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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my toddler over-eating

63 replies

Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 09:43

DS is nearly 3 and ALWAYS hungry. He’s constantly looking for snacks or sitting up to the table to wait for his food (even if it’s not actually a mealtime).

He eats so much and I honestly have no idea if I’m over-feeding him or not.
I try to make sure his diet is fairly balanced and healthy but he has a massive appetite.
If we go to a party he makes a beeline for the snack table, and at the park he’s always there when his friend’s snacks come out.
I do make a lot of his snacks myself because it was costing a fortune and I also wanted to reduce how much salt and sugar he was having.

He’s very, very active (Walks/bikes/scoots everywhere. Does football, swimming and riding lessons every week. Spends a lot of time at the park running around with his friends and climbing).
He’s 98th percentile for height and 65th for weight so he isn’t overweight.

But he just eats so much and I don’t know whether to keep giving it to him or whether we need to cut back.

As an example, yesterday he ate:

Breakfast (7am): 1 slice of brown toast, 2 scrambled eggs. Pot of Greek yogurt with blueberries and a banana. Small cup of orange juice.

Snack (10am): 4 oatcakes with cream cheese, apple slices with peanut butter.

Lunch (12.30): Wholemeal pasta with bolognaise sauce.
Avocado, tomato, cucumber and mozzarella salad.
Satsuma.

Snack (3.30pm): Homemade banana, walnut and date cake.

Dinner (6pm): Salmon fillet, sweet potato wedges, broccolini, baby corn and mange tout.
Coconut milk chia pudding with mango and pineapple.

He drinks plenty of water throughout the day so I don’t think he’s thirsty.
He won’t drink any milk at all, so the only thing he has other than water is one small glass of juice/smoothie with breakfast.

It’s obviously hard to describe portion size, but it’s about enough to cover the bottom of child’s plastic plate from IKEA.

So AIBU to give him this much (and sometimes more if he wants it). I’m very aware that this is a lot of food for such a small child.

OP posts:
DinosaurMunch · 31/01/2025 16:42

Daisyblue2 · 31/01/2025 16:23

You are wrong, there is a lot of sugar in fruit,

Show quote history

On a constituent basis there's a lot of sugar. But
it's not free sugar and therefore is not harmful. Sugar in whole fruit isn't bad for teeth, doesn't cause blood glucose spikes, doesn't lead to obesity.

DinosaurMunch · 31/01/2025 16:37

I'd say that diet is healthier than 99% of kids his age. If he's hungry crack on.

If you think he's overweight then you could offer less variety at each meal - that much variety encourages eating more in total as it's not boring.

You might find his appetite fluctuates and reduces over time. One of my kids used to eat 2 salmon fillets or 5 fish fingers per sitting but now will eat about half a salmon or 2 fish fingers.

RaginaPhalange · 31/01/2025 16:33

My almost 4 year old is the same! He's taller than all his friends at nursery and in size 6-7 clothes.

Ragruggers · 31/01/2025 16:30

A great menu lucky boy if only other children were so fortunate.

Daisyblue2 · 31/01/2025 16:23

DinosaurMunch · 31/01/2025 16:19

It's categorically impossible to eat too much whole fruit. Whole fruit does not equal sugar

Show quote history

You are wrong, there is a lot of sugar in fruit,

Daisyblue2 · 31/01/2025 16:22

Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 09:43

DS is nearly 3 and ALWAYS hungry. He’s constantly looking for snacks or sitting up to the table to wait for his food (even if it’s not actually a mealtime).

He eats so much and I honestly have no idea if I’m over-feeding him or not.
I try to make sure his diet is fairly balanced and healthy but he has a massive appetite.
If we go to a party he makes a beeline for the snack table, and at the park he’s always there when his friend’s snacks come out.
I do make a lot of his snacks myself because it was costing a fortune and I also wanted to reduce how much salt and sugar he was having.

He’s very, very active (Walks/bikes/scoots everywhere. Does football, swimming and riding lessons every week. Spends a lot of time at the park running around with his friends and climbing).
He’s 98th percentile for height and 65th for weight so he isn’t overweight.

But he just eats so much and I don’t know whether to keep giving it to him or whether we need to cut back.

As an example, yesterday he ate:

Breakfast (7am): 1 slice of brown toast, 2 scrambled eggs. Pot of Greek yogurt with blueberries and a banana. Small cup of orange juice.

Snack (10am): 4 oatcakes with cream cheese, apple slices with peanut butter.

Lunch (12.30): Wholemeal pasta with bolognaise sauce.
Avocado, tomato, cucumber and mozzarella salad.
Satsuma.

Snack (3.30pm): Homemade banana, walnut and date cake.

Dinner (6pm): Salmon fillet, sweet potato wedges, broccolini, baby corn and mange tout.
Coconut milk chia pudding with mango and pineapple.

He drinks plenty of water throughout the day so I don’t think he’s thirsty.
He won’t drink any milk at all, so the only thing he has other than water is one small glass of juice/smoothie with breakfast.

