Page 2 | New to working in a nursery and witnessed horrible treatment

Original poster

Emrald1 · 01/02/2025 22:22

Also, I should add, I found out that this staff member has recently lost a grandparent and I know she was saying she was suffering with lack of sleep, I know this is no excuse at all, Im just worried that management will say that she is going through a tough time, of course if this happens I will contact LADO. I do know the whistleblowing policy, I just wanted to come on here and ask for advice as its distressing and I am new to the role, in what seems a clicky place

OP posts:

Original poster

Emrald1 · 01/02/2025 22:15

Ok, so I will go to management first thing Monday. The reason I didn't at the time was because manager wasn't on site Friday and I posted here for advice as it's a awful situation to witness, I am a single mum and this is my first job return to work now my DD started school. I applied for this job as I genuinely do care about children

OP posts:

strawberryjeans · 01/02/2025 22:09

Wobblytrouble · 01/02/2025 22:02

What the actual f*ck am I reading??? How is it that there are so many examples of abuse in nurseries?? I’ve just this week sent our second child to the same nursery our first born went to as I’ve gone back to work. This thread is making me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve always felt positive and trusting about our nursery but now I’m having serious doubts. But what can we do… all quit our jobs to look after our children during the early years??

Please tell me there are some nurseries that aren’t like this??? Lots of the nursery staff at ours send their own kids to the same establishment. Surely this is a good sign??

I really hope you do report this and are supported OP.

They are not all like this. I used to work in nurseries. Some are really lovely places, but some are not, more than parents would expect I think. Trust your gut, if your children are happy, staff turnover is low etc then it is likely to be fine.

Wobblytrouble · 01/02/2025 22:02

What the actual f*ck am I reading??? How is it that there are so many examples of abuse in nurseries?? I’ve just this week sent our second child to the same nursery our first born went to as I’ve gone back to work. This thread is making me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve always felt positive and trusting about our nursery but now I’m having serious doubts. But what can we do… all quit our jobs to look after our children during the early years??

Please tell me there are some nurseries that aren’t like this??? Lots of the nursery staff at ours send their own kids to the same establishment. Surely this is a good sign??

I really hope you do report this and are supported OP.

strawberryjeans · 01/02/2025 21:30

AleaEim · 01/02/2025 00:32

OP this is sadly common and it won’t be your last time seeing this type of behaviour in a nursery. I did some nursery temping a few summers ago, I worked in 12 different nurseries and each one I saw this kind of behaviour. I reported it to ofsted.

Totally agree with you :( now I’m a mum myself it makes me very anxious. I’ll do all I can to not send my baby till DC can talk and even then I’ll be so selective. The ofsted outstanding is sometimes a red herring too. I’ve found really caring requires improvement settings and lousy ‘outstanding’ ones

Moll2020 · 01/02/2025 21:18

There will be a whistleblowing policy. Follow it. This is a red flag and you being new and the other staff member not is totally irrelevant. Bullying children is totally unacceptable

Hello55 · 01/02/2025 21:00

Emrald1 · 31/01/2025 21:16

Today, my colleague was in a bad mood and just wanted to do tasks like clearing drawers and not interact with the children. She was frustrated with a DC crying and said 'right, this is what we're going to do' and she forcefully grabbed her by the hand and marched her over, plonked her hard down on the floor and then chucked her doll that she had brought in from home down on the ground next to her really hard. A bit later on, she aggressively marched over to the same DC with a angry look on her face and forcefully removed her dummy from her mouth. Whilst having dinner, the same DC was trying to take food from another's plate and she again grabbed her hand away in not a nice way and shouted NO. I don't do nappies as I am lunch cover so I let her know that this DC had soiled their nappy, as she was on nappies and there was no other staff present. She gave a look of disgust to the DC and didn't say anything. I made a note of these things. I was looking for advice as I know I need to report this but this member of staff has been there a long time whereas I haven't and I have a feeling I won't be believed as I think she is seen as a very competent member of staff but this was witnessed by just me. How can I approach this please

I forgot to add in my reply pressed send before saying this is a safeguarding issue. Please don't delay taking action x

Layla30 · 01/02/2025 21:00

@Emrald1 I could have written this myself a few years ago. I worked in a small private nursery and the assistant manager was horrible to children and staff. She was highly thought of and a friend of the manager/owner so I knew I probably wouldn’t be taken seriously.
I kept a note of every single worrying incident over the period of a month and one day when I couldn’t take it anymore I matched into the owners office and presented her with the evidence.
I got asked to leave but made sure I told other staff what had happened and encouraged them to come forward if they too had concerns. About 6 months later the nursery got shut down - heard the owner went bankrupt and was glad as she stuck by the nursery nurse I had complained about so didn’t deserve to stay open!

