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Original poster

To not be surprised a 35 year old with a history of eating disorder would struggle to get pregnant (lily Collins)

231 replies

Waterweight · 01/02/2025 13:36

In regards to the news lily Collins has welcomed her first child via surrogacy & the whole issues surrounding surrogacy

A few people have questioned why another celebrity has gone down the route of surrogacy when they can afford fertility treatment/time off/therapy if unable to conceive

But surely at 35+ with a history of having an eating disorder she would be, to put it "lightly" basically barren ? & Viewed as such by any professional doctor who understands realistic fertility windows & health

Not saying she didn't/doesn't deserve children but where do you draw the line at the right to have kids versus the reality of some people being unable to ?

OP posts:
Elmo2025 · 01/02/2025 14:23

Are you from the 18th century? Barren? Get a grip because YABVU.
Imagine your life is so so sad you have to start a thread like this on a public platform. Eugh, I can only imagine the sort of keyboard warrior you are.

Spurber · 01/02/2025 14:23

put it "lightly" basically barren ? if that's putting it lightly I don't want to know how you put it heavily.

TheKeatingFive · 01/02/2025 14:21

Gingernaut · 01/02/2025 13:50

Everyone who says "No one held a gun to the surrogate's head" is being disingenuous

Times are hard, money is extremely tight and if the last thing a woman has to sell is her own body, then capitalism has won

This is human trafficking plain and simple

Edited

This

Flamingoknees · 01/02/2025 14:21

PP's comparison to puppies is a very good one.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:21

MrsPeregrine · 01/02/2025 13:44

I don’t think you should be so judgemental unless you have walked in the shoes of someone who can’t carry a baby naturally. And don’t give me the old “why not just adopt? Because it’s not the same.

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Your desire for a baby doesn’t trump the rights of children or the bodies and health of women

KimberleyClark · 01/02/2025 14:20

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:15

There’s never an excuse to borrow or hire a woman’s womb. I don’t care what she’s been through it’s disgusting behaviour.

My aunty had anorexia as a teenager for IIRC 6 years, she went on to have 5 pregnancies.

Barren is a hideous word.

It is. It originates from the days when a woman's sole contribution was seen as being a vessel for the man to plant his seed.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:19

MounjaroOnMyMind · 01/02/2025 14:04

What a horrible thread. She's a new mum and may well be on here. How do you think she'd feel if she read this?

She’s not a new mum. She paid someone else for that privilege

WeekendFreedom · 01/02/2025 14:19

Butchyrestingface · 01/02/2025 13:50

Fine. I don't like human trafficking, Which is what I think surrogacy is.

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In what way are they the same?

BlwyddynNewydd · 01/02/2025 14:19

Surrogacy is exploitative and I think it should be illegal.

As far as pregnancy post ED, I know of people who are age 35+ who have had successful pregnancies having had ED.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:18

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 01/02/2025 14:15

I get it overall, but for me the exception is close family. So for example if my sister wanted me to have a baby for her. Effectively surrogacy but no exploitation and totally my choice.

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The thing is surrogacy is so rarely done properly.

I know someone who was a surrogate for her sister. They did it about as well as anyone could. She went to antenatal allotments alone, made her own birth choices, gave birth on and because babies expect the woman who carried them when they’re born, she lived with them for 8 weeks and did a very gradual transition. And they’ve been honest with the son/nephew from the start about his origins, and he is close to his aunty. None of this nonsense celebrities where they hire a womb and then practically run away with the baby before the umbilical cord is even cut.

That example is the absolute exception. Even in altruistic surrogacy it has gone very very wrong. There is a podcast about stories of surrogacy gone wrong and it’s horrific

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:15

There’s never an excuse to borrow or hire a woman’s womb. I don’t care what she’s been through it’s disgusting behaviour.

My aunty had anorexia as a teenager for IIRC 6 years, she went on to have 5 pregnancies.

Barren is a hideous word.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 01/02/2025 14:15

IncaDove · 01/02/2025 13:41

barren? What a horrible description.

And using a surrogate, no matter the reason why, is exploitation of often vulnerable women.

I get it overall, but for me the exception is close family. So for example if my sister wanted me to have a baby for her. Effectively surrogacy but no exploitation and totally my choice.

MumblesParty · 01/02/2025 14:13

Re her health, it depends why she was using a surrogate. Some surrogates use their own eggs, and are artificially inseminated . Others would have the embryos (from someone else’s eggs) put in their uterus, as in IVF. Someone with an eating disorder can develop premature ovarian failure, meaning they would need to use donor eggs. But I can’t see a reason why they couldn’t gestate a baby themselves. But of course if they were using donor eggs, the success rate would be higher using a surrogate who was inseminated, rather than doing it in a test tube.

Grako · 01/02/2025 14:11

I don’t think you should be so judgemental unless you have walked in the shoes of someone who can’t carry a baby naturally. And don’t give me the old “why not just adopt? Because it’s not the same.

Infertility is no excuse for child trafficking.

Taigabread · 01/02/2025 14:11

I never know how I feel about surrogacy, because while I'd condemn the third world type surrogacy people talk about on here, if a close family member (eg sister) had struggled to carry a baby I'd have done it for them no question whatsoever. My body, my choice.
However I'd have felt happier if it was their eggs used and not mine as its a very different thing.

Upstartled · 01/02/2025 14:10

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 14:09

And the child’s actual mother? Treated as a living incubator.

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Don't you mean - empowered producer of commodity child?

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 14:09

crumblingschools · 01/02/2025 14:07

What about empathy for the child, treated as a commodity @AnyFucker

And the child’s actual mother? Treated as a living incubator.

Upstartled · 01/02/2025 14:09

The practice of surrogacy is morally repugnant. It rides roughshod through basic principles of a civilised society.

crumblingschools · 01/02/2025 14:07

What about empathy for the child, treated as a commodity @AnyFucker

GrowingSideways · 01/02/2025 14:07

RabbitsEatPancakes · 01/02/2025 14:06

Surrogacy is horrific.

Even if the woman agrees to it I think its horrifically cruel to the baby. Why start a life only to inflict the worst possible trauma on it at birth. Legally we don't remove puppies from their mothers why is it acceptable to do so to babies unless the absolute last resort.

No one has a right to have a baby.

Absolutely this. It’s awful.

Grako · 01/02/2025 14:07

No one had the right to have children, irrespective of their circumstances. Surrogacy is no less obscene when used by infertile people than when used by rich people who would prefer not to go through pregnancy and childbirth.

AnyFucker · 01/02/2025 14:06

Your cup of empathy is empty

RabbitsEatPancakes · 01/02/2025 14:06

Surrogacy is horrific.

Even if the woman agrees to it I think its horrifically cruel to the baby. Why start a life only to inflict the worst possible trauma on it at birth. Legally we don't remove puppies from their mothers why is it acceptable to do so to babies unless the absolute last resort.

No one has a right to have a baby.

GrowingSideways · 01/02/2025 14:06

Just another entitled celeb renting a womb and buying a child. Horrible. Surrogacy should be banned.

Blusterylimp · 01/02/2025 14:06

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/02/2025 14:04

YABVU to say that a 35 year old woman with a history of disordered eating is going to be "basically barren".

Exactly. OP seems to be suggesting that her ED was a lifestyle choice rather than a serious psychiatric illness.