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Original poster

14yo odd quiz at school- do I complain

183 replies

Cornecopia · 31/01/2025 07:01

My ds came home yesterday and said that he had to fill in an online form ( not just him the whole of his year) and the questions were- what is your sexual orientation, are you comfortable in your gender, have you had sexual experiences, have you ever sent or received inappropriate pictures.
I understand some questions are safeguarding views. But bloody hell the sexual orientation etc why on earth is that relevant to my sons schooling?? I just feel his privacy has been really invaded and he doesn’t know himself whether he’s is straight/gay or whatever- I did ask him if there was. ‘Prefer not to say’ option and he said yes but the teacher said not to use that!
I just don’t really know what to think about it all

OP posts:
Ginnyweasleyswand · 31/01/2025 09:09

Seems like a good opportunity OP to suggest the school discuss ethics and abuse of power. No teacher should be directing children away from a 'prefer not to say' option and the entire thing should be optional. Children should not be asked about their sexuality without a clear opt out and their and their parents' consent.

GeneralPeter · 31/01/2025 09:07

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:08

Why would you complain if it's about flagging up issues and offering support ?

For one thing, he's being invited to admit to a criminal offence (indecent images) and being told by the teacher he mustn't refuse to answer. And given the subject matter, the school cannot promise anonymity either.

Ginnyweasleyswand · 31/01/2025 09:07

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:38

she was probably trying to counteract all the parents who are so suspicious of everything and telling their children to never fill in surveys/give information without understanding the bigger picture

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How dodgy - why would she see parents as the enemy? It's none of her business either what parents say to their children about data protection nor whether the children choose to participate or not. Given the way data is stolen left right and centre and the multiple data breaches that happen daily any parent teaching their child this is entirely within their rights and responsibilities as a parent.

She's a very dim/ poor teacher if she's just blindly telling children to give up their data whenever asked.

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 09:06

CousinBob · 31/01/2025 08:58

Was this an anonymous survey? As long as it didn’t contain personal data, I assume it was one of those population surveys that have been always been used in schools to gather information.
Leading to headlines reporting like, for example, ‘60% of 14 year olds report they have been bullied in school’etc

The whole thing was highly sensitive personal data.

DrBlackbird · 31/01/2025 09:01

MixedClassBaby · 31/01/2025 08:18

It's likely the My Health My School survey,which is a national data capture and anonymous. It supports funding and allocation of resources. There are 'prefer not to say' options.

Parents should be informed and have the option to withdraw. There's a parent info section on the website.

That website seems to suggest the survey was designed by Leeds council, not the NHS. That the data collected in this particular survey is for each individual school, not the NHS. Is that your understanding. I’m not clear how it supports funding though. Perhaps for Leeds council?

Though the survey itself is not publically available due to copyright (which I find odd). I thought this bit ‘what can I do with the data’ was interesting particularly being encouraged to involve students in data analysis:

What can I do with the data from the My Health My School Survey: You can analyse the survey data for each year that you have completed, or you can analyse a year/year group that you are particularly interested in and highlight pertinent issues or concerns, as well as areas you believe your school is doing well in. This can then be compared to your local authority average, and from 2018/19, to national data to assess where your school fits within these.
If you choose an area or several areas to action plan to improve, you can use our action plan resource to help you. We would also encourage you to involve pupils/students as much as possible in the analysis and also in student leadership.

They also say this:

  • We will publish the anonymised results on Leeds Data Mill & Data Mill North as open data.
  • The data will be shared with Leeds City Council, Public Health, the School Nursing Service and third parties including research and evaluation partners (currently but not confined to University of Leeds and Leeds Beckett University).
CousinBob · 31/01/2025 08:58

Was this an anonymous survey? As long as it didn’t contain personal data, I assume it was one of those population surveys that have been always been used in schools to gather information.
Leading to headlines reporting like, for example, ‘60% of 14 year olds report they have been bullied in school’etc

1apenny2apenny · 31/01/2025 08:55

I'm with you OP, all this collecting data for the common good and we should all be happy to help stuff/be good citizens only applies when they want it to. Meanwhile schools agree, behind parents backs, to use a different name and pronouns for your child and go along with pretending and affirming they are now a boy/girl different to birth sex and don't tell you. Safeguarding evidently.

Given governments are so ineffective with using data, cover things up, don't support parents who ask for help, I minimise giving any out.

Greywhippet · 31/01/2025 08:54

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 31/01/2025 08:27

Official or not, it's a red flag to me when any adult asks a 14yo what their sexual orientation is - which is basically a slightly politer way of asking "Whom do you like having/want to have sex with?"

By all means ask whom they are romantically attracted to - even whom they 'fancy' - but asking an underage child about their sex lives is highly concerning.

Sadly, many many many 14 year olds are having sex. You may not like it but it’s true. And it’s a rare 14 year old who doesn’t know who they ‘fancy’ or have crushes on

Smallsalt · 31/01/2025 08:53

I told the school that my kids were not to do the survey.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 31/01/2025 08:52

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 31/01/2025 07:15

Collecting data (anonymously) is very important for understanding society and making appropriate decisions

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If that is its purpose then that that should have been explained to the children beforehand. As should the prefer not to answer choice. As should filling in the form is entirely voluntary, not compulsory.

