Page 8 | Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

SleepDeprivedButAlive · 30/01/2025 15:14

I'll hold your hand while I say this. Have some self respect and leave him.

You do not want to be around while he's co-parenting this new baby with his ex and his other kids.

This really REALLY isn't worth it.

PistachioPickle · 30/01/2025 15:12

It's always the woman who's crazy. It's always the woman who's abusive. It's always the woman who's a psycho. It's always the woman who won't leave the man alone. It's never, you know, the man who's ever in the wrong is it.

Ditch the prick! Work on your self esteem.

Billyblue47 · 30/01/2025 15:12

Boo hoo. Let him cry. If you stay with him, you'll always, rightly, be worrying about what he's doing when he's visiting his kids.

You are laying a lot of responsibility at her door. She stupidly wants him and loves him. She has no loyalty to you. Unfortunately, neither does he. He doesn't care who he strings along as long as he's getting his willy wet.

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 15:09

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 15:05

Yeah he's openly admitted tbag he has 2/3 things on go when ever he's single or gets out of a relationship but as soon as I mention to him that I will find someone who treats me better he don't like it more then likely because it's true but unlike him I do t need to go have meaningless sex with one never mind 2 or 3 men, I can be on my own and he knows that but I'm not going to be! I'm going to go and have all the fun I was having before he come into my life and ruined everything I had built for myself my self esteem my confidence my energy my motivation my personality all of it gone

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Yeah he's openly admitted tbag he has 2/3 things on go when ever he's single or gets out of a relationship

I would definitely get rid of him, this type of man will never be happy with one woman and definitely cheat on you in the future if he hasn’t already done so

LIZS · 30/01/2025 15:08

Was he ever really with you, or playing you both along?

sonnunny · 30/01/2025 15:08

Run and never look back

outerspacepotato · 30/01/2025 15:08

Never ever trust a fuckboi.

Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 15:05

Over40Overdating · 30/01/2025 14:15

Does he have a magic cock that he’s got two women making doormats of themselves over him?

He’s immature, untrustworthy and likely to fall dick first into the nearest woman every time you break up - which will keep happening.
Do you honestly think it’s the first time he’s shagged his ex and it was just bad luck she got pregnant after years apart on a one night stand?

You might love him but he doesn’t love you and if you don’t start loving yourself more, you’ll be sat on the sidelines whilst he plays happy families with his ex and a new baby whilst you are told to be happy for crumbs and shouted out for having feelings.

A man who acts like this can’t be the only man in the world you can be in a relationship, surely?

Yeah he's openly admitted tbag he has 2/3 things on go when ever he's single or gets out of a relationship but as soon as I mention to him that I will find someone who treats me better he don't like it more then likely because it's true but unlike him I do t need to go have meaningless sex with one never mind 2 or 3 men, I can be on my own and he knows that but I'm not going to be! I'm going to go and have all the fun I was having before he come into my life and ruined everything I had built for myself my self esteem my confidence my energy my motivation my personality all of it gone

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AcquadiP · 30/01/2025 15:05

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 12:20

I’m posting this here to be told straight basically as I don’t really have any family and friends that know what’s going on in my life so please just tell me how it is Hi girls I really need some advice because I feel honestly crazy here
So me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years we split up a few months back for 2-3 months but was in contact with eachother throughout and had slept together a few times still..
To then for us to decide to sort things out properly things was good for a few days until I found out he had slept with his ex.. didn’t mention anything to me but when I found out said he was ‘honestly going to tell me’ was acting off anyway before I found out accusing me of not being trust worthy and that I’m acting ‘shifty’ turned out to just be him.. to then a couple of weeks later he wants to tell me something SHES PREGNANT… she still loves him and is infatuated with him and I’ve told him he’s just relit an old flame in her and she just won’t leave him alone she’s become abusive to me too.. now I was willing to forgive him and try to get over everything that’s happened (the self esteem is clearly next level for me isn’t it😑)
So again we tried again but he’s telling her we aren’t together and wants me to stay quiet about us as he has kids with her and she’ll ‘ruin his life’ so I found out yday he’s been telling her we aren’t together so obvs I’ve hit the roof and now ‘I’m done your crazy’ bla bla bla AM I BEING MANIPULATED cuz I also feel like I’m the bad person right now 😭😭😭 he’s saying that the reason why he doesn’t want her to know just yet is because of the stuff she says and causes but also so that we can have time to ‘bond’ again just any advice 😭

Are you being manipulated? Sorry you are.

And so is she.
He wants to have his cake and eat it: family set up with her and you secretly on the side.
For the sake of your sanity and self-respect, dump him.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/01/2025 15:04

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 30/01/2025 12:21

Dump him and don't look back

Seconded.

Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 15:02

Wtafdidido · 30/01/2025 14:13

He is a liar. He is a cheat. He has no respect for you and he is a spineless idiot. Get some self respect and get rid of him and find someone deserving of your time and live. There is no future for you as he is irrevocably ties to his ex by children. What a bloody mess.