Hello55 · 01/02/2025 20:59

Emrald1 · 31/01/2025 21:16

Today, my colleague was in a bad mood and just wanted to do tasks like clearing drawers and not interact with the children. She was frustrated with a DC crying and said 'right, this is what we're going to do' and she forcefully grabbed her by the hand and marched her over, plonked her hard down on the floor and then chucked her doll that she had brought in from home down on the ground next to her really hard. A bit later on, she aggressively marched over to the same DC with a angry look on her face and forcefully removed her dummy from her mouth. Whilst having dinner, the same DC was trying to take food from another's plate and she again grabbed her hand away in not a nice way and shouted NO. I don't do nappies as I am lunch cover so I let her know that this DC had soiled their nappy, as she was on nappies and there was no other staff present. She gave a look of disgust to the DC and didn't say anything. I made a note of these things. I was looking for advice as I know I need to report this but this member of staff has been there a long time whereas I haven't and I have a feeling I won't be believed as I think she is seen as a very competent member of staff but this was witnessed by just me. How can I approach this please

Omg this has nearly brought me to tears, I feel for the parents sending their child somewhere to be treated like that.
You should feel proud of yourself that you are trying to advocate for this child as the child can't do that.
Please report to management, if there is any come back I would contact ofsted or something. This can't go on.
I have a child at nursery and honestly it's hard not knowing what really goes on behind closed doors x

Lonelyranger · 01/02/2025 20:52

If you work in a nursery you should know they all have a whistle blowing policy. Report straight away. It gives genuine caring staff a bad name 😡

Gemmawemma9 · 01/02/2025 20:45

Report. If it gets brushed under the carpet i would shout it from the rooftops. Ofsted, social media, stand outside and tell the parents. This is awful 😢

Nikki75 · 01/02/2025 20:35

I would confront her myself.
Then tell her your reporting her and also telling the parents.

arcticpandas · 01/02/2025 20:31

Cookiecrumblepie · 01/02/2025 20:16

This makes me so worried. How do parents know that their childcare is good? We just no choice and no idea! It’s awful

Hopefully the fact that nursey work is team work you would expect them to speak up if someone was treating the children badly...

Cookiecrumblepie · 01/02/2025 20:16

This makes me so worried. How do parents know that their childcare is good? We just no choice and no idea! It’s awful

Fountofwisdom · 01/02/2025 20:10

Greenbottle123 · 31/01/2025 21:26

Report to your manager, OFSTED and local authority

^ look on your Local Authority website and find a contact for the LADO. You need to report this IMMEDIATELY, THIS WEEKEND. Be strong.

CyanMaker · 01/02/2025 20:04

I think you should go to the director and tell them you can't work with this person again. That will open up the line of communication because surely they will want to know why. You have to say something for that defenseless child's sake. I would bet that this has been going on for awhile and maybe with other children too. Another thing to think about is that if she injures a child while you are there you could be unjustly blamed if she decides to "play dumb" about what happened.

NameChangedOfc · 01/02/2025 19:47

arcticpandas · 31/01/2025 21:23

That's the problem. She's probably really sweet to the parents so they would be none the wiser. I have worked in nurseries but I have never witnessed abusive behaviour like this. OP, I think you will have to report this because this poor child is a victim. And if it's not being dealt with I would tell the child's mother myself because we as adults do need to protect vulnerable children. This post made me sick to my stomach.

