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Original poster

Been called to a meeting with HR - any advice?

119 replies

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 16:16

(Name change in case any of my colleagues recognise me)

I’ve been called into the office on Wednesday next week for a meeting with my boss and HR. The meeting title is vague, and when I asked what it was about, I was told it was just an update meeting with nothing to prepare. I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be amiss.

There’s no question about my performance, but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate. I tend to keep my distance and only approach him when necessary, and I avoid any work social events.

I’m concerned that I may be let go simply because I don’t seem to fit in. I’ve been with the company for 11 months in a senior role, and while I’m not devastated since I hate the job, I’m worried about being out of work and finding another position. I’ve never been fired before, and I feel a bit anxious about it.

Any advice on how to handle the meeting?

OP posts:
quaversimpson · 30/01/2025 21:05

Possibly either

  • trying to move your role / teams
  • there’s been a complaint about someone you work with
  • restructure
  • redundancy
echt · 30/01/2025 21:02

Factchecking7 · 30/01/2025 20:51

Replies are quite dramatic, could be something really boring, go with an open mind and see what it's about. Take action then as necessary, they've said nothing to prepare for so just go along🤷‍♀️

There is nothing good about calling someone to meeting with no agenda.

At best it's professionally discourteous, at worst it wrong foots the employee. Nothing to prepare for? HmmThey've plainly prepared by calling it.

Babbitbaddit · 30/01/2025 20:58

Last time I had one of those meetings I got told I might be made redundant… and then I was made redundant

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 30/01/2025 20:55

If its not the worst news and its some kind of warning, I would-

  • make copious notes and email them back to them as a record after the meeting
  • ask for specific examples of things that haven't gone well and ask what approach they would have preferred you to take
  • make sure any new targets are specific and check how they will be measured and how often they will be monitored

It might be useful to write down examples of good things you've done, targets you've exceeded, feedback you've had, extra work you've been involved with etc just in case you need them for any reason in case your mind goes blank

donnylassy · 30/01/2025 20:53

Hopefully it's not what you think which will give you more time to consider your options

Panham · 30/01/2025 20:52

Have you been given the opportunity to have anyone else in the meeting with you to support you such as a colleague? It's a long way off which in one way is correct to give you time to prepare in a disciplinary situation but as that is not the case I think its unfair to keep you hanging on and would insist on knowing what it was about or more clarification. If it is redundancy there's a whole selection process to go through unless its just you! is the company in trouble do you think! On the up side it might be a bonus and confirmation of your one years probation!

Factchecking7 · 30/01/2025 20:51

Replies are quite dramatic, could be something really boring, go with an open mind and see what it's about. Take action then as necessary, they've said nothing to prepare for so just go along🤷‍♀️

BountifulPantry · 30/01/2025 20:50

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2025 17:30

OP has been there 11 months. Unless she has protected characteristics they can pretty much terminate her at any point, and cite any reason.

Show quote history

Yes thank you I am well aware of that.

My advice stands.

Birdie280125 · 30/01/2025 20:42

I spent past year thinking that my boss does not like me, turns out he thinks highly of me and put my name forward for promotion.

saraclara · 30/01/2025 20:42

I asked if I should be worried, and I was told that I shouldn’t be.

Would HR really say that if they were about to make OP redundant?

PigeonInFlight · 30/01/2025 20:40

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/01/2025 17:12

Unless youve got a protected characteristic they can dismiss you without you having any recourse to an employment tribunal.
I would be looking for another job and/or getting in first about the inappropriate behaviour.

As protected characteristics include race, sex and age, it would be pretty difficult to find anyone who doesn’t have one.

Agapornis · 30/01/2025 20:36

Sneezeless · 30/01/2025 16:56

If it does turn into an unofficial disciplinary tell them you are ending the meeting and ask for them to reschedule with union rep. I have done this before.

Exactly this. Find out the real reason, then postpone it until you can arrange a union rep or other similar support.

MyDeftDuck · 30/01/2025 20:34

"..........but I find my boss very difficult to work with; he’s a micromanager and often inappropriate."

OP, you should make detailed notes of how and when your manager behaves inappropriately.

MyOhMelody · 30/01/2025 20:11

I can’t help much but I hate it when companies do this, I work in HR and any meetings where I can’t divulge the reason I pop in the diary max 1-2 hours before so there is less worrying for the employee. Otherwise I’ll tell them the reason if they’re not expecting it.

Whyherewego · 30/01/2025 19:54

They've said it was urgent and not to worry when you asked. If it were a disciplinary then they'd need to have informed you of such including the option to be accompanied and a copy of the policy.
So maybe try not to worry? You clearly won't be sacked !

BigDeepBreaths · 30/01/2025 19:45

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:32

I'm holding off on calling them, as I believe that if they bring the inevitable forward, I’ll lose three days of my notice period. I might as well use this weekend and Monday/Tuesday next week to look for jobs while they’re still paying me.

The one thing I can’t understand is that there aren’t many people who can do my job due to its specialised nature, and it took them a long time to recruit me. Without sounding arrogant, I know I’m performing well, so would they really fire me, just because my face doesn't fit

Is it a large firm OP or small?

