Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been called to a meeting with HR - any advice?

119 replies

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

OP posts:
Original poster
Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:32

I'm holding off on calling them, as I believe that if they bring the inevitable forward, I’ll lose three days of my notice period. I might as well use this weekend and Monday/Tuesday next week to look for jobs while they’re still paying me.

The one thing I can’t understand is that there aren’t many people who can do my job due to its specialised nature, and it took them a long time to recruit me. Without sounding arrogant, I know I’m performing well, so would they really fire me, just because my face doesn't fit

OP posts:
Original poster
Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:27

Thank you all for the helpful advice. I've been looking for a new job for a while and have been shortlisted for two roles this week. If neither of these opportunities works out, I’m concerned as it took me eight months to find my current position. I’m reasonably senior and specialised, which adds to my worries. I sense that the writing is on the wall due to the difficult atmosphere with my boss.

OP posts:
Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 30/01/2025 18:03

Give them a call tomorrow and ask what it is about so you can relax this weekend. You won’t be getting fired. You’ll be ok.

TheRedDuck · 30/01/2025 17:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheRedDuck · 30/01/2025 17:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Jaxhog · 30/01/2025 17:56

SpringleDingle · 30/01/2025 16:23

Unless you are on probation I'd doubt they would fire you without having gone through a disciplinary process first. You should receive warnings, be put on a PIP etc.. Unless it's gross misconduct they shouldn't move straight to firing. I say shouldn't as many small businesses get away with this but in large corporations like mine it would be impossible.

Redundancy however is something I'd call a meeting like this for. In the UK it should be a 3 month process to make you redundant.

Good luck, I hope it is nothing.

Don't you believe it! Large orgs will bully you out if they really want to. But it's unlikely this would happen without some sort of lead up.

If you get there and it looks like this is the way it's going, say nothing and leave. You are entitled to have a colleague with you if it's any kind of disciplinary meeting.

MN2025 · 30/01/2025 17:56

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

I’d be emailing to find out what the meeting is about? It is an investigation meeting? They usually don’t tell you if it is beforehand?

Could be that they are setting up a performance management programme for you….. If you think they are being unfair then you can raise this in the meeting…. Is your company unionised? You could organise them to attend with you…

If you hate the job then I would be channeling my energies right away right now to look for something else - even if it is a temp role whilst you find something permanent..

DoYouReally · 30/01/2025 17:50

I have had the twice.

One boss was sick and would I cover temporarily.

Second time was as part of an investigation into another colleague for something they shouldn't have done. I was in the office that day but had at a meeting at the time so wasn't a witness, although listed as a potential one.

Fink · 30/01/2025 17:47

Go with an open mind, it could be anything. But

a) if you're not already in a union, join one now (before the meeting)
b) if it turns out to be something serious, say you will not be continuing the meeting without representation and arrange to reschedule for when your union rep or similar can accompany you
c) if it's something you're happy to continue the meeting over but needs you to make a decision, do not be rushed into it. Take away any proposal and have time to think and talk it over.

ClematisBlue49 · 30/01/2025 17:46

That has happened to me twice, and on both occasions it was because my boss was leaving and I was being asked to step up / cover more work.

There's great advice above on how to prepare, but it's also fine to play it by ear and see what they have to say, and then ask for time to consider whatever it is. Try not to worry (hard, I know), perhaps make a list of possible outcomes and steps that you might take in terms of finding a new direction. That will help you take some of your power back and reduce anxiety.

Best of luck. If they are letting you go, I hope you end up in a job that you enjoy and with a better manager. Usually these things turn out for the best.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 30/01/2025 17:46

If it was anything too worrying I think it would be done straight away. We recently had to call someone in to investigate an issue and they had 24 hours notice so they didn’t do a bunk/ go off sick. Personally I would raise with HR that you’re not prepared to go into a meeting without knowing what it is about. My guess would be they are not happy with your performance and you will be put on a performance plan.

RudbekiasAreSun · 30/01/2025 17:44

Whatever that is, don't go into any panic mode. Life is for living

Firestonlee · 30/01/2025 17:36

Email HR and ask for more details and make it clear in your email you are suffering with anxiety due to this. This covers your arse and they’ll crap themselves x

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 17:36

StasisMom · 30/01/2025 17:23

I'm not an HR expert, but the fact the meeting is just under a week away makes me think it's nothing too urgent. Might it even be someone else has complained about the boss and they want your take?

Agree, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, if you find your boss is difficult there is a high chance there are a lot of other employees who feel the same

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2025 17:30

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 17:17

Insist on seeing a meeting agenda before proceeding.

If you have a union let them know.

At the meeting I would sit there quietly and let them say what they have got to say. Write down everything they say. Don’t react. Let them talk themselves out.

If it’s anything bad I would say « that’s a lot to take on board and I need to consider my response. Could we end this meeting now and continue this discussion tomorrow so I can gather my thoughts. »

That will buy you some thinking time / time to take legal advice / time to speak to your union rep.

Consider creating an email trail following the meeting if that would benefit you. « Following on from our meeting this afternoon I note that you raised concerns about (xyz). Do let me know if I have misread any aspect of your points raised. » Then after any subsequent meetings do the same. Often meetings with no agenda are set up to prevent paper trails being created.

Remember that you have a right to see certain documents containing your personal data. Look on the ICO website for how to make a data subject access request. It’s free. (This may be useful or maybe not, depends what they say.)

You can speak to ACAS about employment issues.

OP has been there 11 months. Unless she has protected characteristics they can pretty much terminate her at any point, and cite any reason.

