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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to arrange my days off around the requirements of the window cleaner?

117 replies

FailyDail · 31/01/2025 14:29

We’ve had the same window cleaner throughout the nearly 3yrs we’ve lived in our home. We ‘inherited’ them from the previous occupants and until now there’s been no issue.

Me & my husband are hybrid workers so there’s usually one of us WFH mon-Thurs.
The window cleaners, led by ‘Nigel’ didn’t have a set pattern and would just turn up at some point once a month, someone would usually be in. They’d wash the windows, we’d pay, that’s the end of it.

The last few times maybe 3-4, bearing in mind it’s monthly, he’s come on a Friday when usually no-one is home; husband in office I’m on a day off and usually out; I go to gym straight after school drop off then whatever else I need to do out and about.
I therefore come home to a note that they’ve been. Of relevance, if no one is in Nigel &co can’t get round the back, so only do the front and therefore charge half the usual price.

Nigel does the rounds collecting cash, which we pay, in the evening. I did ask about bank transfer but he ‘doesn’t do that’.
Again no issues with this - until today.

Today (being Friday) I was walking out of the school gates on my way to the gym.
Nigel was doing the windows of a house by the school, on a trajectory to eventually get to my road.
He spotted me and called me and I trotted over.
He announced to me that I hadn’t been in the last few times they’d done our windows. This is true!
I was slightly surprised he recognised me and had seemed to have memorised my presence or otherwise during window cleaning.
I agreed with him, slightly baffled not knowing where this is going. I thought it was about the payment.
We always pay up immediately when he does his collection rounds (or at the time if we’re in).

He then asked if I’d be in this morning, I said no told him I was going into the village. He wanted to know when I’d be back. I didn’t know. After gym I had a parcel to collect, usually have a little mooch around the shops might get some groceries, basically didn’t want to be held to a time (also, why??).
I’m getting annoyed with him now.

He then says ‘Doris says you’re off on Fridays’ ‘Doris’ being my ndn. I’m not sure what he thought the relevance of this is but he said it very accusingly almost like a ‘gotcha’

I just said ‘yes I am so I’m almost never going to home on Friday’, and went to walk off.

This is where his actual reason for all this questioning is revealed:

Basically his only access to the backs of our whole row of houses on the road is through our attached side garage.
If he can’t use our access he can only clean the fronts, and only charge half for everyone on the row.
I usually unlock the garage doors from the inside, Nigel and co troop through and do the back and the use everyone’s single storey back extension roofs to travel along the whole row. Thinking about it I now realise they come back and out through our garage afterwards, close the door behind them then I pop out and lock it after them.
Without over explaining he can’t access the rear of the other houses without going through the houses themselves, ladders buckets boots and all.

So after him explaining this to me, I think I was meant to say “gosh I didn’t realise, I’ll cancel my plans and go home and wait until your arrival”. Which I didn’t. I just said we’re usually in every day but Friday but if he persists with Friday I usually won’t be in.
He then asks (again) what time I’m usually back on Friday and I just say I’m out all day now, because by this point I cba.
He’s not exactly aggressive, but clearly quite annoyed about my lack of acquiescence and inconsideration of his requirements.
He just says ‘so you’ll be out again this morning then?’ As if this is just unbelievably selfish of me.

I walked off at this point but I’ve now decided I’m just going to cancel him and see what life is like without clean windows, perhaps hire the other chap who advertises on Facebook sometimes.
And Nigel can work out how to access his other customer’s windows without my help on Friday or any other week day.
Only issue is I don’t have Nigel’s number so will have to have another unpleasant face to face conversation.

YABU - you should just make sure you’re home on Friday morning to let Nigel in.

YANBU - continue to use your days off as you see fit and also fire Nigel.

OP posts:
Germanymunch · 31/01/2025 19:19

YANBU - he can't run his business without your help is what he clearly meant to say. Change up and find someone who can communicate.

Riverswims · 31/01/2025 19:17

StressedLP1 · 31/01/2025 16:12

‘being able to use your rear access’

fnarr 🤭

now got an ear worm of “and you can always come in my back door” from walk hard . 2:56

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/oflbCHWZCBU?si=-IZ3_3dHTHQmdmLg

ElatedShark · 31/01/2025 19:16

Typical tax dodger!

Get your husband to speak to him and cancel him. This is just the start of him causing issues.
Can you imagine if you go on holiday or something for a period of time? He'd have a fit.

It's not your responsibility to let him use your property to do jobs for everyone else. That knowledge alone would annoy me as it means you have to wait around for them to not only finish you house, but everyone else's before you can lock up.

