To be astounded at this behaviour from an 18 year old.

Another thing, if your DD and this person share a social circle, she shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking she should not speak about what's happened in some misguided attempt at 'protecting his dignity' or 'keeping it between themselves'. That way, if he should somehow manage to get under her skin again, there will be nobody to support her.

You are wholly wrong. He may not "move on." And if he chooses not to what's his next step? Harassing the girl in person, more threats, violence?

And it was repeated calls ie harassing her not just calling a couple of times.

We had a very similar experience with my DS’s ex girlfriend.
After he finished with her, she sent messages to me on IG, telling me I needed to sort him out.
To cut a long story short, we discovered that in the time they’d been together, she had been coercive and controlling - demanding his social media log ins which she used to contact any female friends he had, cat phishing them as him, threatening female friends, contacting our DD to say she wasn’t happy about certain IG profiles DS was following etc.
If he added female friends on IG, she contacted them to warn them off and demanded screen shots of their conversations with DS.

Things rapidly escalated after he finished with her - she set up anonymous IG accounts to stalk me and DD, she used multiple burner phones to contact DS (pretending to be other people), she hacked his emails and social media accounts and then she went into his UCAS account and withdrew all his conservatoire applications the day after the submission deadline.

We went to the police and they logged every incident, recording the complaint as coercive controlling behaviour, stalking and harassment, and misuse of a computer.
Unfortunatrly, the days of the police being able to visit someone for a quiet word are past - now, they have to fully investigate complaints.
DS was going through auditions and A levels at the time and I was diagnosed with cancer in the middle of it all, so we chose to have it logged with the option to action the complaint if things continued.

She was withdrawn from their school this time last year (they were both boarders).
A couple of weeks ago, he was with his new girlfriend and was seen (he thinks) by his ex.
Within hours his FB account had been hacked.

OP, please contact the police. They will take it seriously and will log it as a complaint, which can be added to with every new incident and you can choose to action it either immediately or within 6 months.

Don't mither another woman with this adult man's begmhaviour.

OP and her daughter Both need to report 5his

I think it's ridiculous to call the police because a teenager who is feeling hurt sent you a message on instagram and tried to call his girlfriend who dumped him. This is not dangerous behaviour, it's the behaviour of a young man who is feeling rejected, hurt and experiencing the loss of a relationship for the first time.

Just block him and don't respond. Unless he's threatening to harm you then calling the police is an over-reaction and MN often advise this for minor things which in reality are not going to get any action from the police. He'll get over it and move on no doubt.

Why are you or your daughter even entertaining this. Just block and move on. He’s pissed off, and has an avenue to message you something we never had when we were young. You’ll prob never hear from him
agaiin after this event.

Nasty little bastard.
Do you not have a male relative who can sort this one out for you?

Forward the messages to his parents and tell him and them that any further contact will result in a report of harassment to the police.

I would be quite concerned actually and would be saying if he contacts either of you again you will be filing a police report for harassment.

I think giving him a bit of a scare is necessary as clearly he enjoys and thinks it's okay to harass and bully women.

Young men are extremely entitled these days. Social media red pill influences don't help one bit.

Not all young men are entitled!

Forward the messages to his parents and tell him and them that any further contact will result in a report of harassment to the police.

@Hotflushesandchilblains I advised doing nothing at the moment except screenshotting messages and blocking him, not because I am not taking this seriously. But because the police are unlikely to do anything. Certainly where I live they simply record and give you a crime number for all but the most serious crimes. If you live somewhere where the police will take this seriously, then sure report it.

I would be quite concerned actually and would be saying if he contacts either of you again you will be filing a police report for harassment.

I think giving him a bit of a scare is necessary as clearly he enjoys and thinks it's okay to harass and bully women.

Young men are extremely entitled these days. Social media red pill influences don't help one bit.

No male relative, single parent household.

It's really nasty, he was being really horrible tp her last night, he phoned her 25 times over the space of about 10 mins. She text him to stop and said she wasn't going to pick up, that's when he started messaging me.

She didn't dump him via text, but said to him they needed to talk about their relationship at the weekend. And then he went unhinged.

The calls were on top of the texts telling her to ' be a man and just fucking do it'

I'm so angry at him and horrified that he could speak to her like this. Then for him to start on me!

She said she couldn't meet him in person now as he doesn't feel safe.

I read all the time about male aggression towards women, but I am shocked by this.

I'm awake and just trying to get my head around this. I'm middle aged and just reeling from the behaviour of this 18 year old boy.

My daughters first boyfriend, been together just over a year. Seemed nice enough but a few worrying traits which she would talk about with me over the year. Enough to be worries but not enough to end what was a fun relationship.

After a rough 2 months with him, she's had enough and ended things with him.

Hes not taken it well, it's a bit scary.

Hes found me on Instagram and sent me 2 messages telling me it's my fault and that I'm pathetic and a host of other insults.

My daughter is aghast and I'm just struggling to get my head around such unhinged behaviour. I cannot ever imagine anyone doing such a thing. How on earth can he think that's an acceptable thing to do.

I feel so sad for my daughter too and want to support her in the best way possible, but she's furious and dumbstruck and upset all at the same time.

I just can't get my head around the arrogance, entitlement and total disrespectful of an 18, nearly 19 year old boy thinking that's ok.