May09Bump · 30/01/2025 17:28

I had similar and it was to review whether I'd successfully completed my probation period, and I had. HR was just there as a sort of oversight - when is your probation up? Obviously it can go either way.

DaisyDukesAuntie · 30/01/2025 17:28

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 17:17

Insist on seeing a meeting agenda before proceeding.

If you have a union let them know.

At the meeting I would sit there quietly and let them say what they have got to say. Write down everything they say. Don’t react. Let them talk themselves out.

If it’s anything bad I would say « that’s a lot to take on board and I need to consider my response. Could we end this meeting now and continue this discussion tomorrow so I can gather my thoughts. »

That will buy you some thinking time / time to take legal advice / time to speak to your union rep.

Consider creating an email trail following the meeting if that would benefit you. « Following on from our meeting this afternoon I note that you raised concerns about (xyz). Do let me know if I have misread any aspect of your points raised. » Then after any subsequent meetings do the same. Often meetings with no agenda are set up to prevent paper trails being created.

Remember that you have a right to see certain documents containing your personal data. Look on the ICO website for how to make a data subject access request. It’s free. (This may be useful or maybe not, depends what they say.)

You can speak to ACAS about employment issues.

This is great advice.

HR Director here.

My advice would be ....

Don't agree to anything on the spot (they may offer you money and ask you to take a settlement agreement to a solicitor for a review), but always best to say that you need time to reflect and consider. If they are doing something underhand, skipping a process (which many employers will do where there are no unfair dismissal rights due to length of service), they may offer a financial settlement to offset this. If so, I wouldn't accept anything before consulting a solicitor.

Have you raised a grievance about your manager?

It might be worth asking whether the meeting is one where you are able to have a Trade union representative or a colleague with you. there are rules about this in the ACAS code and it may give you a clue as to the kind of meeting you're being invited to. Failure to allow you proper notice, proper prep time and access to a representative could be procedural failures.

Check your employment contract and be familiar with what notice they, as your employer, would need to give you as the employee. Presumably you're not in your probation period? Unless you're being summarily dismissed for gross misconduct you will be entitled to work your notice or will be paid for your notice.

I second what other people have said about asking for specifics re the purpose and objective of the meeting, whether there is any documentation that will be referred to in the meeting that you need to see beforehand to review.

Take notes in the meeting, don't be afraid to ask them to slow down what they're saying so that you can take your own notes or ask for a break if it becomes overwhelming.

Best of luck

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 30/01/2025 17:25

A friend of mine experienced this, and was eventually fired. I would ask if you need someone else with you to protect your interests, as my friend didn't do this, and the bosses then lied about what was said and done at the initial meeting.

Doggymummar · 30/01/2025 17:24

They have said it's nothing to worry about, but HR are present. Does your manager usually need HR in meetings they hold? If that's usual, fair play. Where I have worked HR would only be involved for disciplinary or performance issues, but your invite should be clear on that.

ElizaMulvil · 30/01/2025 17:24

Take advice from your Union. They will have the experience to advise you.

StasisMom · 30/01/2025 17:23

I'm not an HR expert, but the fact the meeting is just under a week away makes me think it's nothing too urgent. Might it even be someone else has complained about the boss and they want your take?

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 17:23

DancingNotDrowning · 30/01/2025 16:55

Im afraid its almost certainly a termination scenario, if it was anything else you’d be provided with notice of the details.

It’s very common for senior roles to be terminated without notice/pip etc.

You’ll simply be told that things aren’t working out and then you’ll negotiate the cheque. Prepare for that and remember you don’t need to say anything at the time.

Im afraid its almost certainly a termination scenario

I highly doubt it, they informed her it was just an update meeting and it was nothing to worry about….why would you automatically assume it’s regarding a termination?

DazzlingCuckoos · 30/01/2025 17:21

Acc0untant · 30/01/2025 16:35

Almost a week is a long time to notify someone in advance if they're being sacked.

I had a similar situation about 5 years back. Worried me for days, especially as I loved the job and thought I was doing well. Turns out my manager had a cancer diagnosis and would be stepping down with some (not all) of their duties and wanted to hand over to me until they were well enough to return. It was done as a meeting with HR because they didn't want to advertise internally as a secondment or temporary promotion as to not invite questions about where my manager was going, not until they'd come to terms with it properly.

This is a perfect example of how it really could be anything.

You might find that if you find your manager difficult to work with, so do other people, and he's been side stepped or is leaving and they want you to take over.

As much as I appreciate it's easier said than done, there's really no value in speculating or worrying too much as they're not going to give anything away in advance of the meeting.

What you can do in between though:

  • make sure your CV is up to date and ready to go to agents, just in case
  • review your contract and staff handbook. As PP have said, they can get rid of you within 2 years, but they have to follow their own policies and procedures to do so. If there's a process in there about the termination of your employment, make sure you know what it is to question whether they're following it.

While you can't take action for unfair or constructive dismissal when you've been employed somewhere for less than two years, you can take a claim for wrongful dismissal if they don't follow their own procedures correctly.

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 17:21

Having said that, it sounds as if you don’t like the job. Have you considered your next moves?

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 17:19

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

Aside from the meeting next week, if you hate your job and your boss is a difficult micromanager I would think about leaving

Why are you still there?

Regarding the meeting, if they told you it’s nothing to worry about then I wouldn’t worry about it, I don’t think they will fire you after saying that, I doubt that it will be a completely positive meeting or else why would they be calling it so be prepared for some criticism and possibly start looking around to see what other jobs are out there.