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Original poster

Is this acceptable from school?

58 replies

Lilliea · 31/01/2025 13:18

My son age 6 has some emerging needs. He struggles with focus, sensitive to sounds, sensitive to textures, needs to move all the time, lots of other things. He's being assessed for ADHD and autism. I've been having meetings witha school but its it's a lady who is pastoral care and our family support worker comes with. He's on a plan at school, the one that comes before an EHCP. The pastoral lady is great, said he could bring his ear defenders to school and also use his wobble cushion. I asked him if he used these but he was told he wasn't allowed, but it's being reported back to me that they are 'going well'. When the family support worker met with his teacher, she said they didn't use them because other children try and take them. This hasn't been fed back to me and I thought they were being used. The sendco has been invited to many meetings but she's never there. I've never met her other than at school gates.

Just not sure what to do. He asks for his ear defenders but has to put them away if the other children start acting up 'because they also want them'. This is what teacher said to family support worker.

Not sure why I'm even posting. Could just use some support. Am I asking for too much? He has no behavioural issues. Just his focus and sensory sensitivities.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilliea · 31/01/2025 13:36

Pineapplewaves · 31/01/2025 13:35

Surely all the teacher needs to do is sit the class down and explain that your DS needs to wear the ear defenders for health reasons and that they are not to touch them, in the same way that many children wear glasses and hearing aids, once it's explained to children what they are for they leave them alone. My 5 year old would understand that.

Could you make that suggestion to the school as it seems nobody has thought about it.

Honestly you're just echoing what the support worker said. She said its not good enough but I think I've read so many times about how hard it is for teachers that I'm scared to ask for anything.

OP posts:
FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 31/01/2025 13:36

I agree with @CaptainMyCaptain the kids need to be taught (by teachers AND parents) that some people need different things and that's that.

Unfortunately you only need to read crap on here day after day about the "perks" that go with having additional needs, to know where the kids get this attitude from.

@Lilliea I'd ask the school if the kids who are trying to take your son's possessions/adaptations are also getting letters home about them "being difficult".

Original poster
Lilliea · 31/01/2025 13:35

CaptainMyCaptain · 31/01/2025 13:32

I think the teacher should be able to tell the rest of the class the headphones and wobble board are for OP's child and nobody else is to touch them. I have done similar in a Reception class e.g. child can have biscuits snacks because they are diabetic, child needs own table mat and equipment for table activities. It's never been a problem.

This is what family support worker said. I just don't know what is and isn't OK to accept anymore. Feel like my child is just a nuisance to them because he needs more support. He thinks his teachers hate him. It's all just very hard atm.

OP posts:
Pineapplewaves · 31/01/2025 13:35

Surely all the teacher needs to do is sit the class down and explain that your DS needs to wear the ear defenders for health reasons and that they are not to touch them, in the same way that many children wear glasses and hearing aids, once it's explained to children what they are for they leave them alone. My 5 year old would understand that.

Could you make that suggestion to the school as it seems nobody has thought about it.

Pancakeflipper · 31/01/2025 13:33

Ask for a meeting with the SEND Lead, the class teacher and the Family Support Worker.

Get it put in your child's support plan. These are reasonable adjustments to help your child manage being in a school environment.

The school need to work on how they deal with the other children because your son isn't the 1st nor last child who finds a wobble cushion or ear defenders useful to regulate their sensory needs.

Keep all communication track able- so if you have a conversation with a member of staff face-to-face - email them later to say "thank you for the discussion about xxx earlier today, just to confirm that ...."

CaptainMyCaptain · 31/01/2025 13:32

I think the teacher should be able to tell the rest of the class the headphones and wobble board are for OP's child and nobody else is to touch them. I have done similar in a Reception class e.g. child can have biscuits snacks because they are diabetic, child needs own table mat and equipment for table activities. It's never been a problem.

Original poster
Lilliea · 31/01/2025 13:28

Octavia64 · 31/01/2025 13:23

The Senco in many schools co-ordinates all
The support for children with special needs. They rarely have the time to be at every meeting.

Pastoral support and family worker is normal, especially if he is not on an EHCP.

It sounds like there hasn't been good communication in the school - his headphones and wobble cushion have obviously gone in, and are being used a bit.

Wobble cushions are generally fairly unobtrusive but headphones can lead to other kids asking questions (usually along the lines of that's not fair I want some).

It's just frustrating when you're getting emails from the school saying he's been difficult because he's upset it's too noisy, but they're not using the ear defenders in his bag. I do understand though that it's tricky to manage. Just feel sad that he's struggling with noise all day. He really struggles with it.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 31/01/2025 13:23

The Senco in many schools co-ordinates all
The support for children with special needs. They rarely have the time to be at every meeting.

Pastoral support and family worker is normal, especially if he is not on an EHCP.

It sounds like there hasn't been good communication in the school - his headphones and wobble cushion have obviously gone in, and are being used a bit.

Wobble cushions are generally fairly unobtrusive but headphones can lead to other kids asking questions (usually along the lines of that's not fair I want some).