DP hasn’t invited me

Baby sitter/child minder??

No way would I be looking after his kids that night.

Did you read the post?

😂😂
fairycakes1234

He has His kids so He can't go!!

That's too sensible, you have to have a big drama first x

@Bigredchair yanbu; he is for assuming anyone other then he, will look after his kids. All on him. Stand firm.

I’d just say to him , I’d like to go too , can we get a sitter ? 🤷🏻‍♀️

How bout asking him to explain the thinking?

Why would 15 and 16 yr olds need a sitter ?

I already engaged and then you started back again, repeating yourself and getting fired up, I pointed out she's probably well over it, how is it patronising??

No engagement. Straight to a poor and transparent attempt to belittle by being patronising. Perhaps a discussion forum isn't for you.

Your post is so long I didn't read it sorry. I think you are a bit too invested in this and overthinking it, honestly calm down, you'll give yourself high blood pressure, you're outraged on behalf of the OP and lashing the partner or husband or whatever he is, and where is the OP now, probably out for a drink with her husband, partner or watching a movie having forgotten all about this🤣 chances are they've resolved it xx

I'd tell him to change the nights he had kids for once. What would he do if you had something contagious?

You think the person who hasn't read the thread is the person with common sense? Have you read the thread?

Partner has spent weeks arranging a leaving party for someone the OP also used to work with.
He has invited other people who have since left the company.
He arranged it for a weekend when he has his children.
He has rearranged things with his ex in the past so they can both have some flexibility but chose not to this time.
Until a couple of days ago OP thought she was going to the party too.
When she asked about this her partner said she wouldn't be able to go because he had his children this weekend.
At no point has she been asked if she is free or minds looking after his children.
She has been excluded from the party based on the assumption she will his babysitter.
He's going out for a piss up after the party.

There is nothing over the top about telling him she won't do it because she doesn't like the way he's handled it.

You said the older kids should look after the younger two "no arranging anything". Isn't asking making arrangements? From your post it sounded like you thought she should dump his kids with her teenagers just like he thought he could dump his kids with her without asking if she minded.

They're his children, he should be the one to sort out childcare. Being taken for granted is not funny and if women are divorcing because they won't tolerate being treated like the nanny, then good for them.

If the DP asked the teens last night and they said yes, the OP might be at the party right now but if he didn't ask them or they weren't available, she's probably at home looking after his children rather than being at a party with her ex colleagues.

The 'problem' is bigger than whether she attends or not, it's the assumption that she will take care of HIS children at short notice while he goes out to a party that he planned on the weekend he was having his children. He's also going to be having a 'big night out' after the party but hasn't arranged child care. It seems to me as though the problem is the DP's lack of consideration and respect for the OP.

Flip the script and say it was you doing the exact same thing. You are going to a party and he is not, You are going to expect him to childmind all night (without asking if it’s okay). You both know the peiple but you don’t want him to come and arrange children to stay on that same date so it is done and dusted… he would be quite rattled methinks.

if you aren’t so bothered, since a lot of work celebrations can be borefests especially once people have consumed too much alcohol.. you could plan a weekend away solo or with a girlfriend as your treat for missing out.

Tell your DP that you have arranged a sitter for your children and will be attending. And hopefully he can get a sitter in time for his.
but I’m petty.

Well if the older ones have plans well and good, but I know my teens would babysit no bother for a fee, so maybe, just maybe it won't have to be such a big deal, OP has already said she'd like to go for a few hours so maybe, just maybe that might happen and she will then happily go home to the 4 kids, problem solved??

What if the older ones have plans for this evening? He hadn't even asked them if they're free. Also, it's not just for a few hours as the younger ones' father is going on afterwards to 'a big night out'. What does he think is happening with his children then?

Of course should have invited you.

Sounds like he prefers you as a babysitter than a partner.

Hope he can sort a sitter so you can go to the party OP.

Finally, someone at last with common sense, the older kids mind the younger two, they both go, both happy and have a great night, doesn't have to be WW3, what a very stressful life if you were to listen to majority of posters🤣

How the f is she treating her kids with disrespect🤣 Why, by asking if they'd mind the kids, Jesus pick your battles, it's almost hilarious if it wasn't so sad..leave him, hes an arsehole, you're a doormat, he's having an affair, so funny....its no wonder the divorce rate is so high in England judging by the amount of angry women here🤣
.

Why would she treat her own children with the same disrespect her partner is showing her?

Why is it her job to sort out childcare for his children at all?