Refusing to travel with 4 month old and 2 dogs

This would be a no from me. Unless DH is really keen to show his siblings the baby? His parents’ opinion irrelevant really. They’re not your boss.

I would invite the siblings again, and the parents, in a clear way (email thread?). Make it some nice event (pub lunch?), be very welcoming and excited. If they still can’t be bothered, and there’s no reason they can’t travel - then it’s on them.

It sounds as though it is your PILs who are desparate for your DH's siblings to meet the baby, rather than the siblings themselves, otherwise his siblings would have made the effort to visit.

I certainly wouldn't make the journey if you find it too difficult when they obviously aren't that bothered about meeting your baby.

It's not really your DH's parents business to tell you that it is your responsibility to visit his siblings.

Do you want them to meet your baby? If you're not bothered then don't go. Personally I would have done but I'm quite close to my family

No fuck them. They should have come to you.

I'd be telling you to get over it, if it was a family event and they actually made effort to come down and visit you after the baby was born, but they didn't. So fuck them!

I know!

Just tell mil you have sent the siblings your address and leave it there..

“We are now expected by the parents to visit them to allow his siblings to meet our baby”

Are his parents in charge of you then? It’s your decision, not theirs. Tell them that the people who should be making the effort to visit are his siblings, not you. If it’s important to them to meet the baby, they’ll come.

Yanbu, just say no.

Your mad as a hatter 🤣🤣

You're absolutely right OP. Why didn't the parents force the siblings to go to you instead? Honestly, i wouldn't make that journey. They can see my baby on his first birthday, unless they wouldn't be able to make it to that either! Yanbu

If your dh wants to go i would be supportive. If he also agrees it is too much hassle then fair enough to decline. I wouldnt block my dh from us making the effort if important to him.

Dont be annoyed at offer from parents as for many them hosting and seeing all siblings at once rather than having a houseful to host or multiple visits being a lot easier. They arent wrong to ask you.

If it was just PILs, I'd say they should come to you and not the other way around. But given that there's a lot of family near them, I don't think it makes sense to insist all the family travels (presumably separately) to you.

Do they really want your ddogs there? Just say they don't travel well but you are in xyz days...
Or do the journey knowing they can make the next trip. Road goes both ways and all that. Nobody can argue with that can they?

I would sort out dog care then go. It gets all the siblings crossed off the baby viewing list in one go. Otherwise you'll be saying DH's siblings are coming on three consecutive weekends and it's too much.

A two hour drive as an adult with no pets and babies is much easier.

With pets and a baby a 2 hour drive is much longer.

It's a no brainer to me.

I mean, I don’t think 2 hours is a very long drive but I understand your reasoning, if they are that desperate to see baby they can come to you.

Is it possible to meet in the middle for a walk and lunch to appease both sides?

It sounds like you don't like your DH family. If you DH wants to do I think the right thing to do is go. Afterall he is the father as much as you are the mother. Sometimes you have to compromise.

Yes its more effort for you to go to them but they for one reason or another have not visited. I am very pro family and making an effort even if it is me that has to make the effort. I flew across the world with the 7 month old on my own so my DH's family could meet your DS. Was it more of a hassle for me to go there....100% but at the end of the day it was the right thing to do for my DS to met his family. I always drive the 3 hours for my DB and SIL to see my 2 DCs even though they do not have kids. Sometimes you have to facilitate the contact and if it doesn't work out at least you can say you tried.

Why are posters minimising the fact that for the OP it is a hassle?

We aren't all the same. Maybe the dogs aren't good travellers or maybe they aren't welcome at her family's house.

If they want to see your baby, they can travel to you.

Unless you are planning to stay for about 2 minutes, this is too long to leave the dogs.

Exactly. Complete madness to me that people voted op is unreasonable.

If the inlaws want to visit the baby, they have an invite and they can come. Unless they are disabled I would not be putting myself out for them. I always go to visit a newborn/young baby rather expect them to come to me (and I’m disabled and find travel difficult). Deranged. The cool wives and mils will come and say your unreasonable but I’d let it wash over you. Reading between the lines it sounds like siblings don’t care and won’t be pushed into visiting, but mil/pil want the family photos so trying to summon you.

Put the dogs in kennels for a day or couple of days so you don't have to worry about them and your relatives don't either. I had a dog for a long time, found a lovely home from home for the dog and used it frequently).
2 hrs for a baby will be fine.

I think it's the dogs that complicate it do you have to take them too?
My DD travelled from abroad with her 3 month and two year old. Sometimes by herself. The three months old was much easier to travel with.
But if you don't want to go that's fine too. It's your decision.

I think if your husband wants to go you need to do it. But I would not take the dogs as well. Get a dog sitter or use kennels.

Just leave the dogs at home?

I have dogs but sometimes they just complicate matters. Just get someone to check on them during the day.