To feel like a failure for leaving the Civil Service?

Having a experience in both areas. I would say do what is best for your current situation. Life is short and no one knows tomorrow. So if you want to explore other options, gain more experience, earn more money go try out the private sector. If you want to come back to CS after sometime when your circumstance change and you want more flexibility you can always apply back to CS. The sky is the limit, don't let expectations for the future limit your present decisions. The private sector also offer decent pension 10-15%. So either way u will get some kind of person when the time comes. Most people will get they large pension and only enjoy it for 5-10yrs max, some may not even get to enjoy it at all. So don't stay in a job for a pension, get a job u like doing, build your financial flexibility, get a house, car, save for you kids schooling, think of the near to medium term. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Do what's best for you and listen to your gut. If you are young this is the time to explore. No matter what job u go to u will be getting something for retirement, so don't let the % limit you.

I don't know how you've got the impression that it's not the done thing to leave the civil service, retention is awful because the pay is so bad.

Which leads to stress is due to constant shortages and having to train New people all the time, who then leave because they've got a better job elsewhere.

Then there's the people who see their sick pay as an allowance that's there to be used.

It depends. If it’s making you really ill then leave. However, approaching my 50’s I’m very grateful for a fantastic pension with early retirement a possibility. Some of my friends have little or no pension & have no choice but to work until 70+.

Are there any EOI opportunities you could apply for? Or any temporary roles? These tend to be filled quickly.
Even within my agency there are EO grade roles that are much much harder than others (line manage 10 remote workers).
On the other hand where I work now everyone, even SCS work very hard.

One of the great benefits of the CS is the working conditions (sick pay, EAP, supportive management structure - in theory at least). Have you reported the stress as an accident at work, talked to your line manager, spoken to Occupational Health, explored possible adjustments to your role? I'd be tempted to do all these things. - doesn't stop you looking for external roles too. A few tweaks and the job may be perfect for you.

If you really hate your CS job it's not worth it making you ill. A working life is usually 40 years. Too long to do something you don't enjoy. There's the old saying if you do something you love it won't feel like you are working a day in your life. Think about what you'd enjoy doing and what your skills are then apply for those jobs. You'll get one eventually. Don't give up your CS job until you set another job and keep your attendance good as new jobs often ask how many sick days have been taken. I was a teacher and even with the huge workloads I loved my job. I loved seeing kids develop and get the grades they needed to enable them to follow their dreams. I also knew many teachers who hated their job and were literally counting down the years and days until they could retire.

I've been an EO for 25 years, in various roles, and in that time I've seen people of all grades leaving the CS. Some come back again and one person I know has come back twice!
I can't say I've ever thought (or heard anyone else say) they were crazy to leave. Everyone has different circumstances and move jobs to suit their lifestyle and needs.
Do what's right for you!

There was someone on here last year that figured out promotion was more achievable by dipping in and out. It really worked for her. Public/private/public/private/public.

She jumped through the loops at record speed.

I left a HEO job because I was bullied out of it. Long story, not for here. Made me a much stronger person and I don't regret leaving one little bit.

It can be an incredibly toxic work environment, I have a friend who is still there and the toll it's taking on her is not worth it.

You only live once and money isn't everything! People thought I was mad to leave too, but I valued my health over the pension that I may or may not live long enough to get!

Best of luck OP.

Who did you email exactly?

Public sector pensions are just used as a decoy to make you feel better about getting underpaid for life compared to what you'd get in a private sector job.

With a private sector job I get the money guaranteed now and can choose to put more in private pensions or investments if I don't like my employer's match rate. Plus I choose how much goes in and where it goes. If I need more money one month for my own costs I can control that.

My FIL worked hard for a pension all his life and died a year before he could claim anything anything.

You haven't said your age. Are you close to retirement? Or have you plenty of years to top up your pension. I was listening to a podcast on the science of quitting. And when you know you have to leave, then you need to leave. Your own wellbeing is always the priority.

I’ve just joined the CS and one of the perks (imo) is the sick pay.. I’d make the most of it if I were you and keep an eye out for new jobs while off.

I left the CS a few years ago. Life's too short to stay in a job that makes you ill. There's no guarantee about the next day let alone many years down the line.

It was really hard to take that step at the time. I lost a lot of sleep over it. However, after I left I was able to earn more money in a job that gave me more flexibility than what I had at the CS which meant I could then get a mortgage which i wanted. I was fed up of renting.

Everyone talks about flexibility in the CS, but I was put on a warning because I had used all my annual leave for looking after young children who were off school sick.

You won't get these years of your life back, even if you make it to pension age, so don't fill them with stress and hardships. Make your life as easy for yourself as you can now. Noone has seen tomorrow.

What is particularly stressful about your current role OP?

Keep looking at Civil Service jobs. You could well find something more suited to you in another department. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.I did that once when I was much younger and I ended in a much much worse chaotic and traumatic situation. It damaged my mental health and limited my earning power and confidence for some time.

It did all work out in the end over the years, and I now have a good CS pension and excellent work life balance. But I would have counselled my younger self not to leave as hastily as I did.

Maybe you have older friends or relatives who have been through similar.

I left and enjoyed working in the private sector for a few years. Few years down the line, life changes meant I appreciated the benefits of the CS more , and what I found frustrating when I was younger, I'm able to tolerate better now im older because I need the flexibility of working hours more now and the generous policies. I have serious health conditions for example.

But at some point I may leave again when it no longer suits me. I agree with the pp who said you can't stick out a job you dislike for a pension you may never see etc. But equally just because you leave doesn't mean you can't go back in future.

My pension would have been looking pretty good if I hadn't left, because I joined in my early 20s so would be set for 40 years of contributions. But I don't regret having the time out.

So follow up. Again. And again until you get a response. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Talk to your GP if the stress is that bad. Get a referral to Occupational Health and have them recommend a managed move or similar. Sending two emails is not going to resolve this for you.

How about applying for a HEO role then?

That's not to say you shouldn't leave if you are unhappy, but explore all the options first as it might be difficult to get back in and the corporate and even the charity sector is fairly cut throat quite now.

You’re not a failure. And you can always come back in the future if you find the right job!

On the pension front, it depends on your age. I joined the CS later in life with a bad pension pot, and I know I would be mad to leave at this point. I’m also staying for the flexibility as PP have mentioned.

If there are AO roles in your department and the stress is affecting your health, you could ask your head of unit (DD?) to ask the HR business partner about the possibility of regrading you to AO on compassionate grounds?