It’s obviously hard to describe portion size, but it’s about enough to cover the bottom of child’s plastic plate from IKEA.

So AIBU to give him this much (and sometimes more if he wants it). I’m very aware that this is a lot of food for such a small child.

I think for a really active child thats a good amount of food, i really though you were goinf to say much more.

DinosaurMunch · 31/01/2025 16:19

LivelyHare · 31/01/2025 12:35

He is eating far too much sugar, which is fueling his hunger. That’s way too much fruit in one day on top of cake and pudding.

It's categorically impossible to eat too much whole fruit. Whole fruit does not equal sugar

Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 16:17

@Apileofballyhoo you’re probably right about the snacks, especially when he’s on
his own with me (if there are other children around and they have snacks then he asks to share or gets quite distressed if he doesn’t have one too).

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 14:56

Topjoe19 · 31/01/2025 14:49

Growth spurt? I find my 2 primary aged DC go through times where they eat non stop & other times they barely eat anything

It might well be a growth spurt, although he eats like this pretty consistently and has had a big appetite since he was a baby (his nurse referred to him as ‘the biggest, hungriest baby in NICU’ 😂). He is always growing though 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 14:54

YellowHatt · 31/01/2025 14:22

I’d swap the orange juice for milk and agree with PP to ditch the puddings. Or serve pudding alongside the main meal to be eaten before or with it, to get him out of the habit of asking for food after his meals.

Can you try a few days of real protein & fibre heavy lunches and see if that makes a difference, just out of interest? It sounds like a great menu though OP!

Unfortunately he hates milk (it’s the only thing he doesn’t like apart from kale, parsnips, green peppers and ‘spicy’). I probably could just give him more water instead of juice though.

It’s a good point about giving him the fruit/pudding alongside his main meal. We never had pudding when I was little so I’m not really sure why I started doing it with him (probably because he was still hungry or was asking for snacks quite soon after meals).
You’re right that it might be better to just give it alongside the meal though so he doesn’t feel that every meal should have a pudding (even if the pudding is just fruit/yoghurt or something similar).
I think I avoided it because if he could see yoghurt he wouldn’t want anything else, but he has got better about this as he’s got older (at nursery he has a yoghurt with his breakfast and he still eats everything else).

You’re also probably right that I should increase the protein he has at lunchtime- it does tend to be his lowest protein meal and that might be why he gets hungry mid afternoon.

OP posts:
Topjoe19 · 31/01/2025 14:49

Growth spurt? I find my 2 primary aged DC go through times where they eat non stop & other times they barely eat anything

elrider · 31/01/2025 14:34

Sounds like one of mine. Now older and still eats loads compared to their friends, but rake thin (not sure about now but was always 99.6th+ percentile height and something like 70ish for weight). Still food obsessed, but eats healthily like yours. I wouldn't worry.

LegoHouse274 · 31/01/2025 14:27

Honestly, you say he's growing well (very tall), healthy weight, active and he has a well balanced diet - stop worrying! He's fine. Let him eat what he needs. If any of the above changes then obviously re-assess.

Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 14:23

@LivelyHare @verycloakanddaggers
he does eat quite a lot of fruit but I do try to pair it with healthy fats and protein.

The cake and pudding aren’t as bad as they sound. He ‘helps’ me bake every week and the cake is only sweetened with banana and a few chopped dates, there’s no extra sugar or syrup/honey etc and it’s wholemeal flour mixed with almond flour.
The chia pudding is just chia seeds and unsweetened 100% coconut milk, and then a bit of fruit on top.

I will take it on board though and offer veggies and hummus as a snack sometimes instead (especially if he’s already had a lot of fruit that day).

You’re also right that I could probably cut the juice considering that he eats plenty of other fruit and veg. I might stop giving it every day (I don’t like to restrict things too much, and I try to make sure that most of what I offer is healthy whilst still allowing some things that he just likes).

OP posts:
YellowHatt · 31/01/2025 14:22

I’d swap the orange juice for milk and agree with PP to ditch the puddings. Or serve pudding alongside the main meal to be eaten before or with it, to get him out of the habit of asking for food after his meals.

Can you try a few days of real protein & fibre heavy lunches and see if that makes a difference, just out of interest? It sounds like a great menu though OP!

Apileofballyhoo · 31/01/2025 14:21

I used to laugh at the healthy portion sizes guidelines when DS was a toddler, he's been eating adult portions since he was about 3. Never overweight, under if anything. I would try to increase meal sizes rather than constant snacks though, as it's easier to balance meals than snacks, and it's easier for you too. I'm not against snacks either, just not constantly, I don't think it's a great habit and teeth aren't getting a break either.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/01/2025 14:15

If he’s very active and not overweight, I’m not sure why you’re concerned.

TBH he sounds like my Gds, who was a human hurricane at that age, always hungry, and is still much the same at 8, rarely still. He will eat a big breakfast of Weetabix, two fried eggs and toast and half an avocado - and then say he’s hungry 20 minutes later on the way to school - and scoff 2 bananas!

