Page 17 | Would you hire a morbidly obese Nanny?

whompingwillo · 2025-02-01T11:50:08+00:00

I would like to hire someone we’ve met for my 9 month old baby. She’s fab, great with kids, lovely, I have no concerns. I would estimate her BMI is 50-60 and my husband noticed that it is a struggle for her to get up and down off the floor and he is worried that if baby was in danger she may struggle. So what would you do? Do you think that weight could impact a job like this? I’m sure people of this weight have their own children and are safe to look after them? YABU - morbid obesity could impact her ability to do this job YANBU - she’ll be fine

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 13:30

LadyKenya · 01/02/2025 13:28

Some of these comments are just being unkind now.

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The vast, vast majority are unkind. The earlier ones just tried to disguise it as concern for OP's poor toddler.

Though later comments apparently think this woman is about to crush the child to death

PensionQ · 01/02/2025 13:30

CornishPorsche · 01/02/2025 11:55

Are you sure about BMI 50-60? Assuming she's the national average height for a woman in the UK of 5'3" she'd be around 17 - 20 stone?

It would be more like 20 - 24 stone to have a bmi of 50 - 60 at 5’3”.

I wouldn’t hire the nanny as I’d want them to be capable of running around with/after them in years to come.

LadyKenya · 01/02/2025 13:30

Plastictrees · 01/02/2025 13:26

Obesity is not a mental health condition.

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Of course it can be linked to mental health in some cases!

Abouttimer · 01/02/2025 13:29

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 12:21

I would, but then I know plenty of people of that kind of size and none of them struggle in the way PP's seem to think they do.

Right. There seem to be a lot of assumptions and stereotyping - and absolute masterclass in why fat prejudice exists in the workplace. And maybe, just maybe, she won't need to continuously run after your child who's heading for a road because she might actually teach them to be safe and not do it?

If she's been a nanny before and this is her job I'm sure she's navigated all the tricks in the book.

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 13:28

OCDmama · 01/02/2025 13:26

We're talking morbidly obese, not just overweight. That takes a heck of a lot of sustained eating to even maintain.

The poster is correct - you don't get that from medication or conditions. You become morbidly obese because you have an addiction - which needs to be treated with the same respect, seriousness and compassion as any other addiction.

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You absolutely can get that way from medication

Steroids are one, anti-depressants are another. There's also medication for migraines, seizures, hormone disorders and many more.

People don't like to think weight gain can be affected by anything other than food, though - I guess it's easier to feel morally superior that way.

cunoyerjudowel · 01/02/2025 13:28

Also i would not hire someone with an obvious eating disorder such as anorexia to be a nanny or someone with a drug or alcohol dependency -nothing against them but i need their focus to be on the child and when someone is in the midst of addiction / mhealth crisis it is very difficult to look after small children

LadyKenya · 01/02/2025 13:28

cunoyerjudowel · 01/02/2025 13:24

I would not- obesity is an eating disorder - I would not hire someone with an obvious mental health illness to look after my child

Also the limited physical capability would be unacceptable- if you child needs carrying could she do it? Could she bend down easily to help or sprint across the room?

Also think the wear and tear on your furniture

Some of these comments are just being unkind now.

SamPoodle123 · 01/02/2025 13:26

NonplasticBertrand · 01/02/2025 13:18

You are making an awful lot of assumptions. My daughter learnt her disordered style of eating from slender friends with major issues with food. I don't think you can make sound judgments about anyone's relationship to food by appearance. You literally do not know what conditions they may have or what happens behind closed doors.

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You can learn bad habits from anyone. I would not hire someone who is extremely thin either (I am talking about skin and bones and not just thin). The reason why is also for the safety of the child. If someone is suffering from an eating disorder, they can faint or not be strong enough to carry a baby, not have enough energy to keep up. It is not a desk job, it is a job that requires someone fit enough to look after a baby/child. Therefore, I would expect the person to be in decent shape to be able to keep up (not be out of breath if they walk up stairs or have to run after a child). If they are not in good health, I would not risk it for watching a child. It is different to hire someone like this to do a desk job or cleaning the house etc. Safety of the child is the main point. But also habits too.

MiddleAgedDread · 01/02/2025 13:26

Absolutely not

OCDmama · 01/02/2025 13:26

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 13:18

You're either delusional or taking the piss. Not sure which is better, tbh.

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We're talking morbidly obese, not just overweight. That takes a heck of a lot of sustained eating to even maintain.

