

BringOnFebBankHoliday · 01/02/2025 15:19

It's a perfectly normal thing to say, wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
Why does it annoy you so much?

BBQPete · 01/02/2025 15:17

rainbowunicorn · 01/02/2025 14:56

You probably couldn't be more unreasonable if you tried OP. I mean seriously he obviously cares. It's just a nice thing to say. You don't need to be offended at every little thing.

Yup. This

DrCoconut · 01/02/2025 15:12

@SmileEachDay I wondered that too. But in general, no someone saying drive safe(ly) is not a big deal.

Chemenger · 01/02/2025 15:11

It’s just an every day phrase that people say without any underlying thought. Like “have a nice day” or “see you soon” or the all time Mumsnet one “you look well”, which I now know is code for “you’re as fat as a walrus”- except it really doesn’t.

SmileEachDay · 01/02/2025 15:09

I think he fancies you, but that’s not what you asked 🤷🏻‍♀️

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