But then claims to be this loyal person in the beginning trusted him eachother with everything phones left about open discussions etc and then just ruins it all and then gaslights me what is it in men tbag is lacking common decency to do the right thing.. if he wanted to keep me he wouldn't of slept with her I think that's the answer to it all really

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CoffeeGood · 30/01/2025 15:02

Has he been seeing his children without you present since they originally split up? If he has, then you are, and have always been, the other woman, irrespective of whether it was "public" and she knew about you. He's been sleeping with her all this time but has run out of luck and she has got pregnant, either accidently or deliberately.

Please, you deserve better than this, leave the two of them to it, they have children together and are going to have another. You will ALWAYS be the other woman, public or secret! You deserve a man of your own, who isn't going to treat you like a dirty little secret to make HIS life easier! You deserve the whole plate, not scraps!

BMW6 · 30/01/2025 15:01

I am thrilled that our genetic pool is soon going to be added to by the procreation of such wonderful parents.

Fabulous.

Waterboatlass · 30/01/2025 15:00

You don't want this. Pull the plaster off and move on with your life.

Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 15:00

millymae · 30/01/2025 14:11

There’s a saying that love is blind and in the nicest possible way I think you need to get to Specsavers and sendi him packing.
As someone said earlier the fact that he doesn’t want anyone to know you a couple should be enough to tell you what he really thinks about the relationship

I know this is what I don't get everyone knows about our relationship everyone knew about it since we first got together so why so secretive now?? That's the part I don't have an answer too so I just sit and overthink because he's not man enough to tell me the truth

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suburberphobe · 30/01/2025 15:00

we split the main one was because I felt invisible to him he'd give me the silent treatment constantly for no reason, barely spoke to me touched me or was engaging

Jesus woman! Run far and fast via a sexual health check-up and to a therapist to find out why you put up with such poor treatment from a man.

Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 14:58

gallic · 30/01/2025 14:03

If you stay it'll be doubly beneficial for him! He gets a girlfriend and a clown for his kid's birthday!

This made me laugh because I'm exactly this blunt 😂 not happening though

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Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 14:56

Starlightstarbright4 · 30/01/2025 14:01

You need to use your head not your heart .

The reasons you split up are reasons alone never to go back .

He tells you he doesn’t want the baby- does he tell her that ?

You are never going to have value here . New baby will arrive he will be there with her seeing new baby .. honestly you won’t like it .

He isn’t even bothering love bombing more gas lighting you ..

You need to be alone for now . You do deserve more .

He said he did tell her but then she told me that he was agreeing to night feeds the day after he found out she was pregnant which he kept from me for another 2 days.. after I found out he had slept with her he promised it be honest with me 😂 finds out she's pregnant and doesn't tel me for 2 days but knew it was a matter of time before she told me to be spiteful cow they both deserve eachother he's blocked on everything now

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Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 14:55

flippinnorra · 30/01/2025 14:00

I suspect he's been stringing her along, or hasn't really broken up with her.

I'd have to tell her yourself that you're together - give her the truth.

And then walkway.

She seen me the other day started threatening to hit me so I told her to do it then she walks off shouting shit at me about him then gets on phone to him and tells him I'm starting shit and I know she's gunna be the damsel in distress and act innocent to make it look like it's me when it's not I've text her once and I've but my tongue with her for the rest

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Original poster

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 14:54

ExtraOnions · 30/01/2025 13:57

He had unprotected sex with (at least) one other woman, and you are willing to just jump back on.

i hate the way people use “love” as a way of defending their inability to make a decent decision. Love isn’t an unstoppable force, that controls you - you still have free will.

That's the point though when we split and I slept with him a few times he didn't tell me he slept with her ! Because obvs he wanted to be selfish because he knew if he told me he fet told to fuck off but he didn't he was selfish and chose to keep it quiet and not tell me and still continue to sleep with me I've not slept with him since the 1st of December and I'm glad cuz I don't trust anything he says anymore

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outerspacepotato · 30/01/2025 14:53

You're all hung up on his words when his actions have shown you just who he is.

He lies. He cheats. He has unprotected sex with the woman he's back together with and he's going to raise another child with her. You are the dirty secret he bangs behind her back.

Do you have children watching you model this?

Scentsitive · 30/01/2025 14:49

Also why on earth would you post screenshots on Facebook? Do people honestly do that??

31 is old enough to let crap like this go.

LifeExperience · 30/01/2025 14:49

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 12:41

We don't have kids together no share anything I dunno I just love the guy a lot and he knows that

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You don't love him. You love the idea of the relationship you might have had if he were a better person. But he's not a good person. He's a pathetic, lying, cheating asshole who emotionally abuses you (the silent treatment) and got another woman pregnant. What a prince!

It's time to love and value yourself, OP. No man is worth debasing yourself just so you can say you're in a relationship. Dump the dick and take care of YOU.

2025willbemytime · 30/01/2025 14:48

Are you pretending or do you really not know this is a mess you should get out of? If it's true then get yourself some therapy as to why you've settled with this crap for so long and were willing to stay with him when he couldn't not have sex with his ex when you were on a break.

Praying4Peace · 30/01/2025 14:47

Chanjh25 · 30/01/2025 12:26

Yeah there was many reasons why we split the main one was because I felt invisible to him he'd give me the silent treatment constantly for no reason, barely spoke to me touched me or was engaging

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So in the best interests of all, especially his kids, he needs to get out of your life and commit to his existing family. No alternative