The poster is correct - you don't get that from medication or conditions. You become morbidly obese because you have an addiction - which needs to be treated with the same respect, seriousness and compassion as any other addiction.

Plastictrees · 01/02/2025 13:26

cunoyerjudowel · 01/02/2025 13:24

I would not- obesity is an eating disorder - I would not hire someone with an obvious mental health illness to look after my child

Also the limited physical capability would be unacceptable- if you child needs carrying could she do it? Could she bend down easily to help or sprint across the room?

Also think the wear and tear on your furniture

Obesity is not a mental health condition.

Starseeking · 01/02/2025 13:26

No of course not, she won't be able to keep up with your DC once they start walking and running.

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 13:25

Ilovecakey · 01/02/2025 13:22

They are not being nasty they are saying whether they think she would be suitable to be in the role of a nanny to a young baby/toddler. Most people agree she wouldn't be as its very unlikely she would be able to run after them or take them for long walks. Now I'm sure most parents would put their children's health and safety over hurting someone's feelings.

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People are being nasty.

This woman has been called disgusting, gluttonous, lazy - people have said she's at risk of a heart attack at work, and have said she'd be a bad influence on OP's child because of her size and "poor diet".

Dressing something up as concern doesn't make it any kinder.

Plastictrees · 01/02/2025 13:25

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You are the definition of fat phobic.

Do you also think homophobia means people are scared of gay people?

hangon99 · 01/02/2025 13:25

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cunoyerjudowel · 01/02/2025 13:24

I would not- obesity is an eating disorder - I would not hire someone with an obvious mental health illness to look after my child

Also the limited physical capability would be unacceptable- if you child needs carrying could she do it? Could she bend down easily to help or sprint across the room?

Also think the wear and tear on your furniture

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 13:23

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😱 bit much

Lentilweaver · 01/02/2025 13:23

I also wonder if it is a goady thread.

OCDmama · 01/02/2025 13:23

CarliLove35 · 01/02/2025 12:20

How do you know she isn't tackling her obesity? She may have signed up for Mounjaro injections, Slimming World or a VLCD plan. Her obesity might be related to treatment for a health issue.

I work in the NHS with some overweight care staff, and they are the most compassionate and loving people you could hope to meet. Their weight does not affect their ability to do their job, and most of them are actively trying to reduce weight and follow a healthy lifestyle.

Don't write off a potentially brilliant nanny because she's fat.

OP makes it clear that the potential nanny's ability to do her job is impacted by her weight though. She said she was struggling to get off the floor.

Why should OP hire someone even if they are 'tackling' their weight? She has to judge whether this woman is fit enough for the role now and clearly she's not. Read the post again - OP said the nanny is lovely in every way, but her morbid obesity (we're not just talking 'overweight') is a problem.

hangon99 · 01/02/2025 13:22

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SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 13:22

TheWorminLabyrinth · 01/02/2025 13:16

I dropped 7 stone. I am less fit now than I was at my start weight of 17 stone 2lbs.

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How so?

Plastictrees · 01/02/2025 13:22

This seems like a very goady thread. So many threads recently all based on weight shaming, the large salad brigade out in full force on their high horses. Don’t people have anything better to do? Tragic.

Ilovecakey · 01/02/2025 13:22

biscuitsandbooks · 01/02/2025 13:18

And so what if they are? Doesn't mean they deserve all this nastiness.

MN is just full of fat-phobic bullies.

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They are not being nasty they are saying whether they think she would be suitable to be in the role of a nanny to a young baby/toddler. Most people agree she wouldn't be as its very unlikely she would be able to run after them or take them for long walks. Now I'm sure most parents would put their children's health and safety over hurting someone's feelings.

hangon99 · 01/02/2025 13:21

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SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 13:19

UbiquitousObjects · 01/02/2025 13:16

There's also an AWFUL lot of denial on this thread. The 'I'm morbidly obese and I'm as fit as a fiddle' brigade.

No. No, you're not.

You likely don't even realise just how much your weight is impacting you. I didn't, when I was obese. I didn't realise until I lost the weight because WHEN you're obese, the way you are is just your normal. You think you climb stairs quickly. You think you have no mobility compromises. You drop 5 stone and you absolutely realise just how wrong you were.

Can I just say to @MzHz and @UbiquitousObjects congrats on losing the weight, we all know it’s bloody hard work to do so 👏