To ignore the letter and go anyway? Toddler day case procedure

Everyone is different so I would ring up the ward and come up with a plan as what will work best for your toddler. Yes I would be concerned taking a new born into a hospital with all the bugs going around, but baby will have immunity from your milk. What ever works best for your family, hope it all goes well x

I’d both go with your newborn.

When it says no siblings, it won’t mean a babe in arms. I’m sure that’ll be allowable.

If they really won’t allow it, at least you’ll both be on hand at the hospital and can take it in turns to be in a reception area/cafe with the baby.

Hope all goes well. They pick up on parents’ anxiety, so try to make it a normal bright and breezy day for your toddler: lots of kids have this, it won’t take long and then they’ll get a treat etc.

I agree with this.

I had the same issue when going to great ormond street. We had to take the baby with us. They were fine. It just meant that only one parent could go down to theatre while they went to sleep. As siblings are not allowed there

I think they have asked for no siblings for a reason, it’s likely not going to be a great environment for a newborn who may feel unsettled and upset. Which will then have the knock on impact of distracting the other patients and the staff.

This is what I would do.

If you're 'anxious' to 'terrified', you're going to transit all those feelings to your toddler, which won't help them at all!

You want to be there for you, not for them. It's self-indulgent.

It also disrespects/devalues DH's ability to be the supporting parent on hand, and it's risky for your newborn to take them into a setting full of pathogens unnecessarily.

If you're generally anxious, or more anxious than usual right now, it might be worth consulting your GP for some support.

DS will be fine with his Dad. Life is stressful enough for hospital staff. Stay at home.

That's not true.

Totally agree

The hospital have rules for a reason. Could you go and be nearby, so maybe DH stays with him for pre-op, when he's under you swap and you're there for recovery or the other way around.

Obviously it's different for a toddler, but my elderly Mum needs an operation soon. She's been told, I'll have to phone from outside and they'll come down and get her, I'm not allowed in the hospital.

This solution. Or you stay home. Your child needs the procedure. Put that first.

A child doesn’t need their mother in these circumstances if their father is a decent parent. Surely your husband is equally able to take care of and comfort your child as you are?

Your ds will be fine with your dh. He needs some one on one time which you wouldn't provide with baby too. You say you're anxious, don't let him pick up on that.

Personally I'd only take a new baby to the hospital if they were the patient.

Could you both go and take it in turns to be with your toddler? One of you wait in the canteen while the other stays with your toddler?
I understand how you feel and why you would want to be there.

Disagree. This is about the children's needs and they both need their mother. There is going to be a compromise situation and that probably means DH staying nearby with the baby while OP is with toddler undergoing the procedure.

I would want to go on the journey to and from the hospital but I hear what others are saying about infection control. I think I’d send DH in with the toddler but I’d stay nearby in the cafe or car.
If Ds was really desperate for me then I could swap with DH briefly without worrying about the baby feeding.

Agree with pp one of you stays in cafe with baby and you switch in and out

You’re making this about you and your needs.

Think of your child’s needs and the fact that this procedure is something they need for better quality of life.

Let your husband take them and you stay home with the baby.

It’s not fair on your child to prolong this by cancelling again and you’re messing the hospital around by doing so and wasting valuable time that could be used on other patients.

I would go too, and take the baby in a sling/carrier, with a small backpack for the changing gear (not an enormous overpacked messenger bag with a long floppy strap that will get in the way!).

If they really don't want baby there, then either you or husband can take baby away and take turns according to the needs of your baby and your toddler. There are loads of places to hide out in a hospital while you're waiting - canteen, chapel, outside space, costa, shop.

There's normally a team of helpful volunteers near the main entrance during the day - they'll point you to somewhere quiet / food / toilets with changing facilities etc.

Don't overthink it or unnerve your toddler by turning up apologising etc. Just do it and then work it out if they say baby can't be bedside.

I hear that you are struggling with this, but if you are anxious your toddler will
pick up on this -so please don’t go. It will be an unsettling experience for them and they need a calm parent with them.
And please don’t tell them to be brave-that suggests something not very nice is going to happen and can ramp up their anxiety

this

I would go along.

A 1 month old baby is different than an older child.

And you and your DH can always swap around if needed.

All I would say is that I would avoid taking a 1 month old to a general children's ward if at all possible due to the risk of exposure to respiratory infections. There may also be a real problem with physical space, it is unlikely your son will have a private room, so no space for a pram etc.

Honestly send your DH- it will be fine.

I understand where you're coming from but I'd avoid taking newborn to a hospital filled with sick kids and germs if at all possible!