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AIBU?

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Original poster

A man called me stupid in front of my daughter

384 replies

Springsunshine28 · 31/01/2025 13:50

As I was exiting the lift with my two-year-old in the pram, another pram went out ahead of us. Since I was backing out, I didn’t realize they were still near the elevator entrance, and I accidentally bumped into the woman with the other pram. I was looking at my phone while maneuvering, but I immediately apologized. However, her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid." My little girl heard it and repeated, "Mum, are you stupid." I was absolutely fuming and really wanted to retaliate. I was so angry and told him that I already apologized and I think you're stupid and rude. I know I should have just ignored it but it really made me so angry.

OP posts:
Getitwright · 31/01/2025 18:35

whatcanthematterbe81 · 31/01/2025 18:29

Would you call them stupid tho?

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I can assure you the one that knocked me off my bike got a lot more than stupid. People who are incapable of not giving proper attention to the health and safety of others, including their own children are definitely challenged. And some of the worst go on to do a lot more than back into another person.

IPM · 31/01/2025 18:31

DiddlyDiddly · 31/01/2025 18:14

of course it does

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No it doesn't.

He didn't square up to her or threaten her.

He told his wife he thinks the OP is stupid and let's not forget, she was being stupid.

His sex has nothing to do with it.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 31/01/2025 18:29

Getitwright · 31/01/2025 18:24

Phone zombies are way up my list of “unintelligent and thoughtless. Regardless of what sex they are. 😉

Would you call them stupid tho?

Getitwright · 31/01/2025 18:24

Phone zombies are way up my list of “unintelligent and thoughtless. Regardless of what sex they are. 😉

namechangetheworld · 31/01/2025 18:18

Oh please. We all know if the question was

"A man pushed a pram into me while his eyes were glued to his phone, and out of frustration I called him stupid. AIBU?"

the answers would be unanimously "definitely not, he should have been more careful, what an ignorant dickhead, he deserved to be called worse, etc etc."

You did a stupid, thoughtless thing, hurt someone, and got called out. Take your eyes off your phone next time.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 31/01/2025 18:14

@IPM I realised I shouldn't have said man and woman. Knew that would get jumped on 😂 Regardless of sex, name calling is unnecessary

DiddlyDiddly · 31/01/2025 18:14

IPM · 31/01/2025 18:11

This is not the 1950s.

'Man/woman' has nothing to do with it.

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of course it does

IPM · 31/01/2025 18:11

whatcanthematterbe81 · 31/01/2025 16:58

She's admitted she was in the wrong but everyone falling over themselves to justify a man calling a woman stupid is rather bonkers. Is that how you all act to a mild inconvenience?

This is not the 1950s.

'Man/woman' has nothing to do with it.

tiltingatwindmillsagain · 31/01/2025 17:08

You should have been looking where you were going tbf but can’t blame you for answering back.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 31/01/2025 17:03

JandamiHash · 31/01/2025 16:50

It is because if OP was a massive 6’5 bloke who looked scary he’d no way have said that.

And “I didn’t say it TO you” is an excuse a school bully makes. He said it wanting OP to hear. I’d die on embarrassment if my DH behaved like such a prick

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He spoke to his wife
If OP chose to listen in, that's on her.

And, like I say, men do say shit to each other all the time. If anything he'd have been MORE aggressive. "Oi mate! Watch where you're fucking going."

polkalfie · 31/01/2025 17:02

I find the expectation for people to always be on their best high alert high functioning selves a bit weird. Do you lot never have a few seconds of not behaving exactly as you should? She was on her phone for a moment - so what.

But the same can be said for him. I'm not condoning his actions but they too could well be a reactive, ill thought out response in frustration.

SleepyHippy3 · 31/01/2025 17:00

Cerealkiller4U · 31/01/2025 16:39

She called him stupid also though??

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Yes, that’s wrong as well. She shouldn’t have been on her phone but she apologised right away so he shouldn’t have called her stupid and she shouldn’t have responded by calling him stupid back.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 31/01/2025 16:58

She's admitted she was in the wrong but everyone falling over themselves to justify a man calling a woman stupid is rather bonkers. Is that how you all act to a mild inconvenience?

