Two thirds of adults in England are obese or overweight. It would make as much sense to ask what is different about the other one third.

I've always been very slim as have my mum and my adult child. I definitely think it's partly down to genetics. I was fed healthily on home cooked food and got lots of exercise as a child and saw those things as normal. There was definitely good food, and bad food to only be had occasionally as treats - I definitely don't agree that there should be no judgement around food, there's loads of really shit food constantly on offer out there and kids should be aware.

I have also heard people on weight loss injections say they have a constant voice in their head saying they're hungry and I've never had anything like that. I eat till I'm full and that's it. That's not to say I can't eat a whole packet of jaffa cakes in one sitting of course....but I do enough exercise and eat healthily enough most of the time that it doesn't have any impact.

I would take that number with a pinch of salt (to an extent).

I'm definitely part of the overweight statistic, but I can run sub 4 marathons, qualify for Boston, and have a flat stomach. So I'm doing all the right things YET I'm still overweight, so there's that.

I wouldn't say the people in my family who are overweight are in poverty but they are definitely in the squeezed middle band who are rushing around all the time, knackered have small kids and not very much time to prioritise themselves.

There are a lot of women in their 30s and 40s throughout the country who fall into that category and that was definitely me a few years ago. Plus adding any peri menopausal and hormonal issues into the mix. Adrenalin and cortisol have a lot to answer for.

I’m British but of Chinese descent.

I was raised on a mixture of Chinese and English food. I mean real Chinese food not the stuff from a Chinese take away, all batter and gloopy sauce.

English food seems incredibly unhealthy to me, lots of carbs and sweet stuff, I was raised without pudding. I suppose it’s because the weather is bad you need something to be calorific to keep warm.

Asians will tell you stuff straight, be kind doesn’t exist in that culture and having self control is everything. I went to a big family wedding, many middle aged and older women from 45 to 65. I was easily the biggest. The fat Auntie at a size 8/10. My diet is probably more western than many of my relatives as I do cater for DH English tastes.

I was taught how to cook properly.

I remember the first time DS went to his GF house for dinner, he is well over 6ft, he said the Mum ate the same amount as him and she is 5ft 1. I said I didn’t believe him but he assured me he was right. When we met, well she is very over weight, It’s portion size mainly. Plus alcohol, many of my family do not drink at all as culturally it’s just not a big thing.

I was morbidly obese from my childhood until my mid twenties.

For me it was portions that were just too much.

I have always cooked at home from scratch, we grew up poor so didn't have the money for takeaways. But food was one of the only joys and comfort, so the portions would always be too big. Too much pasta on the bolognaise, too many roast potatoes on the cooked dinner, a big bowl of rice pudding for after etc.

PCOS didn't help.

I'd love to say I had some big revelation but to be honest I didn't. As we got wealthier I just gradually started enjoying other things more than food, and I started leaving food on the plate when I was full (unheard of in my childhood, practically criminal).

DH, dd and ds have always been slim, and we all ate the same things.

I was severely under weight most my life and I'm decently tall too... medications and disability is the answer as to why I was.

People always commented on how lucky I am to be underweight, well its easy to be underweight when you haven't really ate anything for 5 days.

Having a carer who monitors my eating to make sure I eat a least 1 meal every day has cause 4 stone weight increase over the years and I'm now smack bang in the 'healthy weight' category.

1-2 meals a day brought me right up to a healthy weight.

It blows my mind that some people I have spoke to insist on eating 3-4 meals a day PLUS snacks in between just purely for 'routine' and believing they just 'should' eat breakfast/dinner/tea/supper because they where taught less is 'unhealthy' or are scared of that silly fear of 'starvation mode'.

Of course people gain weight if they eat more than they actually need regularly for nothing more than the sake of following an arbitrary set schedule or fear that if they skip a meal they some how would gain twice as much weight at the next meal (the logic makes my brain hurt but so many people have condescended that old wives tale to me).

It's in a lot of science literature.
e.g. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2430504/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11874411/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12023994/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21460597/

Also worth looking up Dr. Louis J. Aronne as he has done a fair amount of research into leptin and ghrelin (more leptin) and talks about it on https://zoe.com/learn/obesity-with-dr-louis-j-aronne if podcasts are your thing.

I don't think you've got the point but there's no arguing with stupid so ...

Yes definitely. And particularly when all my health metrics apart from weight (even waist measurement) are telling me I'm healthy, and I'm actually comfortable with how I look in clothes being two stone overweight on the scales but still being only a size 12/14 and fairly tall.

