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Original poster

to start giving personalised gifts so they don't get regifted back to me?

231 replies

offfswitch · 31/01/2025 22:01

Firstly I have no problem with regifting. But the golden rule is you don't regift to the person who gave you the gift in the first place!

It is happening more and more often and it is just getting annoying and it feels so thoughtless that they didn't even remember that I gave it to them in the first place.

For example, I have a friend who is a coffee aficionado so bought him a coffee hamper. He regifted it back to me. I don't even drink coffee!!

My new plan is to give personalised gifts. Surely they won't get regifted back to me?

OP posts:
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Original poster
offfswitch · 03/02/2025 17:00

AnnoyingHabits · 03/02/2025 14:18

Reframe it OP.

He loved your coffee gift so much, he finished it. He then decided to buy you the same present as he thought it was the best gift anyone could ever give.

How do you even know it’s the same one you gave to him? It could be a new one..!

I put it together @AnnoyingHabits but it is definitely better to think graciously!

OP posts:
Original poster
offfswitch · 03/02/2025 16:59

WildFlowerBees · 03/02/2025 15:50

For every £ you would've spent on gifts put it in a jar then at the end of the year treat yourself and give them all lovely cards instead.

That is actually a lovely idea, thank you ❤

OP posts:
WildFlowerBees · 03/02/2025 15:50

For every £ you would've spent on gifts put it in a jar then at the end of the year treat yourself and give them all lovely cards instead.

AnnoyingHabits · 03/02/2025 14:18

Reframe it OP.

He loved your coffee gift so much, he finished it. He then decided to buy you the same present as he thought it was the best gift anyone could ever give.

How do you even know it’s the same one you gave to him? It could be a new one..!

CandyCane457 · 03/02/2025 14:13

I’m going to put it out there and say, OP you seem convinced that coffee for your coffee drinking friend is thoughtful and personal, but I actually think it’s a really LAZY gift.
Youve bought him the kind of coffee you know he likes and knows he drinks every day, so making a hamper up of it just not exciting to receive. I drink green tea, usually buy myself Tetleys but every now and then I’ll splash out and buy better quality loose leaf ones or fancier brands.
If someone got me a hamper of a range of green teas, I’d find it just a bit..:boring. It’s something I buy for myself every day. I’d appreciate the gesture but I certainly wouldn’t be thrilled by it.

Tagyoureit · 03/02/2025 08:06

I would stop buying gifts. It's obviously such a waste of your time and if you keep getting them back, you're not choosing very well so just stop.

Pottedpalm · 03/02/2025 08:01

As a family we have stopped much of the ‘gift’ crap. I get a birthday/Christmas present for the DTs as theirs is in December. They give me a few suggestions, usually something like good chinos, shirt, coat etc. For the grandchildren it’s a nice toy and money in their savings. Sis, BiL, cousins etc, nothing. ( mutually agreed)
I only have one friend I regularly exchange gifts with and that is invariably something for the garden.
None of us want or need piles of !gift’ shite.

Original poster
offfswitch · 03/02/2025 07:47

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 22:27

Yes, I cannot imagine why people don't like her gifts.

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Aren't you lovely? 🙄

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 22:27

FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 22:22

I don’t think I’ve ever conversed with anyone as stubborn and pig headed as you OP 😂

Yes, I cannot imagine why people don't like her gifts.

FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 22:22

I don’t think I’ve ever conversed with anyone as stubborn and pig headed as you OP 😂

Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 22:22

FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 22:19

No, if you’re bothering to give a gift then the onus is on you to buy something that they don’t want to pass on.
Or… just don’t give the fucking gift. Why are you so desperate to give them a gift?

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I am not desperate to give a gift. I am reciprocating because others give me gifts.

I do put thought into gifts - hence coffee for coffee drinking friend.

OP posts:
Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 22:20

FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 21:59

No, but their role is to sell stuff for the benefit of the charity. And personalised stuff is automatically going to have a very limited pool of potential buyers. Why would they want it taking up space in their shop?

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They accept personalised items taking up space in their shop. My local charity shop won't take electricals but will accept anything else in good condition.

OP posts:
FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 22:19

offfswitch · 02/02/2025 22:16

So when I give a gift, the onus is on me to make it easy to pass on?

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No, if you’re bothering to give a gift then the onus is on you to buy something that they don’t want to pass on.
Or… just don’t give the fucking gift. Why are you so desperate to give them a gift?

Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 22:18

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:58

Their role is to make money for charity. People giving them loads of unsellable crap impedes them in that job.

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They will accept pretty much most things. If it impedes them in their job, they should refuse but they don't.

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Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 22:16

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:58

No they can't, because you've deliberately made it more difficult for them to pass it on.

Just stop buying them stuff, it's really very simple.

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So when I give a gift, the onus is on me to make it easy to pass on?

OP posts:
FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 21:59

offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:46

Their role isn't to pick and choose what they want.

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No, but their role is to sell stuff for the benefit of the charity. And personalised stuff is automatically going to have a very limited pool of potential buyers. Why would they want it taking up space in their shop?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:58

offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:46

Their role isn't to pick and choose what they want.

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Their role is to make money for charity. People giving them loads of unsellable crap impedes them in that job.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:58

offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:47

They can pass it on to someone else no problem, just not to me.

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No they can't, because you've deliberately made it more difficult for them to pass it on.

Just stop buying them stuff, it's really very simple.

Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:47

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:29

I don't think all personalised gifts are tat, by the way. But these are people who have already shown you that they don't like or want your presents, which is why they have regifted them. Giving them something they can't easily pass on to someone else is just batshit. Just stop buying stuff for the sake of it.

They can pass it on to someone else no problem, just not to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:46

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:25

Just because they accept them doesn't mean they want them.

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Their role isn't to pick and choose what they want.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:29

I don't think all personalised gifts are tat, by the way. But these are people who have already shown you that they don't like or want your presents, which is why they have regifted them. Giving them something they can't easily pass on to someone else is just batshit. Just stop buying stuff for the sake of it.

FrustratedandBemused · 02/02/2025 21:28

You know what? I’ve finally figured this thread out! The OP makes personalised tat with a Cricut machine that she sells on Etsy, and in a minute she’s going to drop a link to her shop. This has all been a long winded and irritating advertising attempt!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 21:25

offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:05

Charity shops do accept personalised items.

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Just because they accept them doesn't mean they want them.

Original poster
offfswitch · 02/02/2025 21:05

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/02/2025 19:49

I can assure you, charity shops don't want personalised tat that 99.9% of people aren't going to buy because their name isn't Fiona.

Don't make this charity shops' problem please.

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Charity shops do accept personalised items.

OP posts:
Powderblue1 · 02/02/2025 21:05

I'd just stop buying for them! How unappreciative