W0tnow · 31/01/2025 16:54

JandamiHash · 31/01/2025 16:48

I find the expectation for people to always be on their best high alert high functioning selves a bit weird. Do you lot never have a few seconds of not behaving exactly as you should? She was on her phone for a moment - so what.

Exactly.

I can imagine the replies if this scenario were reversed. “I exited a lift and stopped immediately in front of it. A woman backed out of the same lift and bumped into me and my husband called her stupid as she was manoeuvring her pram out of the lift while looking at her phone and didn’t see me. She said he was rude.”

The thread would be full of “you stopped immediately on exiting the lift blocking the other people. You are the stupid one.”

Op, you described one of the many innocuous mishaps that come with being a human being living among other human beings and going about daily life. He was a total twat, and you seem like a perfectly normal person who unfortunately encountered him.

VoodooRajin · 31/01/2025 16:50

Boomer55 · 31/01/2025 16:47

Perhaps best to put your phone away at times.😊

Perhaps best for the impatient bloke to stop being rude and arrogant

JandamiHash · 31/01/2025 16:50

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 31/01/2025 16:46

He didn't even say it TO you. He said it to his wife and was overheard.

Men say shit to each other all the time. It's why like 90% of pub fights break out. Because men say shit to each other. It's not sexist.

It is because if OP was a massive 6’5 bloke who looked scary he’d no way have said that.

And “I didn’t say it TO you” is an excuse a school bully makes. He said it wanting OP to hear. I’d die on embarrassment if my DH behaved like such a prick

JandamiHash · 31/01/2025 16:48

I find the expectation for people to always be on their best high alert high functioning selves a bit weird. Do you lot never have a few seconds of not behaving exactly as you should? She was on her phone for a moment - so what.

Boomer55 · 31/01/2025 16:47

Perhaps best to put your phone away at times.😊

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 31/01/2025 16:46

He didn't even say it TO you. He said it to his wife and was overheard.

Men say shit to each other all the time. It's why like 90% of pub fights break out. Because men say shit to each other. It's not sexist.

Cerealkiller4U · 31/01/2025 16:39

SleepyHippy3 · 31/01/2025 13:55

Yes, it’s still not an excuse to call anyone stupid.

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She called him stupid also though??

Cerealkiller4U · 31/01/2025 16:39

Springsunshine28 · 31/01/2025 13:50

As I was exiting the lift with my two-year-old in the pram, another pram went out ahead of us. Since I was backing out, I didn’t realize they were still near the elevator entrance, and I accidentally bumped into the woman with the other pram. I was looking at my phone while maneuvering, but I immediately apologized. However, her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid." My little girl heard it and repeated, "Mum, are you stupid." I was absolutely fuming and really wanted to retaliate. I was so angry and told him that I already apologized and I think you're stupid and rude. I know I should have just ignored it but it really made me so angry.

So you’re cross because he called you stupid and your daughter repeated it

but then you told him in front of her that’s he’s stupid?

I mean……

Travail · 31/01/2025 16:38

You were being situationally unaware.

He was a nasty man.

Both of the above are true.

DiddlyDiddly · 31/01/2025 16:31

He was rude and should not have spoken to you that way. You were a little inconsiderate and should have been more aware of your surroundings.

In future, do not get upset if someone challenges you this way, just laugh and walk away. Nothing more disabling to the aggressor.

Blairwitch82 · 31/01/2025 16:31

He was rude and calling you stupid was nasty

I bet he would not of said it to a man.

DeclineandFall · 31/01/2025 16:28

Its annoying people are on their phones and distracted. Its also annoying when people exit lifts, escalators, stair wells, doors etc and stop dead paying no attention to people round them. A quick sorry by everyone should be adequate. And I absolutely agree with the pps who said that he wouldn't have called your stupid if you were a man. Good for you for answering back.