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Original poster

14yo odd quiz at school- do I complain

183 replies

Cornecopia · 31/01/2025 07:01

My ds came home yesterday and said that he had to fill in an online form ( not just him the whole of his year) and the questions were- what is your sexual orientation, are you comfortable in your gender, have you had sexual experiences, have you ever sent or received inappropriate pictures.
I understand some questions are safeguarding views. But bloody hell the sexual orientation etc why on earth is that relevant to my sons schooling?? I just feel his privacy has been really invaded and he doesn’t know himself whether he’s is straight/gay or whatever- I did ask him if there was. ‘Prefer not to say’ option and he said yes but the teacher said not to use that!
I just don’t really know what to think about it all

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:38

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 07:35

The teacher absolutely has no right to do this. If half the class want to use the ‘prefer no to say’ option it raises questions about why it has not been made clear to them that they whole survey is optional. It is absolutely ok for half the class to do this.

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she was probably trying to counteract all the parents who are so suspicious of everything and telling their children to never fill in surveys/give information without understanding the bigger picture

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 07:35

MargaretThursday · 31/01/2025 07:29

The teacher may have asked them to try not to use the
Prefer not to say/unsure option
Because otherwise half the class will use that for every answer.
It was probably anonymous and used for data collection rather than anything for the teachers. We did a few of them (on paper) at school for external agencies.

The teacher absolutely has no right to do this. If half the class want to use the ‘prefer no to say’ option it raises questions about why it has not been made clear to them that they whole survey is optional. It is absolutely ok for half the class to do this.

Porcuporpoise · 31/01/2025 07:34

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:05

If it's the NHS one, it's about pupil wellbeing and flagging up issues. Suicide rates amongst young people are increasing and this is about tackling that.

How does it do that?

noblegiraffe · 31/01/2025 07:33

Where do you think we get data from about things like gay pupils are more likely to report being bullied?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:32

verycloakanddaggers · 31/01/2025 07:21

But doing so ethically is important, and young people must have the option not to respond or use the prefer not to say option.

This survey can only be optional, not a legal requirement, which must be made clear to participants.

A teacher pressuring a child to declare their sexual orientation, for example, would be a serious safeguarding issue and warrants complaint. If, and it is an if, the teacher said they shouldn't use 'prefer not to say' the teacher is unethical and requires training.

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Well the teacher wasn’t checking their answers so presumably they could fill in whatever they wanted/leave it blank etc. The

IAmNeverThePerson · 31/01/2025 07:32

Ds2 aged 15 but with ADHD doesn’t know his sexuality. He is not even vaguely interested in working it out.

MayaKovskaya · 31/01/2025 07:31

BananaNirvana · 31/01/2025 07:09

It was on line so if it was the NHS one the school wouldn’t get sight of the responses. 🙄 Let’s not rush to judgment.

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A wise response 👍

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:31

BlueSilverCats · 31/01/2025 07:17

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 yes, but you can't make it mandatory, it has to be voluntary and also, by taking one of the answers out as an option it skews the data so it's pointless.

Of course you can’t take an option out. Did the teacher actually say that though, j think we need to know their exact wording to understand if that was interpreted correctly.

MargaretThursday · 31/01/2025 07:29

The teacher may have asked them to try not to use the
Prefer not to say/unsure option
Because otherwise half the class will use that for every answer.
It was probably anonymous and used for data collection rather than anything for the teachers. We did a few of them (on paper) at school for external agencies.

MsGoodenough · 31/01/2025 07:29

Plenty of people don't know their sexuality at 14 yet.

Silvertulips · 31/01/2025 07:25

It’s a national survey. Do you not see the result highlights every year? How else are they supposed to gather information for planning?

I just feel his privacy has been really invaded and he doesn’t know himself whether he’s is straight/gay or whatever

He does know, so do you! Being gay isn’t a choice or lifestyle option. It’s who they are.

