Is anyone else's full wage just going on living expenses?!

I bought at 21, low interest rates and borrowing up to 5 times my salary, it was very easy to get a mortgage for everyone I knew around the same age

Lots of 21 yr olds are still at uni or just finished so don't have the deposit. How did you save yours and what rent did you pay? Post 08 you couldn't borrow 5 times your salary unless you were a high earner.

Besides I haven't said there aren't any FTBs in their 20s, I just statistically it's not the norm...

The only surprise is that you are surprised at this.
London is expensive

I find it odd that you " crunched the numbers" and only just realised after 3 children that getting on the property ladder in London would be impossible.
Bizarre

I bought at 21, low interest rates and borrowing up to 5 times my salary, it was very easy to get a mortgage for everyone I knew around the same age

Tbh i think is partly because many young people want to skip out the step of buying a flat. They all seem to go straight to buying a 3-bed house as a first property whereas I'd bet a lot of people in their 50's now who bought in their 20's did so by buying a small flat eg 1 or 2 bed, then selling it to upgrade to a house in early 30's. Some of it is choices people make now.

That makes complete sense though! Often a 2 bed flat in z2/3 is the same price as a house in z4/5 and as FTBs are older if they want dc they need space now. And why potentially pay 2 lots of stamp duty? Plus many flats in London have not increased in value post Brexit. The ladder concept doesn't really work now.

This. Op you live in London, there are so many free museums etc in London. 'days out' that incur more cost should be no more than maybe once a year as a real treat in the context you are trying to save for a house deposit? Surely a secure home for your children comes way ahead of a few days out. Every penny counts.

You're getting a rough ride on here OP. I have three children in London too, and yes of course, it's very expensive, and got substantially more so.
Of course it would have been cheaper and more sensible to stick with two but sometimes these decisions are not straightforward /are taken by the heart not the head. Not everyone has the luxury of time to save for a house deposit before their fertile years are over etc. The important thing is what do you do now?
Realistically I do think probably you'll have move out of London if you want to buy a home. It's a tough one if all your friends and family are here.
There's nothing wrong with renting while you make the decision and while your kids are happy. Yes it's expensive but just by being in London you're 'buying' access to great schools, parks, amenities, cultural capital, in our case an amazing, walkable local community which our kids hugely benefit from. Of course these things exist elsewhere but there's a reason why London works really well for so many families and it's popular to live here.
A lot of people we know in London with kids are hanging on by a thread on interest-only mortgages, which isn't THAT different to renting, especially now that property prices have stalled.
I do think it's rubbish that parents who work hard and earn £50kish a year feel so hard up IMO. Only 40 per cent of people in the UK are net contributors of tax, I don't think it's surprising that a lot of people at the bottom/ middle of that group wonder why so much is being asked of them and why they can't afford a slightly better standard of living.

Tbh i think is partly because many young people want to skip out the step of buying a flat. They all seem to go straight to buying a 3-bed house as a first property whereas I'd bet a lot of people in their 50's now who bought in their 20's did so by buying a small flat eg 1 or 2 bed, then selling it to upgrade to a house in early 30's. Some of it is choices people make now.

'Over 50K' in london is not a high wage particularly when you have 3 children.

Having three children isn’t affordable on this kind of income in London, nor is buying a house tbh

Sadly, London (and many European cities) are no longer affordable for many people. It is just mostly for the very rich, those with inheritances and social housing. I know young people on 40k salaries in London who house share so the idea of a family house and supporting 3 children would just be a far away dream.

Inheritances are enabling many people to get on the housing ladder plus super rich people from outside the UK. I'm not sure what the answer is as with an increasing population housing will continue to increase.

If I was the poster I would seriously consider moving away from London, it's what people have had to do and their are lots of other places in the UK that can offer a lovely lifestyle.

That's a lot - not including groceries my total household outgoings are half your mortgage and we have the heating on 24 C all the time in winter and the aircon on in summer and have a higher household income.

It sounds like you're torturing yourselves by living in London.

Oops! Sorry op.

Shared ownership could be something worth exploring. The deposit would be relatively small and give OP and her family the security they don’t currently have.

Choosing to have three children on a moderate wage in one of the most expensive cities in the world? Not sure why you are so shocked. Did you not run the numbers beforehand?

I’m in my mid thirties now and most of us in my circle are on to our next houses now, having bought small houses or flats in our twenties. No one I knew got any help, we certainly didn’t for our first house. We saved in our twenties, bought houses

The reason so many 20 somethings struggle to get on the housing ladder is because of high renting costs & deposit size. You obviously had a high salary & cheaper rent if you could save up a big enough deposit in a few years. I'm not sure how much of it is just choice...

I’m also wondering what their joint income is and why OP doesn’t mention her salary. Maybe she works part-time.

Well yes lots of us did. I’m in my mid thirties now and most of us in my circle are on to our next houses now, having bought small houses or flats in our twenties

But I am referring to statistics, you understand how that is a little wider than your own experiences?

i relate to this. it's despiriting. my wages have nearly doubled in the past 10 years but i'm struggling just as much as i did 10 years ago!

We couldn't afford the lifestyle we would want so we don't live in London. Same with DCs, we only have 1.

Well yes lots of us did. I’m in my mid thirties now and most of us in my circle are on to our next houses now, having bought small houses or flats in our twenties. No one I knew got any help, we certainly didn’t for our first house. We saved in our twenties, bought houses, chose to have kids after buying and are now able to go on holidays and days out with our kids as we got on the property ladder first before doing these things. Not possible for everyone but in lots of cases it is the choices people make that can make the difference.

"Over 50% of UK ‘Baby Boomers’ owned property by age 30, however, this figure has plummeted as less than 30% of millennials"

The majority of millennials aren't on the housing ladder before 30...

Low interest rates were around from 2009 so those of us now in our mid thirties did have many years with the low rates and had the whole of our working lives with these rates until they rose again a couple of years ago. Property prices were lower too than they are now.

In order for this to be true people had to be buying their first property in their 20s at a time where lending criteria really tightened up and when the best rates were not necessarily available to those with high LTV.

Honestly, some people need to get off their high horses. As if it's that easy to completely uproot an established family and relocate to the opposite end of the country.

I don't think anyone is suggesting it's easy, but if you're not a high-earning family, you often don't have a choice. DH and I had to buy in a rural coastal town because we couldn't afford anything else - we prioritised getting on the property ladder over other things. Other people make different choices because they'd rather be closer to family or amenities.

Plus many millennials suffered from wage stagnation which really stepped up a notch after the 08 crash.

It’ll only be the very youngest millennials who won’t have been able to buy because of their age. Millennials are from 1981 to 1996. I’m mid way and most my age have been fine buying houses as long as we made his choices.

Er no, you just need to look at average age of FTBs.... I'm an older millennial and only bought with help, 6 figure help...

Never understood this.

The classic "I want kids, we'll find a way to make it work" mentality.

It's never the "we both make a good living, we save £1000 a month, ok, NOW we can afford kids and have stuff left over for holidays, etc"...