He seems like he is prioritising other people on your roads preference of cleaning day, rather than you, when it should be you as you have to give him access. Madness

ElatedShark · 31/01/2025 19:11

parietal · 31/01/2025 14:53

can the neighbour (doris) let nigel in through your garage to do all the houses on a Friday?

Why should they allow that?

EmpressaurusKittyBella · 31/01/2025 19:04

WoolySnail · 31/01/2025 19:02

It wasn't a pop at your comment, sorry if it came across that way. I was agreeing with you, and being sarky about the window cleaner 🙂

Cheers @WoolySnail.

WoolySnail · 31/01/2025 19:02

EmpressaurusKittyBella · 31/01/2025 18:38

Yes, but I mentioned it because so many posters seem to have missed that bit of the OP!

It wasn't a pop at your comment, sorry if it came across that way. I was agreeing with you, and being sarky about the window cleaner 🙂

JC03745 · 31/01/2025 19:01

Yes, I'm far too engaged in this now.

I'm still confused, so Nigel and team come through your garage to your back garden. How do they then access neighbouring backyards? Do you have gates between to access each others back gardens? Is he using YOUR hose to clean THEIR windows, or he uses a spray/rag type system? 🤔

HereBeWormholes · 31/01/2025 18:50

RonSwansong · 31/01/2025 18:33

Because she’s not usually in??

Nigel needs to modernise, no way would I pay by cash. If I’m getting my windows cleaned it’s usually something I don’t want to spend money on in the first place, no way am I gonna traipse around town trying to find a cash machine!

Also last time I watched our window be cleaned and they didn’t even use a squeegee thing, just sprayed some water on the windows 😵‍💫 window cleaner texts me every MONTH to see if I want them doing - who needs them doing monthly??

Edited

Yes, ours sprays the upper windows with a sort of hose that runs through a scratchy brush arrangement... there are scratches on our windows, but not sure it's from them...

Also, they come every 6 weeks, which feels too much, especially if there's a storm the next day and they're mucky again.

And I don't know about Nigel, but I wouldn't want mine particularly to know for certain that there's a day I'm not there... 😒 especially in the light of @coldcallerbaiter 's observation...

SodOffbacktoaibu · 31/01/2025 18:48

Doris needs to mind her own business and I would feel like cancelling Nigel and just getting someone who comes to do a one off.

I have a neighbour, we'll call him Ron.... Ron had a gas leak. They had to come in our house too for boring reasons. Ron wanted extra checks and attention because he's a right old fuss bag who thinks he knows better than engineers. He told them when I would be home and went bonkers when I said if they needed access to my house they'd need to make an appointment with me because I'd be working and in meetings..or... how dare I....be OUT at work!

He was furious with me! The mind boggles.

EmpressaurusKittyBella · 31/01/2025 18:38

WoolySnail · 31/01/2025 17:30

Of course he's ignored her, because he's decided he's doing that row of houses on a Friday and doesn't give a toss whether that works for op or not!

Yes, but I mentioned it because so many posters seem to have missed that bit of the OP!

bellocchild · 31/01/2025 18:33

Our (wonderful!) window cleaner texts a day before to ask if we will be in. If not, he reschedules. It's not hard.

RonSwansong · 31/01/2025 18:33

mrsm43s · 31/01/2025 15:43

Why not just say "I'm not in on Fridays, I'm usually in on a *day"?

This seems an awful lot of drama about a non event!

Because she’s not usually in??

Nigel needs to modernise, no way would I pay by cash. If I’m getting my windows cleaned it’s usually something I don’t want to spend money on in the first place, no way am I gonna traipse around town trying to find a cash machine!

Also last time I watched our window be cleaned and they didn’t even use a squeegee thing, just sprayed some water on the windows 😵‍💫 window cleaner texts me every MONTH to see if I want them doing - who needs them doing monthly??

MermaidEyes · 31/01/2025 18:33

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 31/01/2025 16:39

@FailyDail so how do all those neighbours get things delivered to their back gardens??? take it none of them have a hot tub then????

Edited

A neighbour of mine has a hot tub, it went over the roof on a massive crane!

FailyDail · 31/01/2025 18:25

to be clear, I don’t think the neighbours actually expect me to proved the ‘access’ service (with possible exception of Doris) or are even aware. I don’t get the impression Nigel has asked them to let him through but I don’t actually know one way or another.

