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Mum and DH being horrid about getting more cats

388 replies

FloydWasACat · 01/02/2025 06:30

OK, so background is: DH became quadroplegic just under four years ago. I work p/t as we also have 2 children and even though he has carers in I still to do a lot.

Around 8 months ago we had to put our 16 year old cat to sleep. We have another one who is gentle and loving who is 9 and I have noticed that she just seems lonely now.

I told DH that I was thinking of getting another cat from a rescue centre, he went apeshit at me. I would be paying and doing everything and frankly, there is no joy in my life nowadays and both DC would be happy too.

I may have overstepped but Cat Protection League advertised about two 14 month old girls. I put myself forward for them. I genuinely will be the one paying and doing everything. I KNOW our cat will be fine with them otherwise I wouldn't have even considered it.

When I was at work yesterday my DH told my Mum what I was thinking of doing. I got the most abusive phone call from her telling I was 'fucking stupid and an idiot' and 'I forbid you to have them' etc. I am 48 yrs old and after what has happened to DH I just think what the hell, you only get one life and it's giving a loving home to animals in need if care.

AIBU??

Sorry, that was very long. Just feel a bit lonely right now. Thanks if you got through all of that

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FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 20:32

I

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FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 20:31

Better one!

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FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 20:30

Thank you @aramox1 and everyone. I knew I made the right decision, they fit here perfectly

Mum and DH being horrid about getting more cats
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aramox1 · 04/03/2025 19:26

Lovely! Well done you and thank you for sharing a glimpse of your life. I'm sorry it's still so hard.

FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 10:22

Cat!!

Mum and DH being horrid about getting more cats
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FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 10:20

Gah!!!

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FloydWasACat · 04/03/2025 10:20

Kits and Cat

Mum and DH being horrid about getting more cats
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Agapornis · 03/03/2025 21:59

Glad you got the cats.

Your husband sounds like an arse though. It is okay to split up with someone if they treat you like shit, regardless of changes in health. Set a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like for your daughter.

Teenagehorrorbag · 03/03/2025 21:50

So pleased it's all worked out. Cats solve most things.....

Purplebunnie · 03/03/2025 15:15

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:48

Btw, I love my husband to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

It's not my choice that he gets put in bed at 9pm, that is the Carers schedule. I would love it if that didn't happen, but it does. He then just sits watching his iPad and doesn't engage with me through the next room. Like I don't exist.

It's horrible, ok?

That is awful. How sad you can't sit and watch TV together. Sending you hugs

VastOtter · 03/03/2025 14:43

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:14

They look bigger than they actually are!

Yay!!! I’m so glad you got your kittens, they are perfect! And also glad DH came round to the idea them, I hope you both enjoy your new family members.

(I don’t like the pair of names, Lenny and George though, Lenny had a tragic end 😢, he never got his rabbits and alfalfa, but your DD’s names are excellent!)

ForRealCat · 03/03/2025 13:23

So pleased for you OP, you deserve these little pieces of joy

Bigcat25 · 03/03/2025 13:19

Those kitties are too cute! Good for you op.

Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 03/03/2025 12:22

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:48

Btw, I love my husband to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

It's not my choice that he gets put in bed at 9pm, that is the Carers schedule. I would love it if that didn't happen, but it does. He then just sits watching his iPad and doesn't engage with me through the next room. Like I don't exist.

It's horrible, ok?

I feel really sad for you that your life sounds so difficult. If you’re looking after the cats yourself I don’t see the issue. If they bring you joy and you’re doing a kind thing rehoming them, screw what anyone else thinks!

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 12:03

Yesterday

Mum and DH being horrid about getting more cats
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FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 12:01

They were called Sugar and Spice but have now been renamed as Skylar and Oakley (my Dd's names for them.)

My DH wants to call them Lenny and George!

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DoNotBringLulu · 03/03/2025 11:47

Ahhhh!! They are gorgeous 🥰

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 03/03/2025 11:40

did you name them, or did they come with names ?

CagneyNYPD1 · 03/03/2025 11:34

I haven't read your whole thread but I have read your comments. If the kittens bring some joy into your home, then so be it. Your situation is very tough and you deserve a little bit of joy too. And your DM gets no say IMO.

Feel free to post more photos in lieu of kitten tax!

springbabydays · 03/03/2025 11:12

Chonk · 03/03/2025 11:05

Why don't you join him in the bedroom and watch a film together or something?

Yes, I think I would try to work with the schedule as you can be more flexible. What time does he get up in the morning? Could you all try to have earlier bed and wake times? (I'm sure you've already considered this)

V happy to read your update. Cats make everything better ❤️

Chonk · 03/03/2025 11:05

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:48

Btw, I love my husband to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

It's not my choice that he gets put in bed at 9pm, that is the Carers schedule. I would love it if that didn't happen, but it does. He then just sits watching his iPad and doesn't engage with me through the next room. Like I don't exist.

It's horrible, ok?

Why don't you join him in the bedroom and watch a film together or something?

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 03/03/2025 10:55

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:48

Btw, I love my husband to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

It's not my choice that he gets put in bed at 9pm, that is the Carers schedule. I would love it if that didn't happen, but it does. He then just sits watching his iPad and doesn't engage with me through the next room. Like I don't exist.

It's horrible, ok?

Sounds miserable for you both. But magine not even having a say in when you go to bed. 9pm is earlier than a teenager. I'd lose my will to live.

RaspberryScrubs · 03/03/2025 10:52

Mumofteenandtween · 03/03/2025 10:33

So Win / Win / Win / Win then.

(You happy, husband happy, kids happy, no need to deal with your awful mother.)

Sounds wonderful.

They are little darlings, thank you for the photo, OP.

I agree, it is a win win win.

Enjoy!

FloydWasACat · 03/03/2025 10:48

Btw, I love my husband to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

It's not my choice that he gets put in bed at 9pm, that is the Carers schedule. I would love it if that didn't happen, but it does. He then just sits watching his iPad and doesn't engage with me through the next room. Like I don't exist.

It's horrible, ok?

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No33 · 03/03/2025 10:42

Ahhhhh gorgeous kittens! Very happy for you!