Funnily enough he was a real porker of a baby, a roly poly Michelin man, but lost it as soon as he started running around.

Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 14:13

@VivaVivaa @RabbitsEatPancakes @Onlyvisiting @TheCosyOpalFox @ServantsGonnaServe @BarnacleBeasley @flippertygibbet4

Thank you, that’s really reassuring. He eats so much more than most of his friends that it’s helpful to hear that other kids eat similar amounts and that it evens out as they get older. I was fairly confident what I’m giving him is healthy but it’s the quantity!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkleandglitter · 31/01/2025 14:00

Cluedoless · 31/01/2025 09:56

He's a healthy weight and it sounds as if he is having reasonably healthy food and snacks so I wouldn't worry about it and I wouldn't cut back especially not when he's so active

A few things to consider if you are worried:

  1. Does he ask for so much food or do you keep offering it to him? Maybe don't offer or dont put so much on his plate and see what he says.
  1. Does he eat while playing, watching videos or while he's otherwise distracted?I.e. is he stuffing himself mindlessly?
  1. What are his portion sizes like?
  1. Is he at nursery or preschool? Is it possible that he doesn't eat much there and therefore is very hungry at home?
  1. Is this a new development? Could he be going through a growth spurt?

Again, I think at this age if he's active, a healthy weight and Eating healthy food I wouldn't worry at all. It's better than the alternative but then My dd is severely underweight and hates food so maybe I'm biased.

Thank you for responding. To answer your questions:

  1. He usually asks for the snacks, I don’t offer them unless he wants them. For main meals I normally put the main bit on the plate (e.g. the pasta or the salmon) and then he helps himself to sides from bowls in the middle of the table. He is pretty good at leaving stuff if I have put too much on his plate, and he’ll ask for more if there’s not enough. I don’t routinely offer pudding but he’ll often ask for fruit or yoghurt.
  2. He eats all his meals at the table with me and his baby sister (and DH if he’s home). Snacks he’ll often have whilst we’re out but I usually get him to sit down whilst he has them (mostly because I’m worried about him choking if he’s eating whilst running around). He doesn’t nap so if he’s tired he’ll sometimes have the afternoon snack whilst he’s watching TV/doing stickers/drawing, but that’s unusual and I still give him the same portion.
  3. It’s hard to describe portions. I’d say 1/2-2/3 of what I’d have (but I don’t usually snack or have pudding/extra fruit). If we’re out he’ll eat all of a kids meal or half an adult meal (although he’ll probably still ask for an ice-cream afterwards 😂)
  4. He is at nursery 3 full days per week. He eats even more there. He has catered lunch and he’ll usually ask for seconds of both the main and pudding (they once called to ask if it was ok to give him thirds!) He’s very sociable and hates being left out if other people are eating.
  5. He’s always been a big eater, but it’s definitely increased over the last few months.
OP posts:
RabbitsEatPancakes · 31/01/2025 13:45

If he's a healthy weight then it's fine.

I've a very small nearly 3yo and she would eat similar amounts. In fact my first thought was the breakfast was small!

She could have a few portions of pasta easily- we have the ikea plates too and I refill them with most meals. If I make a lasagne she often has the same amount as her dad!
I've cooked a 600g piece of salmon and her and her 5yo brother can easily finish it between them!

TheCosyOpalFox · 31/01/2025 13:41

Wow I’m coming to your house for tea…

of he’s not overweight then he’s not overeating. I admit I would struggle to eat all that for breakfast, but the rest of the day sounds perfectly balanced, and it’s about portion sizes too. We don’t put as much on our 3 year olds plate as we do our own.

Onlyvisiting · 31/01/2025 13:39

If he is a healthy weight and eating a balanced diet then why would you restrict his calorie intake? Food is fuel, for moving and growing. If he isn't overweight then clearly he is eating an appropriate amount for his needs.
Possibly he is due a growth spurt?

VivaVivaa · 31/01/2025 13:36

Mine was like this as a toddler. Although his weight centile was higher - he was something like 91st centile for both height and weight. While he didn’t look out and out overweight, he was certainly solid and I was worried. He also ate a very good, healthy range of food. Would far rather have a banana than a piece of cake for pudding for example.

Trust the process. Mine is now a pretty lean nearly 5 year old. You would not pick him out in a crowd at all. His appetite has slowed a fair amount and he certainly has more preferences now! He’s still something like 91st for height but his weight has stalled to 75th ish, maybe below. Apparently my DH and all of his siblings were like this as DC (ie, absolutely massive) and they are all now tall and skinny.

Strawber · 31/01/2025 13:34

My 3 year old son is the same and I have been googled the same query recently, my 2 girls aren't like this so I'm not used to it.

My sons wakes up and with his first breath asks for food. It's constant

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 31/01/2025 13:34

He’s not overweight, he’s active and he eats a really good range of healthy food. I wouldn’t worry