What would you do in my situation?

Totally agree that the will to recover has to come from the addict themselves.

But op was asking what we would do in her shoes and that would be my personal strategy.

I also strongly recommended that the op should not let him in to her home as follows:

“So in your shoes, definitely don’t let him lose the place he has now. Support him there”

so not quite sure why you are querying that?

I think op feels like she needs and wants to do something to help. And support her mother in helping too, which is why I answered as I did.

Sorry, yes, to be clear, I meant the percentage of those who do get clean, take several
attempts.

I agree it should be emphasised that only 20% or so recover completely. That link is very useful.

If it’s that easy OP everyone would do it and there’d be no rehab! Please put your kids first. Part of the recovery process means addicts need to realise it’s ultimately down to them and nobody can rescue them

I would support him to find a charity or an outreach centre or some here where he can seek further treatment

This would be my own approach, @Alongleadtimeplease, but the key point is that he has to want it himself, and that if he doesn't no amount of input is going to make a difference

Especially not moving him into OP's home, which would simply offer an opportunity to hide the issues - to say nothing of the risks to the family

My brother went into rehab 1st feb last year, self funded, he was there for 1 month for substance abuse. He did the full month but ti be honest should have done longer, you can be with him and keep an eye on him all he wants, it's now down to him. My brother unfortunately hasn't cut the friends out that he needs to and does fall off the wagon, then get pissed off at himself get depressed for a few weeks ans then gets back to normal, rinse ans repeat etc..
Your brother having been in for 2 months should now have the tools to help himself, he should also have started to make a plan about what he was going to do after rehab etc.. sorry this isn't much help, I've been there though so can sympathise

From what I have read, most addicts take two or three attempts to get clean?

Most addicts never get clean.

Op, I think you are very caring of your brother to offer that, but why do you think you can succeed where the professionals have failed?

The line about not being able to sleep? Do you believe it? Rehab can’t be an easy place at all but did he have access to ear phones or ear plugs? He must have slept at some point? Did he crack from lack of sleep or did he use again?

From what I have read, most addicts take two or three attempts to get clean? So in your shoes, definitely don’t let him lose the place he has now. Support him there. I would support him to find a charity or an outreach centre or some here where he can seek further treatment. And then visit often to provide moral support and maybe some freshly cooked meals? Don’t involve your dc.

Actually no, I didn’t mean it flippantly. The poster I quoted said rehabs can be noisy and that in the OP’s shoes they would move said addict into their home. I was trying to point out that there may be other solutions available that don’t involve the addict leaving rehab.

That's unnecessarily flippant.

I take it you have never been in a psych/rehab unit? It doesn't sound like he was in the Priory.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

He had a funded rehab place. He was on someone's radar - who was it, his GP? Clearly he's lying about the sleeping pills so he wasn't ready. What's changed?

I did read the posts but I had not understood that walking out of one rehab place means you cannot go to any rehab again.

And, ultimately attempts to 'save' by family members often entrench addiction because there's shame and obligation and dynamics attached. Which, when failure and judgement are attached can send an addict into a spiral of use.

Former addict here. Amazing family who have always done everything possible to support me, including taking me back in their house and helping with drug debts.

The best thing they ever did was finally kick me out and stop giving me money. It allowed me to get a stable HA property and finally sort my life out, including the ASD diagnosis which changed my life and allowed me to put the drugs down permanently once I finally understood what was 'wrong' with me all those years and why I had sought oblivion to cope.

I would take my brother to appointments and help him get scripts for medication etc. but I would never have him live in the same house as my children.
Can he live with your parents?

Social services almost certainly won’t be interested. They often are too overstretched to notice even when there is an urgent need (see Sara sharif; the boys who died in the fire.)

How to say you haven't read the OP's posts without saying you haven't 🙄

He walked out of rehab and lost his place there

Im sure im completely mad but cant help but want to try

There's no reason why you can't try to help him, OP, but just not in your home where the priority must surely be your DH and DCs

Remember, too, that you only have the addict's word for why he left rehab, which might have a bearing on whether he'll engage with any other help he's offered

This is a very important point, yes

Well, maybe he needs some earplugs then.

Be prepared for social services to step in and for your children to go on the child protection register if they are living with an addict. If you’re husband was the addict, social services would expect you to leave him or you would lose your children so I could imagine that your husband might be required to move out with your kids if you move your brother in.

I’m surprised that nobody has picked up on this problem yet.

This. OP, you CANNOT ‘get him back on his feet’ I’m afraid, however much you wish you could.

And sorry @jafbsd you had to go through that

This @Alwaybkind is my experience having worked with addicts!….
You can advise and offer support, but your brother needs to be referred to homeless services. They will help him if and when he excepts help!

Housing him may cause greater problems in the long run.

Once there is a place he can live, any priority status he might currently have will be removed.

Unkind as it sounds, you are not necessarily doing him a favour by trying to help..

Because many of us have had addicts in our lives and had to make the same or similar decisions.