Refusing to travel with 4 month old and 2 dogs

Nah, assuming they are able bodied that could get fucked.

Set up a Whats app group and s0end them all an invite for Easter or a "half birthday" bash or whatever at yours.

When they decline say let us know when IS good to come meet the baby.

If the parents keep on, tell them they are harassing the wrong offspring....

I can't believe the amount of people telling you to just go!

You've invited the siblings, they've chosen not to bother coming to meet their niece/nephew, so why the hell should you make the time and effort to go to them just because the in-laws "expect" you to?

Nope!

If they want to meet baby and develop a relationship, they can come to you for now. OR if you are keen for them to meet, offer to meet half-way.

Personally, I wouldn't be bothered. And before anyone says anything, I made a 13hour trip with my 12 week old so that my Dad and wider family could meet her. My sibling however, had been only a 1 hour journey from me when she was 3 weeks old, and didn't bother coming to meet her first niece.

I don't see the point in forcing relationships with those who clearly cannot be bothered.

People are so busy sharing their view this isn’t a particularly big trip to take there doesn’t seem to be much recognition of the fact the onus is still on the op to make the journey. If your partner’s siblings haven’t made the effort though I don’t see why you should have to op.

It’s not that far, you can make an effort to do it one time

Is the upcoming dripfeed that you'd be making the journey in a Vauxhall Corsa?

If not, then I think you are making unnecessarily heavy weather of this. It's not that long a journey, you can plan your breaks for the dogs/feeds and the baby will probably sleep most of the way. Chill out.

If you aren't wanting to go see your DH's family then don't go. But 2-3 hours (including a decent length stop) with a 4 month old and 2 adults is completely reasonable, so no need to make it out to be some horrifying, arduous ask.

Traveling doesn't get easier when the baby gets mobile, so I'd go visit my PIL since they came last time and let go of the need to make some point to the siblings or turn it into a standoff. You go to visit your PIL and all the siblings have a chance to come by and meet your little one in one go without each of them individually traveling to you and the downside of this is... what? They didn't really have to earn it? Extended family just doesn't need to be that grudgingly transactional.

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/product-information/car-seats-and-sids/#:~:text=It%20is%20recommended%20that%20you,seated%20position%20for%20too%20long.

Information on why long journeys should be avoided with young babies

It is a lot for some. I don’t think it’s right to be making new mums feel inadequate because they don’t feel up to it.

Yanbu. Babies should not be in a car seat for any longer than absolutely necessary. 3 hours driving is way too long untill they can control their own heads consistently

I travelled to see family 3 days after giving birth so the eldest family member could met his grandchild.

At 6 weeks we drove 8 hours to Scotland fur similar reasons. We also had 2 dogs.

Seems it's more about not wanting to bother rather than the actual drive.

Well if she doesn’t want to go she doesn’t have to. Regardless whether thats a 10 min drive or 10 hours.

But to make it about a 4 month old and a 2 hour drive like that’s excessive or unusual is silly.

I'd say we can come in a few months when dc is a bit older or you are welcome to come to us.

@Choccyscofffy
I was thinking framing it so the purpose of the trip is to see the grandparents, not any siblings who drop in whilst they're there. TBH the siblings may be in families with 2 parents working full time, school age DC with weekends full of activities. It may actually be just too complicated for them to lose a whole weekend day to come visit the OP at her home.

Up to you and what you feel comfortable with. With our 1st we travelled 3.5 hours at maybe 4 or 5 months (with 2 small dogs) with 1st. With our 2nd we travelled that same 3.5 hours at 3.5 months (with 2 kids and 2 dogs).

It was okay for us -- bit of a hassle with toilet stops but not too bad. Both babies and dogs travel well so that factored into it.

It’s not OP who wants to show them the baby so why does she need to make the journey? If they want to see the baby, they can come down.

4 months!

We are going to an abroad wedding with 2/ 3 hour drive then planes, then drive with an 8 week old and a toddler. Yes that is mad but it’s going to happen somehow.

So sorry YABU.

I don’t view that as a long trip tbh. Could someone look after the dogs for you?

What were the reasons for siblings not visiting?
Are you close? are they even that interested?

Two hours in the car would be a nuisance for me to be honest, it’s nothing for some I know. DD gets car sick, so do I, it can be crammed with the dog. We only do it for holidays… 😳 and even then we stop and have a pub lunch.
Meeting half way, pub lunch minus the dogs (or with) sounds nicer.

If the older siblings are not bothered by a new niece or nephew, why does OP need to make the effort to get the baby to them?

We used to regularly do a 2 and a half hour trip with our kids when they were babies to visit the in laws. 2 hours is not that long a journey.

It’s not a massively difficult trip for either side surely? I would try to reframe it not as “being forced” or “giving in” but as choosing to facilitate your child’s relationship with that half of their family if they won’t. Yes it would be nice if they made the effort to travel, no it’s not fair if it’s always you. But this is one of those situations where you have to choose whether to be “right” or whether to make the effort to introduce your child to grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins who will hopefully provide love and support to them as they grow. Maybe they’ll make the effort next time, maybe not. But you’ll know you have done what you can.

YANBU

Your baby- your choice. Don't feel pressured into doing anything that you don't want too. It can really affect you later on and you will resent them for it.

Reply to his parents and advise that until Little one is older and you feel comfortable travelling with them then you will not be going there, however the invitation is still open for people to visit you.

One of my Little ones Aunty's didn't meet them until they were 10 months old at a family event. They were invited multiple times and choose not to come.

If they wanted to meet them, they would make the effort.

Maybe reframe it in your mind as returning your in iaws' visit. If others want to pop by while you're there, then I'd still welcome them. I do get why you're disappointed, but I don't think it's a hill to die on. One of my boys had bi-weekly checkups at a hospital three hours' drive away for his first year - not ideal, obvs, but manageable.

It's no big deal surely, I wouldn't call that a long drive?
So the older siblings aren't that bothered about meeting the new baby, TBH I wouldn't be that bothered by a new niece or nephew either. My first grandchild I am hopeful/excited for (on the horizon but at least 2 years off at a guess ) It's exciting for you of course, but I wouldn't wind yourself up about this, go and see the grandparents and if the others drop in I suppose that's their version of making an effort.

It's easy for everyone involved. If OP doesn't want to, totally understandable, but claiming that it's a stressful upheaval is silly.