14yo odd quiz at school- do I complain

You reminded me of a time years ago that a school counsellor was asking students if they "ever felt hopeless about their future". My DC started to wonder ‘do they’ and became upset. So many poorly worded or incautiously worded personal questions and surveys. Sometimes deliberately worded. Yet, asking questions is not a neutral act. It is a powerful exercise esp for children as it can easily introduce or implant ideas that may have never occurred to them otherwise.

If the survey was about if they preferred broccoli to cauliflower they would still be entitled to op out or put prefer not to say.

I wouldn’t over think it. These type of things are usually completed in a rush by a slightly frazzled teacher. One member of the class might deliver an impromptu protest speech about the school or government, depending on the personalities in the class and how engaged they are. Most teenagers are pretty sceptical about them and will tick it a bit randomly (or only tick ‘prefer not to say’) because they are teenagers and think everyone in the world will be looking at their answers. Then afterwards there will be loud discussion, where they all talk over each other, about how outrageously intrusive the questions were. Then they will head off to their lessons where they will grumble to the next teacher about it, in order to put off getting on with any work.

When they get home they will dramatically complain to their parents about it, knowing full well that they didn’t tick anything that they didn’t want to tick.

I would tell my child that they can always tick the ‘prefer not to say’ box and that would be my parenting done.

Teachers will know if they have pupils who are likely to answer most questions as "prefer not to say" out of laziness. It really does matter what words were used, but encouraging students to answer the questions would be OK with me.

It’s absolutely unreasonable for children to be asked whether they’re comfortable in their ‘gender’ when no teenager is comfortable in their body and the concept of gender is undefinable without the use of rigid sex stereotypes. If those were the actual words used this is very worrying.

Speak to the teacher. There may he a valid reason for the questionnaire. I would also point out that she should not be telling the pupils not to tick a particular option. I would expect these replies to be anonymous, if that is the case, your son could answer freely that he'd prefer not too say. Knowing 14 year olds, if it's anonymous they'll have a bit of fun with their answers, anyway - I know I would have!

Official or not, it's a red flag to me when any adult asks a 14yo what their sexual orientation is - which is basically a slightly politer way of asking "Whom do you like having/want to have sex with?"

By all means ask whom they are romantically attracted to - even whom they 'fancy' - but asking an underage child about their sex lives is highly concerning.

@sonnunny I've googled various things, but can't find what questionnaire you might be referring to. Do you have a link?
I don't recall my son telling me about it (he's nearly 16 and year 11 so maybe he didn't do one).

Very relevant. People are getting worked up over something they do not know anything about. They’re just imagining stuff.

It's likely the My Health My School survey,which is a national data capture and anonymous. It supports funding and allocation of resources. There are 'prefer not to say' options.

Parents should be informed and have the option to withdraw. There's a parent info section on the website.

You don't seem to know very much about it and given all you have is your child's version of events why not call school and ask for their version of events. Then you can consider both sides and then decided if you want to complain...

I assume you are being sarcastic with this post?

"Go Karen" ... Oh dear.

The reason why ‘prefer not to say’ is in the survey are it is required in order for the survey to be ethical. To let young people know they do not need to share information they might be uncomfortable sharing. Telling them they must through emotional manipulation (suggesting they are responsible for bullying and mental health) is bullying and undermines their mental health as well as the survey itself.

Be grateful that it wasn't the Scottish government's 1 as that asks about sex, sexual acts and rape and sexual abuse with no care or counselling for traumatised children who are expected to disclose the csa that they've endured in class and then get straight back to work

No, it’s only one facet of who they are. And while some know from a very young age they’re gay, others take a lot longer to figure it out. He’s 14! I know I didn’t have my sexuality figured out a that age.

Hello Mr President, have you not got other things to do?

It is not relevant what the survey says because the same principles hold true regardless of the questions.

Those of you who work in safeguarding should know that you should not be coercing children to share intimate details about themselves they are not comfortable sharing. That they are entitled to say ‘no’ and telling them otherwise is a safeguarding breach in itself.

@Littoralzone "Would you say the same if they were encouraged to ignore other answer options?"

I don't understand. I see nothing wrong with saying "Try to answer every question- the more data the survey gets the better"After all, we do want to tackle young people's mental health and bullying, don't we?

All I'm saying is it's always important to check what was actually said.

@Littoralzone have you seen it ?

@Littoralzone pretty bloody obvious, as those of us who work in safeguarding know exactly what is asked and how the data is used. So much misinformation in this post

How is that relevant?

Remind your child, they do not need to think about the answer deeply, they can opt out of the whole survey or put ‘prefer not to answer’ without even reading the question if they want to.

How many of you commenting have actually seen this questionnaire ?

Make not too much fuss about it.
And remind your child that they are free to use UNSURE as long as they've thought about the answer deeply.