I am in a very similar position to you. Specialised role which i am good at and work damn hard at. They would be buggered if i left as they are all lazy and dont listen to me! I dont get along with my boss, no dramaI just avoid him but there is an atmosphere. I expect they might offload me at some point as they did similar to another colleague earlier this year. Its a small business and a couple of huge egos at the top just can’t handle anyone who doesnt treat them like they are a god. I hate it but the market is tough and the only roles are FT and I really need PT for my family.

Go in as prepared as you can be, have a think about what cards you can play but do not play them at that first meeting. If you have any evidence on emails etc, make a log of these or get files you need (as permitted by co rules) in case they immediately suspend your access next week.

Lalalol · 30/01/2025 19:37

Since you’ve only been there 11 months they can really do anything. However, in my experience, if this was about redundancy/firing they wouldn’t give you a week’s notice re the meeting. You’d get the invitations that day or the day before

Rather than having it hanging over your head all weekend I’d contact HR and just bluntly say you don’t want this worrying you all weekend so could they give more information

Corporatepreggolady · 30/01/2025 19:13

Hello, I'm very sorry but this sounds like redundancy or termination. Ask for clarity on the purpose of the meeting and if it is about either performance or tenure at the company, request that you bring someone which is normally fine.

Ask as many questions as possible. Record the meeting on your phone. Tell them you are already considering your legal options and would like to negotiate a settlement. If it's a big company they'll still probably ask you to sign an NDA (even after not long) which is your bargaining power for a stronger settlement

MounjaroOnMyMind · 30/01/2025 19:03

If they say anything at all about you not being a team player, then say that your boss is inappropriate so you avoid going to social events.

Wishfishy · 30/01/2025 19:01

Seconding that - be accompanied by union official.

MJconfessions · 30/01/2025 19:01

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:32

I'm holding off on calling them, as I believe that if they bring the inevitable forward, I’ll lose three days of my notice period. I might as well use this weekend and Monday/Tuesday next week to look for jobs while they’re still paying me.

The one thing I can’t understand is that there aren’t many people who can do my job due to its specialised nature, and it took them a long time to recruit me. Without sounding arrogant, I know I’m performing well, so would they really fire me, just because my face doesn't fit

Yeah it’s a good a reason to fire as any other. Hence constructive dismissal being a thing once people have employment rights

Sapienza · 30/01/2025 18:45

SpringleDingle · 30/01/2025 16:23

Unless you are on probation I'd doubt they would fire you without having gone through a disciplinary process first. You should receive warnings, be put on a PIP etc.. Unless it's gross misconduct they shouldn't move straight to firing. I say shouldn't as many small businesses get away with this but in large corporations like mine it would be impossible.

Redundancy however is something I'd call a meeting like this for. In the UK it should be a 3 month process to make you redundant.

Good luck, I hope it is nothing.

This is a completely misleading post.

UK employment law stipulates that employees need at least two years of continuous service to be eligible to make an unfair dismissal claim. The OP has been with the organisation for less than two years and can be simply let go.

Bjorkdidit · 30/01/2025 18:42

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:27

Thank you all for the helpful advice. I've been looking for a new job for a while and have been shortlisted for two roles this week. If neither of these opportunities works out, I’m concerned as it took me eight months to find my current position. I’m reasonably senior and specialised, which adds to my worries. I sense that the writing is on the wall due to the difficult atmosphere with my boss.

Could they have got wind that you're looking elsewhere and want to discuss that?

Maybe even what they can do to persuade you to stay - more money, changes to working conditions etc?

I'm rolling my eyes at people posting that you're going to be fired. They have no way of knowing that and it's not nice to suggest that this is the likely reason. Like PPs say, it could be because your boss is ill and they want you to act up, they want to discuss some aspect of the business with you - a restructure with you heading a new team or other possibilities.

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 18:38

Foxy200 · 30/01/2025 18:32

I'm holding off on calling them, as I believe that if they bring the inevitable forward, I’ll lose three days of my notice period. I might as well use this weekend and Monday/Tuesday next week to look for jobs while they’re still paying me.

The one thing I can’t understand is that there aren’t many people who can do my job due to its specialised nature, and it took them a long time to recruit me. Without sounding arrogant, I know I’m performing well, so would they really fire me, just because my face doesn't fit

No, I don’t think so
A lot of bosses don’t actually like their employees and vice versa but if they are doing a good job and they know they are to valuable they would be stupid to let them go for that reason

ClockingOffers · 30/01/2025 18:37

In my experience an employee attending a meeting involving an HR rep without having received an agenda beforehand is likely to be because the manager doesn’t want anything in writing that might backfire on them. Or because they’re so utterly incompetent that the HR person has insisted on attending as they know they might be needed to step in and do some damage control.

Normally, I’d refuse to attend any meeting without receiving a written agenda at least 2 days beforehand, although preferable a week.

However, if they still refuse to give you any advance information, then insist on recording the meeting on your telephone and say it’s because it helps all parties to be clear about what was discussed and agreed. Take a second phone in with you and have it on record in your pocket, just in case. Weasily managers will often contradict themselves and then blame you for YOUR apparent misunderstanding. Don’t let him get away with it.