Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

This sounds exactly like my baby daddy. He literally just popped into my life about three months ago, got me pregnant and now is MIA except when he wants a booty call. We have a two year old together as well and he never visits him, he is always picking fights with me and rubs it in my face that he sleeps with other women. Men like this do not deserve our time, effort, or emotions. I know a piece of you loves him, but please believe you deserve so much better. No man that loves you would ever keep you a secret or make you feel as though someone else was above you in their priorities. If he has been acting "off" trust your instincts, because honestly you're probably right about every scenario you have thought of in your head. You wouldnt think he was lying or doing things behind your back if he were a decent man that was not to lying and doing things behind your back. This sounds like a man that is manipulative and wants his cake and to eat it too. Please take care of yourself and be strong and walk away. You will find after a little of a rough recovery time, the light and self worth and joy in your life will come back. Good luck

Jeez OP - you do know that it IS possible to NOT be with a man? You can be single and happy?

You don't need this loser, you have your own kids, why do you want this tosser? In this day and age, no one will judge you for being single. Be proud.

Stop blaming her, stop 'fighting' with her over him. You don't need him, or love him; there's nothing lovable or even likeable about him. He didn't talk to you, touch you or engage with you, remember? Why do you want that back?

Ditch him. Live a good life. Be happy. Be proud that you don't want or need a cheating, selfish, rancid specimen like him.

GTFO NOW!!

100% you (and her) are being manipulated. 100% leave him. 100% she should know. 100% she will have an awful life with him. Move onwards and upwards and leave them to it. Good luck x

Delete his number. Move on, do not engage with him. Your life will be very difficult, restricted and controlled. The baby momma will also cause you unnecessary drama and conflict. Your lucky to have the choice to leave I hope and you have no ties to this pathetic peasant. I wouldn't call him a man. Good luck go find your happy.

Leave him. Probably gonna be best option for both of you

Hi sweetheart,
I don’t know how old you are but obv at any age this is not ok!!!!

Read that back and think if a friend was telling you this what would you say to them? Ditch them right...

IMO this is an absolute dumping ground, not only has he tried to make you out to be the ‘one in the wrong’ but the ex-girlfriend sounds terrible and no one should be asked to ‘stay quiet’ you deserve love so strong that they want to tell the world!

Be direct, strong and calm but this will not be a good thing if you carry on.

You need to accept that if you decide to stay with him things are going to get very messy in all sorts of ways. Not matter how painful move on and find someone who doesn't come with this sort of baggage and is proud to be with you.

Not much going for this relationship. Move on

THE ISSUE IS HIM AND HIS WILLY @Littlejellyuk Yes that is it.

The sex isn't worth it. Run a mile. It will only get worse. He will use her as a scapegoat and blame her for his problems.
THE ISSUE IS HIM AND HIS WILLY.
She won't ruin his life, he's ruined his own.
Don't let him ruin yours. Those poor children.

Then why would you even consider being with a guy who barely sees his kids? Did he give it the old "my ex is crazy and won't let me see my kids". Can't you see his words are worthless. You can't trust a single thing he says. Look at his actions.

you're better than this, OP. Stop reacting and stop communicating. You know yourself you need to be away and stay away from this guy. Block him everywhere. If he doesn't go back to his pregnant ex, I'm sure it won't be long til he finds another sap who will believe his BS.

Urgh. He's got 5 kids and one on the way. Sheesh, most women wouldn't touch him with a barge pole, based on that alone. Throw in the lying and cheating and he is even more of a low value male.

There is no future in this. At worst, he has never stopped being with her, at best she's the woman he will run to every time you have a row. That's if you were even together, which let's face it you're not - he has chosen her.

Ask yourself this - if his best friend got married tomorrow, would he take you to the wedding or her? There's just no legs in this.

Wake up.

you dont know this guy, and what you do know is AWFUL

Cop yourself on, he is making a total mug of you. Walk away now and within a couple of months you will have forgotten all about this waste of space.

Don't lower yourself to there standards! He's a dick,dump him and find someone who loves you and treats you with the respect you deserve x

@Chanjh25 You say you have posted because you have no close family or friends to talk things over with. I have not read the whole thread, but everyone is telling you the same thing: your relationship with this man is not a good one. You say you love him: I think you are in for a lot more pain if you stay with him. He cheats and lies, expects you to cover for him and is trying to make you feel responsible for his actions.
Get him out of your life. You are, and I mean this, worth so much more. Xxx

People who love you don’t hide you away

This guy is having his cake and eating it.

He does not respect you

Yes, he is manipulating you.

There is absolutely no reason that you should have to keep quiet about your relationship - this is not a loving and respectful relationship - you deserve better and no, he absolutely will not change. Leave. No arguments, long conversations or air time for him to twist things to make you think this is normal etc. - just leave.

Possibly because he was touching and engaging with his ex. No man is worth sharing and if she finds out, which she will, that he is lying it is going to go to next level crazy. You see him lying to her, so you can naturally assume everything he is telling you is a load of crap too.
Find some strength to tell this lowlife piece of shit, to go back to her and leave you alone x

OP, the leopard does not change his spots. You’re enabling him to have his cake and eat it - if he wants you to keep your relationship secret, then you’re nothing more than his bit on the side. Run for the hills.

@Chanjh25 Why? Why and how can you love someone like that? Genuinely interested as he has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and a hell of a lot of horrible ones. Please let us know. I don't understand.

It's good to know that you have the capacity to love someone. This is a great gift, this has the power to reshape our lives. But with great power comes great responsibility, and the need for judgement. Given what you've described, mistrusting him is not "acting 'crazy'". Trusting him to be an important part of your life - now that, however sadly, that would be crazy.

He's telling people you're not together so make it the truth. You honestly don't need to be with anyone like that. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He treats you like dirt on his shoe and he's playing you both if not more women. You need to learn to love yourself and find out your true worth because atm it seems like you're letting people dictate to you what you should put up with. You need to discover you. Tell him it's true he's not with you and not to come over ever again. Every time he does take a picture send it to his gf and tell her to come get him cos you're fed up with him coming round because despite what he's saying she is his gf. Find a hobby and I know it isn't easy taking that first step. I started playing football at 37yrs old weighing almost 19st. Getting the courage to actually go was scary and took me months but I went and never looked back. There will be local clubs for alsorts where you are. Near me there's knitting, camera, train, star gazing, football, running, litter picking, board games, netball, cricket, rounders etc. Put yourself out there and you won't have time to dwell on the time waster. Don't let him waste any more of your time and go live your life how you want to live it

This. Leave.

Run
Run far, run fast, run now!
Look on the bright side, you've found out what a lying, undependable little shit he is before you moved in with, or worse, married him
He's a liar, a cheat, he attempted to gaslight you, and now is asking you to ie for him
Whatever good qualities he may have, you are setting yourself up for abuse, cheating, and lying if you stay with him

Sounds like a horrible little Road Man with no job who goes from one woman to another trying to make baby mothers out of them. Sleeping where he can like a dog.
Have some respect and leave him