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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you hire a morbidly obese Nanny?

606 replies

whompingwillo · 01/02/2025 11:50

I would like to hire someone we’ve met for my 9 month old baby. She’s fab, great with kids, lovely, I have no concerns.

I would estimate her BMI is 50-60 and my husband noticed that it is a struggle for her to get up and down off the floor and he is worried that if baby was in danger she may struggle.

So what would you do? Do you think that weight could impact a job like this? I’m sure people of this weight have their own children and are safe to look after them?

YABU - morbid obesity could impact her ability to do this job

YANBU - she’ll be fine

OP posts:
SirQuintusAurelius · 01/02/2025 16:09

If she is lovely and you get on with her and otherwise she's good, I would hire her. Your child is 9 months old so at the moment running after someone is not an issue.

Having someone in your home has two parts to it - one is are they good at the job and the second is do you get on with them/feel relaxed around them/do not rub you up the wrong way.

It's very hard to find available people with both of these things.

Stuff happens. Things change. In 12 months time, anyone - even the marathon running perfect Mary Poppins nanny- may not want the job any more and leave for a million reasons - decides to retrain in a different job, relative becomes ill, meets perfect man who lives in the Orkneys and moving to be with him. In 12 months time, things may be different for you too - you just never know. This woman may also lose weight in that time.

I think it would be daft to pass up a good employee for this reason.

Fat, obese and overweight people do manage to look after themselves for the most part and at this point, I'd give it a go. As with any employee or person working for you, you definitely want a trial period before you commit to a long term contract anyway.

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 16:07

No. For me a physically unfit person in charge of my kid isn't going to work.

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 16:01

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:50

From observation, yes.

They eat the same when at employers, not outside of there. I used to be a nanny and many had terrible diets. Bags of chips for tea bought after leaving their employers home.

NameChangedOfc · 01/02/2025 15:52

Shutupyoutart · 01/02/2025 15:21

wow such a depressing read this thread is.

Indeed

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:50

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 15:29

@Ethylred Do you really think all nannies feed kids the same as they eat? Lots of nannies will have terrible diets. They feed children what the parents want them to be fed.

From observation, yes.

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:49

NonplasticBertrand · 01/02/2025 15:37

Dear God. The ignorance.

Ignorance of what? What is it that I do not know?

NonplasticBertrand · 01/02/2025 15:37

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:28

She will feed the same garbage to your child as to herself. Avoid.

Dear God. The ignorance.

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:33

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:28

She will feed the same garbage to your child as to herself. Avoid.

And you know how she eats garbage how?

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 15:31

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 15:26

I struggle to get off the floor. I have a bad back.

Well I wouldn’t hire you as a nanny either.

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:31

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 15:24

Yes she’ll cook what the parents want the children to eat but the children will still see her tucking into her food/snacks or not moving much and children are influenced by the people looking after them so will seek to copy her. (But of course this nanny only eats salad and goes for a 5k run every day so I’m being unreasonable).

She struggled to get up off the floor ffs.

Edited

And what if she eats the same as the children, or extremely healthily? My size 6 friend struggles to get off the floor so it's not about being a fat bastard really is it?
I will say it again this thread is an excuse to slag off fatties!

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 15:29

@Ethylred Do you really think all nannies feed kids the same as they eat? Lots of nannies will have terrible diets. They feed children what the parents want them to be fed.

Ethylred · 01/02/2025 15:28

She will feed the same garbage to your child as to herself. Avoid.

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:27

NovemberMorn · 01/02/2025 15:18

Well you could apply that argument to anyone and everyone on here lying.
Yes?

Eggs fucking zactly, this thread is just an excuse to fat bash!

Bonjovispyjamas · 01/02/2025 15:26

Funny, speaking as an overweight nanny, the kids I look after only eat proper healthy, homemade food the days I'm there that I make from scratch. The mum literally only feeds them crap like fish fingers and chicken nuggets and she burns those. Believe it or not, even overweight people can cook.

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 15:26

I struggle to get off the floor. I have a bad back.

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 15:24

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:15

That isn't what I meant and you know it, don't be obtuse! And no if you are taking care of someone else children as a nanny you cook what the parents want the child to eat.
Also again just because you are obese doesn't mean you are eating unhealthy food all day every day.

Yes she’ll cook what the parents want the children to eat but the children will still see her tucking into her food/snacks or not moving much and children are influenced by the people looking after them so will seek to copy her. (But of course this nanny only eats salad and goes for a 5k run every day so I’m being unreasonable).

She struggled to get up off the floor ffs.

roses2 · 01/02/2025 15:23

Gosh what world do you live in that you have never seen an obese teacher?

I live in London where statistically there are less obese people than other parts of the country. You'll see the same in most worldwide cities:

https://chatgpt.com/share/679e3c5a-6414-8011-9253-baae36bfab80

Can't say that I recall many obese people at work either. I work for a company with 3,000 employees.

Shutupyoutart · 01/02/2025 15:21

wow such a depressing read this thread is.

NovemberMorn · 01/02/2025 15:18

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:16

So they say, they could just be lying about the getting up off the floor struggle no?

Well you could apply that argument to anyone and everyone on here lying.
Yes?

MumonabikeE5 · 01/02/2025 15:18

TheLymeTrew · 01/02/2025 14:28

You could have always paid for child care like other parents if your mum was such a horrible person she's forced her fatness and sweet tooth on your child?

Does PND stop you paying for childcare?

My Mother is a delight. And was a life saver at a time when I was actually fighting for my life. But she does have issues with food, which have a lasting impact on her, and also impacted my child

the OP asked a question and I answered it with honesty. If we only want to hear one view we wouldn’t ask questions.

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:16

NovemberMorn · 01/02/2025 15:14

Perhaps most can.
But this lady had trouble getting up and down from the floor, that, to me, would have been a sign she wasn't fit enough.
I will add, if a slim person struggled with this basic movement, I wouldn't hire her either.

So they say, they could just be lying about the getting up off the floor struggle no?

LadyTangerine · 01/02/2025 15:15

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 15:10

Yes children can ‘catch the fat’ inadvertently. Most fat children have fat parents. If this nanny is cooking unhealthy meals and isn’t doing much exercise, then yes, of course OP’s DC will be affected by that.

This is very true. Of course unhealthy lifestyles influence kids.

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:15

SunshineOnASnowyDay · 01/02/2025 15:10

Yes children can ‘catch the fat’ inadvertently. Most fat children have fat parents. If this nanny is cooking unhealthy meals and isn’t doing much exercise, then yes, of course OP’s DC will be affected by that.

That isn't what I meant and you know it, don't be obtuse! And no if you are taking care of someone else children as a nanny you cook what the parents want the child to eat.
Also again just because you are obese doesn't mean you are eating unhealthy food all day every day.

NovemberMorn · 01/02/2025 15:14

ChishiyaBat · 01/02/2025 15:10

And i'm telling you im my opinion and experience most morbidly obese people are more than capable of taking care of a toddler.

Perhaps most can.
But this lady had trouble getting up and down from the floor, that, to me, would have been a sign she wasn't fit enough.
I will add, if a slim person struggled with this basic movement, I wouldn't hire her either.

Lentilweaver · 01/02/2025 15:13

What most obese people can do is irrelevant as this nanny can't get off the floor for whatever reasons, most likely obesity.