To be astounded at this behaviour from an 18 year old.

I agree. And for all you know this could be learned behaviour from his father. Don't assume all parents condemn their adult children's criminal behaviour.

@JoyousGreyOrca Not my experience in a harassment situation. I would certainly not be downplaying this at all. I'd be listening to the professionals on this thread. There has been so many cases in the news of escalating similar behaviour. Of course he might just bugger off but in the event that he doesn't (and OP mentions previous red flag behaviour) it would be better to have reported.

I would report it too, We are hearing to often, of these situations escalating with disastrous affects for the women and their families.

Not the same situation, but I once said hello and spoke to a girl in a shop, who was with her Mum, who I hadn’t seen for a couple of years, now an older teen, possibly twenty at the time, but someone who we had taken on holiday before, and had picked up from school and taken home several times every week, and to other events with our daughter.

She found me in another shop after this, having spoken to me nicely in the first shop, and screamed at me, for speaking to her in public and upsetting her social anxiety.

I was shocked and horrified at being screamed at, but what person thinks that this is acceptable ?

Her social anxiety was clearly not preventing her from shopping, or any other activity according to my daughter who sees her on social media .
And she is working now, but was at Uni at the time.

I had thought that she was a nice girl, I was clearly mistaken.

It's not about a telling off - it destabilises the support on his side - limits his ability to run crying to mummy

id also be telling his mother/father if you know how to contact them.

If he behaves like this towards his ex gf's mother, how do you think he treats his own mother?

He's an adult. He needs to face adult consequences, not a telling off from his mummy.

Forward the messages to his parents and tell him and them that any further contact will result in a report of harassment to the police.

@Hotflushesandchilblains I advised doing nothing at the moment except screenshotting messages and blocking him, not because I am not taking this seriously. But because the police are unlikely to do anything. Certainly where I live they simply record and give you a crime number for all but the most serious crimes. If you live somewhere where the police will take this seriously, then sure report it.

I'm a call handler on 101 calls. I would always advise that this kind of unhinged and abusive behaviour must be reported. I can guarantee you that he HAS committed a crime, and it will be taken seriously. Please ignore all the ignorant posters who are downplaying this - we all know that male violence towards females can escalate at an alarming rate, and a visit from a couple of officers might just be enough to frighten him into stopping this harassment.

Please call 101 and report this. They can book you an appointment if you want to speak to officers, or at the very least it will be logged, and if he keeps doing this there will be a record.

It might be dangerous behaviour, it might not be. But OP has no way of knowing which.
I agree the police will do nothing though.

Was not my post, but GOV.UK has stats, as do WHO. If anything, 10% is a bit low.

I really hope you don't have daughters if that's your attitude to abusive behaviour.

Perhaps read the posts from the actual police on this thread.

I think it's ridiculous to call the police because a teenager who is feeling hurt sent you a message on instagram and tried to call his girlfriend who dumped him

One message or one call you may have a point. 25 calls in a short space of time is harassment and concerning.

A high number of people will send ranty awful messages over social media, but will not do anything else. So statistically, the chances are that nothing else will happen.
If anything else does happen, then go to the police.

Just about every woman attacked or killed by an ex has had this thought. If nothing is done now he is being given the message that it is ok to do this. Its not, it is domestic terrorism. There is a reason why harassment laws came into place. And it is because, even if it does fizzle out, when it does not, the consequences are awful. And this is a young man who thinks relationships should work this way. Why just leave that alone? He needs to learn. And OP and DD deserve peace.

I would not respond at all. People are talking about giving "the little shit" a fright. It is just as likely to make him angry and provoke him to do more. Some of the advice on this thread is dangerous.
You could contact the Suzy Lamplugh Trust for advice on what to do. But the usual advice is do not engage at all.

I would not personally go to the police. I would screenshot the messages, block him on all social media and phones and advise your daughter to do the same. A high number of people will send ranty awful messages over social media, but will not do anything else. So statistically, the chances are that nothing else will happen.

If anything else does happen, then go to the police.

It's just the level of entitlement young men have. It seems to be worse than when I was that age but we forget, don't we?

Ask the police to have a word with him .it usually scares them enough to back off.

Can I just say OP, you need to stop thinking of him as a boy. He is a man. A legal adult. I say this because if you think of him as a boy, which he is not, it can cloud your judgement.

All this.

I'm sorry, OP. It's fucking awful.

I really think you should escalate this with a visit to the police @123dontcomeatme . When he doesn't get a response he may escalate. I wouldn't delay.

Yes, no threatening. Immediate paper trail.

there have been so many cases of (abusive) ex boyfriends going ballistic and stalking or hurting their ex partners. This is serious. Treat it as such @123dontcomeatme

otherwise your daughter will also think the offense isn’t that serious. It is!

This is the type of male that police need to be monitoring.

He needs to be told by the police that he’s on their radar, so he doesn’t think he can move on to the next girl and do this to her.

I’d ask for him to be identifiable on the Clare’s Law scheme.

Report to the police right away, tell him so, and watch out for yourselves. Hopefully he is all mouth and no trousers (as my mum would say) but don't take a risk with these septic bro guys.

Thank you need to text HIS parents and send screen shots and tell them “have a nice day”

Even in England I think the police would pay him a visit and have words. They did for DD’s ex when she was in a similar situation and told him to stop contacting her or he’d be done for harassment.

id also be telling his mother/father if you know how to contact them. If this was a son of mine I’d be shocked and be wanting to discuss handling things better with him.

tell that to Holly Newton's Mum.

This is Andrew Tate inspired behaviour and needs to be taken seriously.

I would love to know your source for the 10% stats.