Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

OP, I find it a bit mad that posters are demanding you explain why you love this man, if he treats you so appallingly. Love is inherently irrational, unfortunately you can't just switch it off when it doesn't make sense to love someone any more.

But OP, I hope you understand that, despite what our culture says, despite all the romance films out there, love is not a good enough reason to stay with someone if they hurt you like this.

You can love someone and also know it's over and that you need to move on for your own good because they don't value you as a person and they make your life miserable. It will fade with distance and at some point in the future, you will look back and wonder what on earth you saw in him.

Why are you with this idiot?

I'm not really in the LTB team, but honestly, you know what you need here, and it's not him or his supposed Ex or the DC.

Find happiness alone then find someone who lives you for you.

@Chanjh25 but he's not like that now so why do you still love him?

Yes, it's very common for men like this to call women "crazy" when they call them out on their crappy behaviour and act like anything other than pathetic doormats. Laugh, ignore, bin him.

Do you really not believe you are worth more than this?

I don't get what the OP sees in him, I've asked, but she's not said how she can love someone like this. That isn't love.

Please leave this man and never let him back in to your life. You deserve better, everyone deserves better than that. If he is not willing to be honest about your relationship then he is not being honest with you either. He is showing you that you mean very little to him (at best). Please don't listen to his words, listen to his actions they are speaking much louder. He has been getting exactly what he wants from you and his "ex", and all at your expense.

You have no self respect.

Please get therapy. If you can’t afford it, maybe some self help books.

Ew... I mean
There is so much men out there.

I can't believe women still falls for shit like this in 2025

This relationship has run its course. Its Tim to let it go. It's entirely too messy. You will regret carrying on

I’m older than you but wasted 9 years of my 40’s on a lying, cheating, jealous, violent man. He started cheating on me, I was fully aware of what was happening, (I knew how he had treated his ex wife) but I was so obsessed with him and winning the battle against this other woman who also happened to be an old flame I lost all sense. Finally after years, she found someone else and I had him! I had won….but once I’d got him, I realised I didn’t actually want him and never really had. It had become more of a competition and rather than being the winner, I was the loser because I had to put up with his crazy jealousy and violence. I ended it with him, which he made very difficult but now, in my 50’s, I have a lovely man and I’m very settled. I’m also furious at myself for wasting so many years on such a scumbag. What happened to him? Well he’s now playing the same game with two more sensible intelligent women. He’s a piece of work who has been playing women off against each other for years and it sounds like your boyfriend is the same type. They never change. Get out now while you can, you will never be happy and settled with someone like him.

You need to wake up. He obviously told you what he thinks that you want to hear (ex is crazy, he hates her etc) and will be telling her what he thinks she wants to hear (you are crazy, you are a stalker, he doesn’t like you or date you any more…) It suits him to have you and his ex fighting so you don’t compare notes or see that he is manipulating you both so you don’t see that he is your problem.

Tbh he was probably shagging her during your relationship but she’s not told you about those times because she didn’t end up pregnant and pregnancy is how she can prove that she’s right.

Prioritise yourself and stop wasting your life on this drama. Block and move on. You’re a grown adult in a situation that mid teens would be in.

Moment of weakness, believing in the good in people. Idk..

How are you doing @Chanjh25? Hope you have had the strength not to go running back to him, because he will 100% cheat on you again and make your life completely miserable.

This is typical narcissistic behaviour on his part. Treated you like crap before you broke up then sneaked back into your affections again, expecting everything to be on his terms. Get rid sharpish, he will never change you will have a truly awful life with this gaslighting bastard.

OMG the poor other woman has unwittingly given you the perfect Get Out Of Jail card. RUN, RUN FAST. Block his number or delete his number from your phone. refuse any contact. He'll almost certainly make that booty call when his gf gives him the well deserved boot and he's snagging around again. plenty more fish.
Get some self respect and move on xx

Definitely get rid of him.

Please please PLEASE!!!!! Have more respect for yourself! This guys is taking you for a ride!! How old are you?

I only ask as I was like this when a boyfriend in late teens/early 20’s before I had the confidence to stand up and say no I deserve better…now in my 30’s I realise I was right and regret nothing! Be was a waster, liar and just generally manipulative and narcissistic.

I would leave him and leave them to it because they are welcome to eachother!!

Sorry what!? You've given everything to this man but he's taken everything you've had to give, stamped all over it, shat on it and kicked it into the hills and you still can't see that?! He is not a 'giver' of anything meaningful and you're still not listening to us.
So, to be crystal clear, yes he's manipulating you (many narcissistic bells ringing) and, guys love a cat fight, setting you off against his ex means he gets to sit back and enjoy himself while you tear yourself apart.
LEAVE HIM now while you can.
RUN AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS YOU CAN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!

But HE does NOT LOVE YOU at all !! He is a narcissistic lying dirtbag. If you think it's bad now it will only get worse. Too many big red flags there. If you stay with him he'll see that as permission to continue treating you like this. They deserve each other and you, deserve sooo much better. Walk away now while you still can. PLEASE.

Are you a bit thick?

So you have children with your ex, he has children with his ex who he hardly sees and another on the way?
What a fucking mess, those poor kids are not being shown healthy functioning relationships.
You say you love him? Do you honestly think he loves you? Because if you do you are wrong.
Get the fuck away from him protect your children. Poor little mites don’t stand a chance.

Just ask yourself do I need to this shit in my life?? I think you know the answer - you deserve better x

Why on earth did you have a second child with this man … I just don’t get it!