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This 🙏

ChocolateTriffle · 01/02/2025 19:46

This is a safeguarding concern. Your nursery should have a policy to follow when you have a safeguarding concern. Generally you need to go and speak to whoever is a safeguarding lead within the nursery.

hyperkid · 01/02/2025 19:22

Lavender14 · 31/01/2025 21:37

She may be burnt out and previously have been a good worker but ultimately op the why doesn't matter. You go to management and you tell them exactly what you saw. I personally would also go to the colleague and say to them directly that what you witnessed didn't sit well with you and you have passed it on but you wanted to be up front with them about it and I'd encourage them to be honest with management if they're struggling or if something is going on behind the scenes they need support with.

These situations are never easy to deal with but op it's your job to keep the children in your care safe, including from your colleagues. I've had to do this previously and it was horrible but it was the right thing to do.

I would not go to the colleague. No need to give her pre warning so she can come up with a sob story or pretend you misunderstood, when called in for a chat by management.

I don't care how shitty someone's private life is. If you can't bear being around kids because you are that stressed, you should be signed off sick or in a different profession.

arcticpandas · 01/02/2025 19:16

Fetchthevet · 01/02/2025 19:11

Another one here who's seen awful treatment of a child while working in a nursery. I reported straight to LADO. When I had my own child, thank God I was lucky enough to be a SAHM so I didn't have to use a Nursery (no offence to anyone).

I was a Sahm as well because I just didn't trust anyone to care for my DC when so small. I worked in nurseries and never witnessed abuse but I did witness some nursery workers who just didn't care about the children. Like did the minimum but didn't try to interact with them which was strange to me. My heart just fills up when I'm around toddlers and babies so it doesn't even feel like work, it all feels so natural. So I think it depends on the motivation of the staff.

Fetchthevet · 01/02/2025 19:11

Another one here who's seen awful treatment of a child while working in a nursery. I reported straight to LADO. When I had my own child, thank God I was lucky enough to be a SAHM so I didn't have to use a Nursery (no offence to anyone).

Dittyditty · 01/02/2025 19:01

When my GD was little I used to collect her from nursery most days
One day she came out V upset saying that the "Naughty lady" made her cry
She has always been spoken to softly and kindly so this would have really upset her
A week later I had arrived early and the door window blind had been left up.I heard and saw some very worrying staff behaviour directed at another child
When I got home I rang the manager.She was actually glad to hear from me as others had flagged this up
My call was the one that led to it being resolved
Please please report it
If you don't I guarantee your conscience will bother you forever

WitchesCauldron · 01/02/2025 18:59

Emrald1 · 31/01/2025 21:16

Today, my colleague was in a bad mood and just wanted to do tasks like clearing drawers and not interact with the children. She was frustrated with a DC crying and said 'right, this is what we're going to do' and she forcefully grabbed her by the hand and marched her over, plonked her hard down on the floor and then chucked her doll that she had brought in from home down on the ground next to her really hard. A bit later on, she aggressively marched over to the same DC with a angry look on her face and forcefully removed her dummy from her mouth. Whilst having dinner, the same DC was trying to take food from another's plate and she again grabbed her hand away in not a nice way and shouted NO. I don't do nappies as I am lunch cover so I let her know that this DC had soiled their nappy, as she was on nappies and there was no other staff present. She gave a look of disgust to the DC and didn't say anything. I made a note of these things. I was looking for advice as I know I need to report this but this member of staff has been there a long time whereas I haven't and I have a feeling I won't be believed as I think she is seen as a very competent member of staff but this was witnessed by just me. How can I approach this please

Report this straight away. This is a serious safeguarding issue. You are there to protect children that can't speak for themselves.

starsinthedarksky · 01/02/2025 18:55

Report this to your manager. It doesn’t matter how long someone has worked there or if they’re normally a great staff member. If you don’t feel like it has been dealt with appropriately, you can then forward on your concerns to LADO (local authority designated officer).

I reported a member of staff who had been there 15 years when I was a student and she was fired. I felt terrified but it was the right thing to do. I am in the job because I genuinely care about children and their education and wellbeing and I would be doing such a disservice to them and their family by ignoring poor practice.

Whatinthedoopla · 01/02/2025 18:54

I felt like the nursery practitioners were not treating my child properly, but there was no proof! I promise you, the parent would be so grateful to know of something like that is happening. This worker needs to leave, and you urgently need to tell management so it can stop. Parents put their trust in nurseries, and would be mortified if this was happening.