In regards to the whole row’s garden access, most, in fact all, of the rest of the row have knocked down the garage and built an extension in the side return, either double height or single. They’re the kind of house that are semi-detached but the garages are connected. By extending they’ve essentially become more like a terrace in regards to garden access.
i assume if they want a lazy spa or whatever in the garden it goes through the house.

there’s no jigger at the back like you’d expect with a traditional terrace and actually the block is a triangle shape, so there’s not really an ‘end fence’ to go over. It’s very hard to describe but the end houses are all at a weird angle with triangle gardens.

i did of course realise he was using our garage to access the whole row but didn’t care because I was in, WFH so it didn’t inconvenience me (much). I hadn’t really considered that the fact they also came back through meant we were the only access point until after my conversation with Nigel.

OP posts:
HereBeWormholes · 31/01/2025 18:24

coldcallerbaiter · 31/01/2025 15:56

Same, my windows look streaky though!

plus on an admittedly irrational note, I never trusted window cleaners since I was a child as one tipped off burglars about whereabouts and belongings and when we spoke to the police, they said it actually was common.

Edited

😱

Namechangeforthis88 · 31/01/2025 18:18

We live in a land of bungalows and an enterprising child has got themselves some window cleaning kit and has been advertising on Facebook. Doesn't help you probably but quite interesting.

Hdjdb42 · 31/01/2025 18:09

I'd stick a note on your front door/garage saying, I no longer require a window cleaner. Thank you.

WoolySnail · 31/01/2025 17:58

I bet he'll tell all the neighbours it's her fault they are going to have to be the ones inconvenienced instead of op too!

FailyDail · 31/01/2025 17:58

I think I’ve not been clear enough that he’s previously been coming Mon-Thurs for years and that’s been fine, he’s now decided he wants to do Friday (I didn’t quiz him as to why)
it does say in the OP

“I just said we’re usually in every day but Friday but if he persists with Friday I usually won’t be in”

He simply has changed to Friday and wants me to be in to allow access through my garage.

I haven’t reported our conversation word for word, but I did say very clearly we’re in Mon-Thurs just not Friday.
He was then exasperated and cross that I wouldn’t commit to returning home at a certain time on Fridays so he could get through the garage. If not doing so makes me obstructive so be it.

as to why he can’t go through the other houses in the row, I suppose he’ll probably have to, I’ve no idea if he’s asked those residents or not and if they’ve not allowed it, and tbh it’s not something I’ll be getting involved in.
basically the rest of the houses don’t have gaps between them, we’re on the end with a garage, but that’s attached to another house side on to us, no other passageway to back. The side on to us house, I’ve never seen them have their windows done so don’t expect they’d fancy being the ‘access person’.

I definitely shan’t be giving Doris a key to the garage. I don’t want people going through in my absence. I’d actually have to give her the key to the house because the garage door needs unbolting from the inside so she have to enter via the internal connecting door, which she’d also have to remember to lock or else everyone has free access to the house from the garage.

OP posts:
Midnightlove · 31/01/2025 17:57

She obviously doesn't want to have to arrange a specific time to be in for him. What of she wanted to go out that day as a one off but had to sit in for the arsey window cleaner?

Get rid and let the neighbours have the problem

CliantheLang · 31/01/2025 17:48

heldinadream · 31/01/2025 16:59

WTF? Why in the name of everything sane should OP give access to Nigel - and Doris - in her absence to make Nigel's life easier? Just why?

Because MN is full of boymoms who think women are appliances who exist for their darling sons to use at will.

I'd like to remind said boymoms that it will be your daughters, not your sons, who will take care of you in your dotage. And - at least if my family is anything to go by - what goes around comes around.

Boope · 31/01/2025 17:47

He needs to pay tax learn how to do bank transfers.
My window cleaner comes at random times, puts a slip through the door and I send the money into his account.

mitogoshigg · 31/01/2025 17:36

Every regular window cleaner I've had has been the same, we now just book one off cleans from the man with the extra long pressure washer

Tootlebum · 31/01/2025 17:32

Why don't you negotiate a reduction on your windows or even a free clean for the use of your side entrance on a set day or with a 'phone call before hand. Everyone's a winner!

WoolySnail · 31/01/2025 17:30

EmpressaurusKittyBella · 31/01/2025 17:22

But the OP said ‘I just said we’re usually in every day but Friday but if he persists with Friday I usually won’t be in.’ & Nigel seems to have ignored her.

Of course he's ignored her, because he's decided he's doing that row of houses on a Friday and doesn't give a toss whether that works for op or not!