Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do in my situation?

159 replies

Alwaybkind · 01/02/2025 09:39

My brother left rehab yesterday as he wasn’t able to sleep for 7 days he finally cracked and left after being there for over two months. He has lost his place at the rehab now. I went and found him and now he is in an Airbnb 5 minutes from me an hour away from our hometown where he usually lives. Mum is staying with him too to keep an eye on him.

Im willing to commit and allow him to move in with him whilst we get him back on his feet. DH thinks I’m wasting my time. Our life is stressful as it work and kids. But I don’t feel like I can just abandon him.

But I think if we both pull together and support him we could do it.

Am I being completely bonkers? I’m willing to give him one chance.

OP posts:
NowThatYouSayIt · 01/02/2025 09:55

It’s not that it’s wasting your time, it’s that you’re potentially exposing young children to dangerous behaviour, and the unedifying and frightening experience of having an addict who’s relapsed in their home.

Bunkbedbunk · 01/02/2025 09:54

What everyone else has already said - no
You have a greater responsibility to your DC and DH than your brother. And you're not a rehab professional. And you haven't even said if your brother is willing to improve. Even if he is - still no

jeaux90 · 01/02/2025 09:54

I would not be bringing him into my home with DC no.

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 01/02/2025 09:53

No no no no

Do not bring a fragile addict into your home where your children are.

That's gross negligence and putting them at serious risk.

He needs to be kept well away from them until he's been a long time clean.

TheSandgroper · 01/02/2025 09:51

You can’t be the lifeboat to someone who keeps jumping out.

Kids and husband first.

LIZS · 01/02/2025 09:49

You are well intended but are at risk of overwhelming yourself and putting your family at risk. Seek professional support for him, dropping out is pretty common.

MrsKwazi · 01/02/2025 09:48

Nope
He is an addict
You have kids
Is he really going to change?
He didn’t even engage with the professionals, why do you think YOU will make a difference (meant kindly)
It is very very hard but you really don’t need this in your life.
Not sure if it’s alcohol or drugs, but if drugs you are also inviting a criminal element to the drug taking into your life, really not fair on your family.

Fencehedge · 01/02/2025 09:43

Allowing addict to live with my children after abandoning rehab, husband not on board = no

annonymousse · 01/02/2025 09:42

It depends on the back story. What stands out to me is that you have children. What might you be exposing them to?

Swipe left for the next trending thread