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AIBU?

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To not want to go and stay with my friend when her marriage is in trouble?

35 replies

Flowers665 · 30/01/2025 21:40

My friend is having a really rough time in her marriage. I'm doing everything I can to support her but I live far away which makes it harder because I cant pop round, meet her for walks etc. The only way of seeing each other is going to stay with each other, she can't meet halfway because she has a young child. The things she tells me about her husband are awful. I've only met him a few times and the last time I went to stay I didn't feel like he wanted me there. She wants me to go and stay again but I just don't feel very comfortable at all. But also feel like an awful friend if I don't go.

OP posts:
Flowers665 · 30/01/2025 21:48

Flatandhappy · 30/01/2025 21:43

You are unlikely to be welcome (and would probably be the cause of another row between them) so no, I wouldn’t stay. Is staying nearby in a B&B or Travelodge and spending time with her an option?

I offered to stay in a hotel instead to make it easier for her/them but she insists I stay with them and obviously I don't want to say that I'd rather stay in a hotel and hurt her feelings.

OP posts:
slipperypenguin · 30/01/2025 21:47

Book a cheap and cheerful hotel

TriangleLight · 30/01/2025 21:47

I’d go. She needs you

Choccyscofffy · 30/01/2025 21:46

No, I wouldn’t go.

Could you invite her to come and stay with you?

Namenamchange · 30/01/2025 21:46

How long is half way? I stayed with a friend when she had marriage problems, it was awful and I wouldn’t recommend it. Maybe get her to come to you, with child, it will be more of a break for her and you will be able to talk

GreyAreas · 30/01/2025 21:46

No, don't put yourself in that position. She needs to act, not expect you to be her rescuer.

Shouldbedoing · 30/01/2025 21:45

Or even a Family room, child as well. A girls' weekend. She probably needs this really badly.

meganorks · 30/01/2025 21:45

Can she just come to yours again?

Shouldbedoing · 30/01/2025 21:44

If you don't go to visit, then he wins. He has successfully isolated her.
Could you afford a Travelodge?

Flatandhappy · 30/01/2025 21:43

You are unlikely to be welcome (and would probably be the cause of another row between them) so no, I wouldn’t stay. Is staying nearby in a B&B or Travelodge and spending time with her an option?