I hope it wasn’t described as a quiz. It should have been described as a questionnaire or data gathering.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 31/01/2025 08:51

If it's the BeeWell survey, there's a massive issue with numerous aspects of it.
It's a commercial enterprise harvesting children's data with some very dubious practices about confidentiality and plans in the future use this data and match it to a child's adult health and other data! See this discussion

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5209872-the-beewell-survey

It's also unhelpfully steeped in gender ideology:

https://www.transgendertrend.com/beewell-pupil-wellbeing-gender-identity-indoctrination/

Pupil wellbeing or gender identity indoctrination? The #BeeWell survey

#Beewell surveys ostensibly collect data on mental health and wellbeing but their methods are pure indoctrination in gender ideology.

https://www.transgendertrend.com/beewell-pupil-wellbeing-gender-identity-indoctrination

Lovelysummerdays · 31/01/2025 08:51

I remember having to fill that in myself 30 years ago. I’d never had sex and they were asking about anal/ oral. It could be better put together. I think there should be a have you ever participated in sex if no skip to …

I do think we should be much more discouraging of under age sex in this country. I remember being utterly shocked at the idea that there children my age would be saying yes to these questions.

Greywhippet · 31/01/2025 08:51

It’s a questionnaire all schools use, it’s important to collect data in order to be able to support young people. Complaining would be a very peculiar thing to do

Horatioed · 31/01/2025 08:50

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:08

Why would you complain if it's about flagging up issues and offering support ?

I’d complain because some ideas are bad and this is one of them. Just because the premise of the idea is good doesn’t mean that its application is good. This form could easily add to the distress of already distressed adolescents. Privacy is very important at this age and “prefer not to say” should be a heavily emphasised option.

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 08:49

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 31/01/2025 08:46

And ideally there should be some kind of "don't know/don't care" option as well, which is not the same as "prefer not to say". There might be one, I haven't seen the questionnaire.

Or (sarcasm hat on!) they could ask "how many hours a day do you spend perseverating on the correct label for your gender identity or sexual orientation?" as that would be a fine indicator for pupils needing MH support.

I agree. ‘Prefer not to say’ suggests one of the options is correct but you are not saying which. It gives validity to a question which may not be valid - like ‘what is your gender?’

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 31/01/2025 08:46

And ideally there should be some kind of "don't know/don't care" option as well, which is not the same as "prefer not to say". There might be one, I haven't seen the questionnaire.

Or (sarcasm hat on!) they could ask "how many hours a day do you spend perseverating on the correct label for your gender identity or sexual orientation?" as that would be a fine indicator for pupils needing MH support.

m00rfarm · 31/01/2025 08:40

Silvertulips · 31/01/2025 07:25

It’s a national survey. Do you not see the result highlights every year? How else are they supposed to gather information for planning?

I just feel his privacy has been really invaded and he doesn’t know himself whether he’s is straight/gay or whatever

He does know, so do you! Being gay isn’t a choice or lifestyle option. It’s who they are.

And maybe they have not got to the point where they know. Just because YOU say they should know is entirely irrelevant.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 31/01/2025 08:37

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 08:30

If the survey was about if they preferred broccoli to cauliflower they would still be entitled to op out or put prefer not to say.

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Yeah, but we still don’t know exactly what happened do we?

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 08:36

DrBlackbird · 31/01/2025 08:31

You reminded me of a time years ago that a school counsellor was asking students if they "ever felt hopeless about their future". My DC started to wonder ‘do they’ and became upset. So many poorly worded or incautiously worded personal questions and surveys. Sometimes deliberately worded. Yet, asking questions is not a neutral act. It is a powerful exercise esp for children as it can easily introduce or implant ideas that may have never occurred to them otherwise.

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100% this

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 31/01/2025 08:35

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 31/01/2025 08:27

Official or not, it's a red flag to me when any adult asks a 14yo what their sexual orientation is - which is basically a slightly politer way of asking "Whom do you like having/want to have sex with?"

By all means ask whom they are romantically attracted to - even whom they 'fancy' - but asking an underage child about their sex lives is highly concerning.

What are you on about. Attraction and having sex aren’t the same thing. I think you are overreacting.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 31/01/2025 08:34

"Prefer not to say" is an answer. If a child wants to tick "prefer not to say" for every question then that is their right and they are completing the questionnaire correctly. The teacher should have said so.

Littoralzone · 31/01/2025 08:33

CarefulN0w · 31/01/2025 08:28

Teachers will know if they have pupils who are likely to answer most questions as "prefer not to say" out of laziness. It really does matter what words were used, but encouraging students to answer the questions would be OK with me.

Laziness is as legitimate reason as any to not want to complete an optional survey.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 31/01/2025 08:33

sonnunny · 31/01/2025 07:08

Why would you complain if it's about flagging up issues and offering support ?

Exactly right and since it’s national why exactly do you want the school to do.

MH around sexuality is a big thing and asking kids if they are okay is important.

So many get so upset that the schools aren’t doing enough and when the NHS ask questions to identify those who may need help it’s wrong.

Who really cares? Move on.

CurlewKate · 31/01/2025 08:32

@Hoardasurass
Be grateful that it wasn't the Scottish government's 1 as that asks about sex, sexual acts and rape and sexual abuse with no care or counselling for traumatised children who are expected to disclose the csa that they've endured in class and then get straight back to work"

Wow-that sounds awful. Do you have a link?