AIBU to be disgusted by partner?

If you genuinely love him, you need to gently explain how you feel. Tell him you'll support him with changing habits but that if he doesn't step up and make efforts to change, you will leave him. I would start with the personal hygiene, then add new good habits as things improve. Not everything all at once.

He needs to shape up or ship out. No excuses for being lazy and filthy at the very least.

I'd give him the ultimatum. You can't make him leave the home but you can see a Solicitor to get the ball rolling on divorce and sleep in a seperate room immediately (if you aren't already).

I'm not being funny here, but being honest my DP is a large man. He does not smell, his hygiene is impeccable, he works hard, is a delight to live with and he isn't lazy. He may be carrying weight but that is NO excuse for any of the other aspects! Is he depressed?

Who does the food shopping and cooking? I would strip the food shop right back and say were all going on a healthy eating kick.

If he wants to sit on his arse get out and do stuff with your child and leave him behind.

Make him sleep elsewhere if he can’t even do basic hygiene.

If all else fails tell him to leave.

It's definitely ultimatum time.

As a bare minimum, he needs to:

• shower every morning;
• wear clean clothes every day;
• brush his teeth every morning and evening;
• do 50% of the housework;
• do 50% of the parenting.

I sincerely doubt he will step up, so I'd prepare yourself for single parenthood.

Is he a gamer

Ok. So what you meant is - you used to love him and are clinging on to that because you're scared of change?

What do you love about him today? Like right now, what has he done today/past week that make you love him? Because today is all that counts.

How did you have sex with this man? Physically... but also emotionally. A smelly, enormous, moody man... how? You haven't said said anything nice about him.

I think you need to have a very firm conversation with him and give him an ultimatum

Did anything trigger this change? He sounds like he's killing himself and has given up on life. He sounds really depressed.

Morbid obesity is a life-limiting condition and a type of self-harm. Is there anything in his childhood that could have caused his food issues and lack of self-care?

Whatever the reasons for his relationship with food, you don't have to stay with him. His weight and his lack of personal hygiene sound difficult enough for you to deal with but his refusal to take part in any activities that his child would enjoy would be a deal breaker for me.

If you issued an ultimatum that unless he seeks medical help you will be planning to leave him, do you think he would agree to do that?

You need a brutally honest conversation about how you feel. Tell him EVERYTHING you wrote here. He will either be shocked into change or he will stay the same. He sounds like a slob, I’m not surprised you’re disgusted.

tbh I’d also talk about the morbidly bit of how obese he is. Does he want to live to see his daughter grow up, or is he ok to put her through potentially losing a parent? You can’t just keep growing in weight with no serious effect on health or life expectancy.

He needs a reality check on all fronts.

The lack of hygiene would kill it for me, and his selfish attitude. So the only thing that matters is what he wants to do, not your Dd's needs.

I'd have one last talk with him. Explain bluntly that he needs to clean up, go to the doctor, start eating sensibly and take an interest in your dd or you will leave. You will help with cooking him decent food but he has to make an effort or it is over and the house goes on the market.

Give him a month, while you get your ducks in a row.

Have you spoken to him? Told him how you feel, and asked him how he’s feeling?

Leave and let him get on with it. You can't love someone and be disgusted by them at the same time. Often we convince ourselves we love someone simply because we are scared of making a change.

I love him

Why? He sounds grim