LemonTT · 31/01/2025 07:25

VotingForYourself · 31/01/2025 07:18

I would be complaining about the teacher telling them not to use the prefer not to say. It is not on to get kids to out themselves before they are ready

i would ask the school for an explanation rather than complain without establishing what exactly was said and done.

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 07:22

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:08

Why would you complain if it's about flagging up issues and offering support ?

How would they be offered support with an anonymous survey? The survey itself is a safeguarding issue and a huge breach of privacy. No one should be having to write about such private matters sitting next to classmates who could see their screen. Plus questions like ‘are you comfortable with your gender’ are nonsense anyway - did they define gender? Do they mean am I comfortable with societal stereotypes associated with my sex (girls, do you like pink?)?

verycloakanddaggers · 31/01/2025 07:21

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:15

Collecting data (anonymously) is very important for understanding society and making appropriate decisions

Show quote history

But doing so ethically is important, and young people must have the option not to respond or use the prefer not to say option.

This survey can only be optional, not a legal requirement, which must be made clear to participants.

A teacher pressuring a child to declare their sexual orientation, for example, would be a serious safeguarding issue and warrants complaint. If, and it is an if, the teacher said they shouldn't use 'prefer not to say' the teacher is unethical and requires training.

Bearbookagainandagain · 31/01/2025 07:21

I'm surprised to hear so many complaints from parents about things like this happening without the parents being informed (here and on other threads).
Is that really how things are done here? or is it up to the school?

When I was in school (not in the UK), anything like the NHS questionnaire would have involve a message sent to my parents to let them know (I'm not talking about asking permission,.just informing).

VotingForYourself · 31/01/2025 07:18

I would be complaining about the teacher telling them not to use the prefer not to say. It is not on to get kids to out themselves before they are ready

BlueSilverCats · 31/01/2025 07:17

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 yes, but you can't make it mandatory, it has to be voluntary and also, by taking one of the answers out as an option it skews the data so it's pointless.

rosemole · 31/01/2025 07:16

Safeguarding is not asking intrusive personal questions, that's violating boundaries. Safeguarding is spotting signs of abuse/neglect/bullying/worrying behaviour etc.

Sexuality is private.

Bearbookagainandagain · 31/01/2025 07:15

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:10

Safeguarding is absolutely the school's business and that is what this questionnaire is about, I've seen it and used it in school

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But they didn't ask anything about children feeling unsafe or distressed.
Asking about sexual orientation and inferring there might be a safeguarding issue would be stupid.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:15

rosemole · 31/01/2025 07:08

I definitely wouldn't be happy about this. None of the school's business. How did your son feel about it?

Collecting data (anonymously) is very important for understanding society and making appropriate decisions

Adamante · 31/01/2025 07:14

SharpOpalNewt · 31/01/2025 07:12

I would complain if it was being portrayed as obligatory when it clearly isn't.

It seems obligatory - he “had” to fill it in and wasn’t allowed to use the “prefer not to say” option.

Adamante · 31/01/2025 07:12

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:08

Why would you complain if it's about flagging up issues and offering support ?

Because this is a free country, even for teenagers, and their business is their own. No one should be forced to impart private information, anonymous or otherwise, for whatever reason. All such surveys should be optional with no issue made with refusal.

SharpOpalNewt · 31/01/2025 07:12

I would complain if it was being portrayed as obligatory when it clearly isn't.

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:10

rosemole · 31/01/2025 07:08

I definitely wouldn't be happy about this. None of the school's business. How did your son feel about it?

Safeguarding is absolutely the school's business and that is what this questionnaire is about, I've seen it and used it in school

BananaNirvana · 31/01/2025 07:09

rosemole · 31/01/2025 07:08

I definitely wouldn't be happy about this. None of the school's business. How did your son feel about it?

It was on line so if it was the NHS one the school wouldn’t get sight of the responses. 🙄 Let’s not rush to judgment.