To call in sick after this happened

Don’t go back or look for another job take leave for mental health reasons !!
you have shown 20’yeats of loyalty and they won’t allow a day of this is not somewhere I’d ever work or show any loyalty from here going forward !!! Big hugs be brace and do what u want they don’t own u remember that !! ❤️

They can't say anything if you say you're sick for a day. They literally have no power to do anything, it would look incredibly unreasonable of them for one day.

I had a situation happen where I asked for annual leave and was told no. I ended up with back pain so bad I couldn't get out of bed on the same day I'd asked for and knew it would look like I was faking it but there was nothing I could do, I literally couldn't get down the stairs let alone go to work. Nothing happened.

Can’t believe posters are saying get signed off sick! No wonder people can’t get GP appointments and the Uk is seen as workshy . As others have suggested there’s a way around this without clogging up the NHS .

This. Don't 'ask', just 'tell': you're taking the day off. Job done!

I’d call in sick and I’d be honest and say the issue was extreme anxiety and distress effecting mental health at not being able to attend the funeral of a much loved friend. I wouldn’t fake an illness as that could get you in trouble if it were to come to light but if you’re honest about it being mental health related I can’t see how they can dispute it.

This is so heartless OP. What type of work do you do? Would you be easily replaceable if you threatened to leave?

get signed off by Dr's for a couple weeks xx

They sound like unreasonable employers. You have given them various options in terms of making up the time and training, but they are sticking rigidly to their policy and not seeing the wider picture - you are a longstanding employee and deserve some flexibility IMO.

If you don't mind risking the consequences, then calling in sick seems like a reasonable step in this situation. Personally, I'd be looking for another job.

Take a few days off with stress because of the bereavement and go. You aren't housebound when you're off ill. The barriers you are up against now is causing unnecessary anguish so it seems reasonable to me.

Agree with those saying you should be honest but immovable.

Email boss/line manager along the lines of:

Dear XXX

As you know, I have been trying to arrange leave to attend the funeral of someone extremely close to me. Non-attendance is not an option and would be deeply upsetting for me - both in the immediate and long term sense.

Despite my offer to do XXXX and XXXX, I have hit walls because of XXXX.

As a long term and trusted employee who has no intention of trying to 'call in sick' or find an unethical way to attend, I am informing you that I am going to be out of office and hope you will find a way to cover me on XXX date. I am happy to take this as annual leave or unpaid leave.

Regards
XXXX

I would tell them I will be attending the funeral. Non negotiable. And I think I would be tempted to iterate that missing the change to say goodbye to a close friend will have a large impact on your mental health and let them consider how much more time you might miss if you aren't allowed to grieve in a normal cultural manner.

You've offered multiple alternative times to do the course. They'll figure it out. I wouldn't ring in sick, I'd simply explain you won't be in as you'll be attending the funeral.

The worst they could do is investigate you based on unauthorised absence. For one day. In twenty years service. Nothing will happen.

Inform your work that, as you are a long term trusted employee who hardly takes a sick day, you will be taking unpaid leave for the duration of your good friend's funeral. You assume that they will accept this with good grace.
The date is XXXX from XXX o'clock until XXX o'clock.

You are extremely stressed after the bereavement and have been struggling to hold it together. GP will sign you off for two weeks. Work would replace you in a heartbeat, this is important

Don’t go sick they will know it’s a lie

Ask them for annual leave or an unpaid day off

Tell your doctor that the death has triggered a depression and get them to write you off for a few days.

I'm not generally someone to advocate playing the system, but in this instance, to avoid disciplinary action, I think I'd ask the GP to sign me off sick for a period that encompasses the funeral date.

It's sad when companies don't understand the need for give and take (and the associated goodwill and loyalty they'll gain as a result).

I agree with this.

I'm so sorry they are treating you like this.

Start looking for a new job. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I once worked with someone who was refused leave to attend a close relatives wedding, so went sick on that day.

Management were livid and a senior manager came in especially to do the return to work interview. Before my colleague came in the manager was ranting about how angry she was.

My lovely colleague played a blinder though. When she turned up she breezily told us all how lucky it was her leave had been refused for that day, as she spent the whole day and night on the loo. Her breeziness disarmed angry manager, as there was absolutely no response to that.

After that, I didn't think twice about calling in sick for important occasions, rather than ask for holiday leave. We didn't get paid for any sick leave, and colleagues were always desperate for extra shifts and would always pick up the shift, so didn't feel guilty about it.

Can you take the day as special leave, unpaid?

I wouldn't go off sick. I would tell your line manager that you are attending the funeral and it's non-negotiable. You will take the day as annual leave or unpaid leave, but you are going. This is a close personal friend and you need to pay your respects and say your goodbyes respectfully.

Condolences on your loss.

Take as AL?

20 years employment and they won’t allow you a day off to attend a funeral? I wouldn’t want to work for them and they don’t value you.

You can call in sick and they can't call you a liar and take you to a disciplinary.

You just say you are suffering with bad mental health on that day due to a bereavement and won't be able to come in. It's not really untrue and they have no right to question it. Especially if you have had hardly any sick.