There is very little motivation other than knowing that it is more strain on my heart and joints even if I feel super fit and healthy now, and particularly as I get into my 50s- and also that through menopause if I am not careful I could pile the weight on.

I am fortunate that I haven’t ever been overweight and in my case it is mainly down to genetics I should think. Maybe some environmental factors too. I find it very easy to stop eating when I feel full so no willpower involved there. I have never had a lot of money, so if my clothes get tight I cut out the biscuits and chocolate and step up on my feeble amount of exercise. That doesn’t feel hard for me and knocks back the few extra pounds. Obviously I am bigger now than when I was 20 years old!

Nobody was fixated on food in my family, although being slim was definitely valued. Portion sizes were much smaller and so were our plates as I was growing up. Most meals were cooked from scratch and takeaways were very rare. I do think about food a lot but more about shopping for it and recipes. I have always cooked from scratch too. I love food and am very lucky that I haven’t had to properly restrict my diet as I would find that very difficult.

I don’t think that any of this makes me a better person of course. Some of us do get dealt an easier hand with regard to propensity for weight gain.

Poverty is a huge factor. I don’t have any overweight friends and neither do my kids of varying ages. I can’t believe all of us have more willpower; financial privilege plays a bit part. It’s really complex.

Do you really think that overweight people haven't ever been on a diet or tried to change how they eat?
I'm really good at following diets, I ate very similarly to the plan you mentioned for around two years and lost loads of weight.
I'm also amazing at putting the weight back on and a bit more every time and then it gets a little bit harder to lose every time.

Another thing I noticed since buying a FitBit about 8 years ago. My slimmest friends who also have a FitBit and who I follow on there do A LOT of steps. Was a "no shit Sherlock" moment for me and an insight into how active people are.

I do ok for someone who sits down for 35 hours a week - often 85,000 steps a week, and am often 3rd or 4th in my friends list, but I'm never going to outdo my friend who is a dog walker and gets 120,000 steps a week, or the one who is a running coach.

I live in an area where people are slimmer and fitter I'd say than the national average.

What I would say about this area is that it's wealthier than average so I would guess people have:

• better access to healthcare (inc. private) and probably are less "time poor" than others and able to find time to get outdoors around work- probably a higher number of people have professional jobs where they have a fair bit of freedom in how/when they work
• Really nice parks and outdoor green spaces which makes you want to get outside
• Loads of gyms, personal trainers, yoga classes and other sports facilities nearby and people have the time and money to access them.
• Money to pay for after school activities for kids and bikes etc, taking them out with you on bike rides - getting them active from an early age
• Good choice of supermarkets and also farm shops and markets - and people can afford to buy organic, less processed locally produced food and the energy costs and time to cook it
• Most have probably had ta healthy lifestyle instilled in them from childhood

While it's not the be all and end all, there are areas where it's a health food dessert - just tons of takeaways and convenience stores. And it's not a nice place to go for a walk. And poverty/lack of funds/lifestyle play a huge part - that's not to say rich = thin and poor = fat, as it's not as simplistic as that but lifestyle and things that people find hard to control - how much time they have to themselves to decided to go out and exercise, how much time they can spend on food prep and how much they can spend on food full stop.

These societal divisions between haves and have not areas have got much worse in the last 40 years or so.

Some people do just have a natural off switch. I’m overweight, always have been… but DC 1 has always been slim - just eats when hungry and stops when full. Even in the middle of a favourite pudding. DC2 will eat until all the food is gone - every single time. They literally have no full up switch. We struggle to keep them from being overweight. (Lots of activity - portion control and healthy foods in the house)

This has been the case since weaning. Same parenting/ household food culture but complete opposites in the relationship with eating.

Yes, this is like me I think. Except I only started weekly weighing in my fifties. I have always loved clothes and fashion and want to be able to fit into clothes I own and love. I am not interested in hair and makeup but love my clothes that I have collected over my adult life.

What desert have you tried? If you've only started with one of the "biggies" like the Sahara or Gobi, can I suggest you don't over-face yourself and go for something smaller?

See, its not will power for me. I just eat what I want, when I want and stop when I have had enough.

I think there probably are some people who have naturally bigger appetites. But I also that many people have broken their natural connection with their appetite through eating lots of sugary and crap food. This used to be me. I probably had a sub-clinical eating disorder, looking back on it. I overate at every meal, binged, how no idea when I was full, found it almost impossible to stop eating sweet and sugary food. Would obsess about it. There was no way I could have chocolate or cake in the house within binging on it all in a one go.

