What would you do in my situation?

A few years ago, I attended a lecture about these very issues. It’s a real quandary because most of us would want to help our loved one, or at least not see them struggle.
However, the issue is that what generally happens is that the ‘helper’ isn’t actually helping but enabling the addicts behaviour. When there’s always a safety net, nothing will change. They have no choice, it’s the nature of addiction.

You sound like a wonderful and caring sister, but the best thing you can do for your brother is create boundaries. By all means support him, but don’t enable his addiction. So hard. Perhaps this is where your DH is coming from.

I know of people who have found AlAnon really helpful in helping them create those boundaries. It might be worth looking at some of their resources. I think they cover addictions generally, not just alcohol, although there may also be an equivalent for family and friends of narcotic addicts.

NO, NO, NO my answer would always be NO to an addict in my home. My kids and dh's safety and comfort in their home would always come first over anyone, family or friend.

I sorry but no. My ex was an alcoholic and from my experience they lie, they cheat, they steal a d they gaslight you. I divorced him in the end. It was hell.

You can’t ‘help’ anyone who’s bolted from rehab. They help themselves by going back.

He’s lying about the sleeping pills.

Do not expose your children to this. Visit him, encourage him to seek rehab again, be there for your mum but do not let him move in. Also if your DH says no then that is that.

It depends what the risk is to your kids? An he not stay with your mum? Are the council willing to house him?

Fair enough. What a waste of a chance, in that case!

No she's definitely not being told the full story.

You’re just gonna become an enabler . You’re already making excuses for him .
I’ve been there , done that . My former partner died from drink and drugs addiction . It’s a horrible life . Don’t involve your kids anywhere near it .
It’s not your problem to solve and the whole post is about what YOU want not what HE wants and he has to want this for himself not to make anyone else happy coz he won’t do it .

@FootstepAway public funded places are so hard to come by. He would not be offered another place for a significant period of time, especially if he walked out

Is there no other facility he could try?
Tbh it sounds like OP isn't getting the full story there anyway.

If his rehab was public funded, he's wasted his place. It will take him a lot of work to get another place. NA meetings may help but he also needs to be accessing substance misuse treatment services.
He may be clean now but he's obviously not motivated or he would have stayed. People with substance misuse issues lie, I believe this is what he has done about the sleeping tablets. He wouldn't have lost his place if it was a staff error.
What is the drug he was using prior to admission?

The rehab forgot to get him his sleeping pills so that is what caused it He got wound up and left.

If he acts this illogically when trained professionals "forget" something, what will he do if he decides you and your children aren't doing what he wants?

He'll get "wound up", won't he.

Absolutely not in my home.

Do not bring an addict into your children’s home. He is an adult and responsible for himself. You are responsible for your children and you must put them first. I understand it’s heartbreaking, but you absolutely cannot put your brother above your children.

He walked out of rehab... He had his chance.

How old are your kids?

You could come to seriously regret a decision to take him in if your kids are exposed to shouting, drugs, possible others coming round to get him to pay his debts etc.

I'd want to help but in no way would I be allowing him to move in.

Put your kids first.

Trying rehab with the correct medication seems the obvious next step, rather than trying to handle it yourself with no training, and kids in the picture.

Can I ask why you're not considering giving him a chance with that?

Absolutely not with children in the home. He can stay with your mum.

How do you know he's clean?

Then HE (not you) needs to approach homeless charities and the council.

He won't be housed by either if you are housing him. It will just delay his own place.

No way. I say this kindly and with experience - you’re being naive. It will be a mess.

to be honest sounds strange walking out due to not sleeping. the whole point of the place is to get him over the addiction and also if he has side effects from withdrawal such as insomnia they would have help for that.
seems like he has thrown the towel in too soon. don't take him in think of your kids keep your distance chance is as he has given up so easy he will soon be doing his addiction again

Only he can cure it, not you. What about when; he gets wound up at yours. No way would I bring my children into the company of a drug addict.

I mean this kindly but where is his responsibility in all this? It's the rehab fault he left, it's you that has to keep him going to meetings, services, the doctors.

I'm afraid if he is an adult he is only going to recover if he can take these steps himself and for his own reasons, not because his extremely compassionate but perhaps misguided sibling is on his case. I know you want to help but he really needs to help himself. Also the pressure to recover, because you are paying for the air bnb, allowing him to stay, badgering him to engage with services may actually be detrimental and make him less likely to succeed.