How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

Agree. It's surprising how much and how quickly thing like take-aways destroy your budget! Lots of people have 2 or 3 every week. Not saying they do, just that it's easy to spend lots on them without really realising.

So where is the money going?

OK, the car loans may be necessary but many people pay double that in rent plus double that in child care every month. At 40 hours a week at minimum wage, they should be making £900 a week between them. OK, that’s before tax / NI but they should easily be able to afford rent, bills and car loans and have money left over.

What are they spending on? Clothes? Takeaways? Nights Out?

I don’t love car payments, but I don’t hate the idea of them as cars are crazy expensive. My DH and I have a rule that no more than one car payment at a time. (We currently have none and haven’t for years). It means driving a car into the ground but with regular maintenance that takes a shockingly long time these days. Mine is in great shape and over 10 years old with no sign of giving up.

But if they were living with in-laws with no rent and no car loans they should have been saving over £1k per month compared to now. So couldn’t they have spent that money on cars if not being used for a deposit rather than taking out expensive loans?
You say both need cars for work but would it be possible to share a car and cycle or use public transport for the days each doesn’t have the car?

@AliceSpringsEverywhere i was using the estimated minimum wage income, early in the thread, not the invented breakdown of figures towards the end.

I think you need to sit down with them and go over their finances. 2 adults working should not be struggling to pay that level of rent

Is this not their responsibility? I am horrified at the cost of things though.

I was prepared to say YANBU because I’m drowning in bills right now, but £860 isn’t a lot for a double income, that doesn’t even get you a studio flat where I live. Did they not save money while living with in-laws? How can it not be affordable to them if they’re both working FT? Something isn’t adding up.

I was already to agree with you until you said two full time workers (even at minimum wage), no childcare and low rent they should easily be able to manage. Many have far less disposable income.
You said a half hour commute? How far is that? If their jobs are so badly paid it should be easy to find closer or ones that line up to allow only one car. I hated it but spent years taking DH to work for 7am and picking him up on my way home, so we could manage with just one. Other jobs DH cycled in anything but the worst weather, later getting an electric bike.

@Snowmanscarf Those are not the REAL figures.

A poster made them up.

She ought to ask for the post to be removed.

Car payments can be very high especially two in one household.
Buying second hand outright ended up being the better option for us. Saved us a small fortune .
They must have more outgoings then you are aware of

I’m also wondering what they are spending their money on, as in paper, if they were earning minimum wage, they shoujj k don’t be struggling that much. Not saying it’s easy - no luxurious holidays, but they should be able to cope.

I recommend the couple to download the MSE budget planner, to work out where their finances are going. It’s a horrible exercise to go, but necesssry if they’re not coping. Something is going wrong somewhere.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

I also don’t think they have any business buying at this point as they wouldn’t be able to afford or budget for the expenses they would be responsible for. Renting is the best thing for them.

I wonder how much they are paying for their car loans. Their rent isn't high between two people both working. They have no business trying to scrounge of relatives.

I think that their rent is pretty cheap. My partner and I are paying 1400 a month for a 2 bed, we’ve recently had a baby so we’ve decided to move into my father’s house and save for a deposit, it’s the best way. I think you should discuss with your daughter and her fiance that you need to slow down and it isn’t fair on you. As harsh as it sounds, they got themselves into the mess of renting and they need to get themselves out of it.

@Allthenameshavegone1972

I’m with the others… something isn’t adding up. Have you seen their actual budget and monthly spending? You would have a right to as you have a financial stake in the matter.

That really is the first step. Then everyone would be able to see what they are dealing with. If they are borrowing money for rent then something is very wrong with their budget. That should be one of the first things covered.

Your DD is not making sense anyway- even if they saved their rent and lived rent -free , how long would it take to save a deposit if they could save £800 a month?

How much house deposit is needed in your town for a 2-bed house or flat?

I'd hazard a guess at least £20K plus legal fees.

Something is very much amiss here.

No childcare costs, double income and struggling to pay rent?

I pay £900 rent a month alone on their joint income. There is plenty for food and bills (me and two children living here) after rent. Obviously I’m not living the high life but I’m not asking relatives to pay my rent either.

I’d be asking to go through their finances with them, including bank statements if necessary, before I parted with anymore cash. They’ve got comfortable with mummy and daddy bailing them out. There is no way they shouldn’t be able to pay their rent themselves.

They may not be expensive cars.

Even second hand car loads aren’t cheap now.

A close look at their finances will unquestionably reveal items that are 'luxuries" to the rest of us on a shoestring budget. Halve their rent and that is what a lot of people pay for one room in a house share. They need help with budgeting. Whatever you do, don't step in and sub them.

They didn' t have to buy cars on a lease. Or at least expensive cars.

Have you seen their income and outgoings?

What about mobile phone contracts? Netflix? Amazon Prime? Sky?

You're angry at being used but you don't appear to have had a proper conversation with them or offered to help them budget.

Yeah, they're pissing away money on something. That's not an unreasonable rent.

it seems like you dont have a full picture or they just have debts and live beyond their needs.
with no childcare cost, with rent of 900pm.. they should be able to pay for at least month to month living expenses without borrowing any money.

I don't have car payments but
I'm on min wage, paying back some debt and my mortgage/service charges are £600 so more than half their rent
I live alone. I can pay the bills. It doesn't allow for any savings, holidays etc but my mortgage, utilities etc are always paid