I started going out with a guy who was not like this. Who naturally ate more when he was more active and less when he was not, without thinking about it. this was a revelation to me.

Like I said upthread, I spent a year reprogramming myself to get back in touch with my natural appetite. It was very hard and that did require a lot of willpower, failure, getting back on the horse and carrying on.

I think I am a living example that probably an awful lot of people have destroyed their ability to be in tune with their appetite through eating a lot of crap food that is creating 'noise' which means their natural hunger and satiation signals have been fucked over.

My personal view is that a lot of people need a reset.

Really interesting hearing people say "who can stop at 10 cashew nuts?", "I could easily polish off a sharing bag of maltesers", or find it remarkable that someone can not eat an entire slab of chocolate and stop after one square.

I am one of these people for whom 10 cashew nuts IS enough. I'll eat them and think "that was nice, glad I did that" and stop at that. I won't proceed to "I'll just have another handful". I don't feel the need to. I have had a box of fancy chocolates in the cupboard since early December: one piece once a week is enough for me. I go days without even remembering it's there. I don't need to eat it, and I know it will be there when I do fancy a piece.

I don't physically crave any ingredient (sugar, fat, whatever) enough to eat an entire something. In fact, I think it would make me feel nauseous to eat too much of anything in one go - I guess it would anyone, but the question is what is "too much". An entire pint of Ben & Jerry's would definitely make me vomit. I will eat 1/3 cup at a time and that will be enough sweetness and fat for me. It won't fill me up, I'll have some tortilla chips after (sweet, savoury, sweet, savoury) but 1/3 cup is "enough".

And yes there is a moral element too: the sheer gluttony of a sharing bag of something, a whole slab of chocolate is repulsive to me on a moral level. That's down to my parenting, I think. I was raised in an "everything in moderation, except fruit and vegetables which you can eat to your heart's content" household. I think if I'd been raised in a permissive household, this factor wouldn't exist now.

Which still leaves the physical craving. I think some people have it, and some people don't. Just the luck of the draw. It must be a genetic thing as well as an environmental thing. Makes sense. Most of life is like that.

I think food noise is key. I have a friend who has just finished a course of Mounjaro and she realised that most of her thoughts during the day where about food.

She would always clear her plate, even when full. She would literally eat anything put in front of her ie, she’d never say no to a certain food because she didn’t like it, there was no food she didn’t like.

Taking the jab made her realise that she had been eating portion sizes way too big for her whole life and she didn’t actually need that much food to function in a day.

I’ve always been underweight, I just don’t care much about food, I get full up very quickly and I’m not a fan of carbs or junk food.

Peoples’ brains are just wired differently and you have to learn about yourself.

Me too.! My BMI has gone from 18 to 25 since I identified the issue. (and I feel fat even though I'm sure I'm healthier, because it's not what I was used to)

Not at all the case for me. My parents brought me up on junk food, we ate stuff like supernoodles most nights.

When they broke up, I was brought up on burgers and chips and takeaway food.

I stayed slim because I walked a minimum of 6 miles a day.

In hindsight, there was casual neglect and some outright awful incidents.

When one parent remarried, I remember visiting and being literally mindblown that my stepparent had made a homemade lasagna. Then I was introduced to roasted veg. I had never eaten courgettes, aubergine, butternut, loads of common veg, until I was in my 20s and taught myself to cook.

@NotAnotherBirthday that is fascinating about the ghrelin and leptin mechanism after weight loss. Where did you read about that please?

I am overweight. Right now, at 36, I am the same weight I was when I was 17. So much of it is childhood. We used to eat sooo much crap and our portion sizes were way too big. My ‘stable’ weight is 10lbs overweight and I just cannot shift that last 10lbs. I can maintain but it isn’t easy. I think about food all the time and crave it
constantly. I honestly think I’m hardwired this way after being raised eating a lot of crap (alongside a lot healthy food I should add). Food was v much a treat and reward also.

I’d wagers it’s about educating parents and getting ‘em young. I’d be interested to hear from the slimfolk what their childhood eating habits were.

That sounds awful @Jenasaurus !

No one was weighing each other at my work. That’s also an awful thing to encourage a 17 year old to do.
Mine was more that I realised that thin people don’t over eat. I thought I didn’t eat a lot but realised I had it wrong. I think people are mostly in denial about how much they eat.

When I see a very overweight person I always think why they must eat and drink a lot.