To not be surprised a 35 year old with a history of eating disorder would struggle to get pregnant (lily Collins)

Everyone is thinking of the baby in a surrogacy!

The woman who wants a baby.
The woman who can carry the baby for someone else for "living expenses"

The baby is the end result, granted, it's all a bit transactional for some.

Nobody deserves children. nOt me, not you. But being able to have one yourself with your consent is entirely different to using the body of another person.

And actually there are so many well informed anti-surrogacy posters on MN who see a person desire to have “a baby of their own” does never ever tell the rights of another woman, her health or her life

That’s not how it works. A baby will know its mother’s voice. And sometimes its fathers. Visitors - no. Also, unless you see the parents very regularly it’s entirely inappropriate to always be hanging around your surrogate. They’re a human not a doll

I don't know who it is but I'm against surrogacy. It's human traficking and there are plenty of children to adopt/foster in the world.

Those of us against surrogacy are so because it’s not really informed consent and nobody thinks of the baby is these situations

Everyone on here bashing her is a moron who probably doesn’t know the first thing about surrogacy. You certainly don’t know the details of her surrogacy arrangement.

You could say it’s you bunch of judgemental women that ‘don’t deserve children’

But in a lot of surrogacy cases the parents will see the surrogate a lot and talk to the baby etc so the baby will know their voices ? And if they can regulate off a partners heartbeat too then they can if they’ve seen the intended parents with their hb as well?

Not sure I whole heartedly agree with that,

But if a woman wants to be a surrogate, that's up to her and this whole thread is just awful.

Babies will root on anyone who cuddles them if they are hungry

Why do you care OP? Bit bitchy TBH.

Adoption is a necessity, the removal of a baby from its mother in the case of adoption is a necessary evil.

JFC

Even bottle fed babies are born expecting to feed from a breast. It did you expect a newborn to say “I heard the convo about bottle feeding so I won’t be looking for a breast”

No it’s not my opinion at all 😂😂 this is very well researched

Did you actually think babies were born knowing their family set up??

Ive never said adopted parents can’t bond with children. But removing a child from a mother who can’t take care of it is 100% still traumatic for a baby and mother - but it is the lesser of two evils

But a lot of babies are bottle fed and they are fine ?

WTAF???

what gives you the right to comment or even start a thread on this?

Her medical/mental health past is actually none of your business!

If a woman wants to be a surrogate, it's none of your business!!

Such a horrid thread.

Yes there is evidence on the effects of separating newborns from their birth mothers...
Tons of it unfortunately due to babies having been separated from their birth mothers over centuries

Same as adoption then, no?

Your argument is reductive. You've based it on nothing, no evidence, just your own opinion. It also wilfully ignores the bond between adopted adults and their parents, and the fact many biological mothers are incompetent.

I have to say I'm surprised at the percentage figures in that study for 40-45 yr olds - as the highest I'd read to date for around 40 was 44% risk within a year (dropping off over 42).
Obviously miscarriage risk rises over 40 too.

However we're not even discussing over 40s here. Rather 35 yr olds.

Of course a baby thinks!! Babies are born instinctively knowing their mother, instinctively knowing to feed from a breast. Which is why they root when their mother cuddles them.

How on earth is a fetus or newborn supposed to know what its genetic link is? Adults don’t even know their genetic link unless they’re told or they’re tested. Fetuses and newborns only understand the environment they grew and were born in including the voice of the woman carrying them (their mum)

30+ year old mothers are not getting pregnant within 2 years & delivering every baby they conceive healthily/naturally..

See chart below.

The average miscarriage probability for women 20 to 34 is 10-15%.

The average miscarriage probability for women 35 to 39 is 20-25%.

If LC could not conceive and carry full term, it was not because she's 35.

As for "every baby" .... Twenty-something's don't deliver every baby they conceive, I know early twenty-something's who've had miscarriages, so why would women older than twenty somethings?

"And don’t give me the old why not just adopt? Because it’s not the same."

As someone who was adopted, that is really fucking offensive and I'm sure my mum would agree. Views like yours are so small minded. A mother is a mother however her baby comes to her and I know for a fact my mum loves me as if she had given birth to me.

But a baby doesn’t think at all. They feel and they need to feel warm and loved and fed so surely that would override anything else ?

What if the surrogate has no genetic link and it was an embryo from the couple who needed a surrogate then the baby would be fine with its biological true mother not the woman who carried and gave birth?