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AIBU?

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Original poster

Refusing to travel with 4 month old and 2 dogs

59 replies

FeeTie · 30/01/2025 23:24

Just really don’t know what to make of this situation!

We had our first child 4 months ago.

Husbands family all live 2 hours away (realistically 3 hours plus with a stop for dogs/baby and the M25)

Husbands parents have visited, however his siblings (all significantly older) have not, despite being invited to come to visit new member of the family numerous times.

We are now expected by the parents to visit them to allow his siblings to meet our baby.

AIBU to think that if they can’t make the effort to see us, we are not going to them!!

Why should we face the upheaval and stress of going on a trip to the parents just so the siblings can meet our baby?

OP posts:
HundredPercentUnsure · 30/01/2025 23:58

It's much easier to travel with babies when they're tiny, sleep, don't eat solids, aren't mobile and can't yet fiddle with the car seat strap or reach the car door handle. Just saying.

Do you like his siblings? I get a vibe that you don't really...

cadburyegg · 30/01/2025 23:58

4 months old is a reasonable travelling age tbh. They're not newborns anymore but nor are they running around into everything. It'll be a lot easier to travel with your baby now than it will be in a year's time!

It makes sense to go to them because a bunch of them live close to each other.

Are there older children in the family? It's tricky for families with school age kids to travel in term time. 4 month olds are fairly portable!

Choccyscofffy · 30/01/2025 23:57

Ablondiebutagoody · 30/01/2025 23:26

Upheaval and stress? It's a couple of hours in the car, not a mission to Mars.

Much easier for the people without a newborn and 2 dogs to make the trip then.

Choccyscofffy · 30/01/2025 23:57

YANBU. Of course people should come to see the newborn if they want to, not the other way round.

If they’re not bothered about seeing the baby then that’s fine, but they shouldn’t expect a visit.

Keroppi · 30/01/2025 23:54

couldn't you meet in the middle at a nice pub or country park once little one is older and the weather is nicer

do the siblings have young kids and do they all live in same area? I'd just drive down in morning and drive back in the evening so then you don't need to take the dogs really?

You've done it then and the onus is then on them to meet up going forward

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/01/2025 23:49

I think you'd be better arguing the principle that if they want to meet your child, they can make the effort and come, otherwise they'll just never meet

I wouldnt bother bringing up the journey as they'd try and find ways for you to navigate it

NameChange30 · 30/01/2025 23:48

Meh. DH and I travelled a lot further with DC1 to visit his parents and wider family, can't remember how old he was exactly but only a few months. I'd suck it up tbh, if there are lots of them living near each other, it makes more sense for you to do the journey.

We don't have dogs though, I think that's a bigger issue than the baby! Would PILs be ok for you to take the dogs??

Notgivenuphope · 30/01/2025 23:27

Personally I prefer to be the one making the trip sonI can choose when to leave rather than have a load of people descend on my house, using my loo, eating all my food and overstaying.

Ablondiebutagoody · 30/01/2025 23:26

Upheaval and stress? It's a couple of hours in the car, not a mission to Mars.